Body Paragraphs How to write them

Essay Structure Introduction Thesis Statement Body Subtopic #1 Subtopic #2 Subtopic #3 Conclusion

Remember our Thesis Statement? In Pakistan, Honor killing is a harsh and cruel punishment that results in unfair deaths, and it should be banned.

Now, let’s focus on the Body of the Essay Subtopic #1: Background Information and Causes

What you need to include – this matches your outline. Topic Sentence for first main point Supporting Detail Commentary Supporting Detail Commentary (Optional) Supporting Detail Commentary Closing Sentence

Topic Sentence First sentence of each body paragraph. States your main point. Says what your whole paragraph will be about.

First, let’s practice writing the topic sentence. Topic: Poverty Opinion: is a world-wide problem Main Cause: caused by society neglecting the poor. Topic Sentence: Poverty is a world-wide problem caused by society neglecting the poor.

Practice… Topic: Child labor on U.S. farms Opinion: is a human rights violation Main Cause: caused by a lack of resources and government intervention.

Practice Again… Topic: Forced marriages Opinion: Main Cause: Topic Sentence:

Sample Topic Sentence for Subtopic #1: Background Info./Causes Topic: Honor Killings in Pakistan Opinion: are a cruel and harsh punishment Main Cause: caused by a patriarchal society that denies women their rights. Honor Killings in Pakistan are a cruel and harsh punishment caused by a patriarchal society that denies women their rights.

Your turn… Write your topic sentence in your outline. Topic: Opinion: Main Cause: Topic sentence:

Supporting Details Gives a statement supporting the topic sentence. Contains FACTS, DETAILS, EXAMPLES, and STATISTICS from your RESEARCH that make your subtopics strong and valid. Use INTERNAL CITATIONS also known as parenthetical citations. Usually 2-3 details per paragraph

Sample Supporting Details & Parenthetical Citations Detail #1 (Background/Cause): In Pakistan today, women are thought of as the property of men. Women also represent the family’s honor. If a woman acts of her own will and either has sex outside of marriage or marries someone of her own will, she will have dishonored the family (Mayell 2002). Detail #2 (Background/Cause): A local tribe, known as jirgas, decides if the woman is dishonorable and declares the woman ‘kari,’ which literally means ‘black female’ or ‘tainted woman’ (Nosheen and Schellmann). Detail #3 (Background/Cause): In order to restore the family’s honor, the family or the tribe must kill these women (Mayell).

Honor Killings are a cruel and harsh punishment caused by a patriarchal society that denies women their rights. In parts of Pakistan today, women are thought of as property of men. Women also represent the family’s honor. If a woman acts of her own will and either has sex outside of marriage or marries someone of her own will, she will have dishonored the family (Mayell). A local tribe, known as jirgas, decides if the woman is dishonorable and declares the woman ‘kari,’ which literally means ‘black female’ or ‘tainted woman’ (Nosheen and Schellmann). In order to restore the family’s honor, the family or the tribe must kill these women (Mayell). Topic sent. + 3 supporting details

Remember this? Topic Sentence Supporting Detail Commentary Supporting Detail Commentary (Optional) Supporting Detail Commentary Closing Sentence

Commentary Gives explanation of supporting detail. Connects your supporting detail to your topic sentence by explaining the connection. One or two commentary per supporting detail. Goes directly after its supporting detail.

Sample Commentary Detail #1: Women should have equal rights as men and should not be viewed as property. Detail #2: The jirga is made up of male leaders who are already biased against women and dictate their fate. Detail #3: Killing a woman for these reasons is an extreme punishment. In fact, a woman should not have to die just for the sake of the family’s honor.

Topic Sent. + Details & Citation + Commentary Honor Killings are a cruel and harsh punishment caused by a patriarchal society that denies women their rights. In parts of Pakistan today, women are thought of as property of men. Women also represent the family’s honor. Therefore, if a woman acts of her own will and either has sex outside of marriage or marries someone of her own will, she will have dishonored the family (Mayell 2002). However, women should have equal rights as men and should not be viewed as property. Next, a local tribe, known as jirgas, decides if the woman is dishonorable and declares the woman ‘kari,’ which literally means ‘black female’ or ‘tainted woman’ (Nosheen and Schellmann 2011). The jirga is made up of male leaders who are already biased against women and dictate their fate. In order to restore the family’s honor, the tribe must kill these women (Mayell 2002). Killing a woman for these reasons is an extreme punishment. A woman should not have to die just for the sake of the family’s honor.

Closing Sentence Last sentence of each body paragraph. Restates Topic Sentence. Gives the audience a clinching thought for the paragraph.

Sample Closing Sentence Honor killings are an inhumane form of punishment dictated by a male-dominated society that denies women their essential rights. Here is the original topic sentence; same but different: Honor Killings are a cruel and harsh punishment caused by a patriarchal society that denies women their rights.

Put it ALL together… Honor Killings are a cruel and harsh punishment caused by a patriarchal society that denies women their rights. In parts of Pakistan today, women are thought of as property of men. Women also represent the family’s honor. If a woman acts of her own will and either has sex outside of marriage or marries someone of her own will, she will have dishonored the family (Mayell). However, women are human beings who should have equal rights as men and should not be viewed as property. Next, a local tribe, known as jirgas, decides if the woman is dishonorable and declares the woman ‘kari,’ which literally means ‘black female’ or ‘tainted woman’ (Nosheen and Schellmann). The jirga is made up of male leaders who are already biased against women and dictate their fate In order to restore the family’s honor, the tribe must kill these women (MayellI have ). Killing a woman for these reasons is an extreme punishment. A woman should not have to die just for the sake of a family’s honor. Honor killings are an inhumane form of punishment dictated by a male-dominated society that denies women their essential rights.

Don’t forget: Body Paragraph Topic Sentence Supporting Detail Commentary Supporting Detail Commentary (Optional) Supporting Detail Commentary Closing Sentence

Now, it’s your turn… Pick 2-3 significant details 1. Read through your Background notes and pick significant details that best explain your issue. Sometimes these details can be combined with another related detail from the same source. 2. Write them into your essay outline. If you need more space, use filler paper.

Add Parenthetical Citations 1. For each detail, cite the source in parenthesis. 2. Use your citation handout to figure out the format. It’s either going to be… 1. (Author pg#) or just (Author) or 2. (“Title” pg#) or 3. (“Title”)

Add Commentary 1. For each detail, add a commentary. Elaborate (explain) further on the detail, or Explain or show how the detail relates to your topic sentence.

Write a Concluding Sentence Rewrite your topic sentence so that it includes the main point but said in a different way.

Complete Subtopic #1 outline Essay outline for Subtopic #1 is due Monday = 10 pts.

Subtopic #2: Effects (How does this problem affect those involved? How does it violate a human rights issue?) Sample Topic Sentence Focus on two strong details from your notes: 1) Hundreds of female deaths a year 2) Violence against women Topic sentence: Honor killings result in hundreds of female deaths a year and violence against women.

Practice Child labor results in 1) health problems in children 2) denial of right to education. Topic sentence: Child labor on farms results in health problems in children and the denial of a right to education.

Again Forced Marriages result in 1) 2) Topic sentence:

Your Turn 1. Highlight Subtopic 2: Effects in your notes. 2. Choose 2 or 3 details that clearly show the effects of the problem. 3. You may need to combine it with another related detail. 4. Put a * next to those 2-3 details to focus on and write it into your outline.

Writing your Topic Sentence for Subtopic #2: Effects Detail #1: 1. Detail #2: 2. Detail #3 (optional): Write your topic sentence onto your outline: (the issue) results in __________ and________.

Sample Detail #1 Topic sentence: Honor killings result in (1) hundreds of female deaths a year and extreme violence against women. Detail #1: According to a report by the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan in 2009, “Roughly 46 percent of all female murders in Pakistan were in the name of ‘honor,’” which amounts to a total of 647 incidents of honor killings that year (Nosheen and Schellmann). Experts say the actual number of honor killings is much higher, but they are reported as suicides (Nosheen and Schellmann). Commentary: This is an extreme number of women being killed for the sake of honor. Note: The commentary should show how the detail relates or supports the topic sentence.

Sample Detail #2 Topic sentence: Honor killings result in hundreds of female deaths a year and extreme violence against women. Detail #2:In 2010, 791 cases of honor killings were reported due to illicit sexual relations or marrying without their family’s consent (Siddique). Most recently, there were 675 incidents last year between the months of January to September 2011 (Siddique). Commentary: That number is sure to have increased by December of last year. The rate of honor killings seems to be increasing.U.S. Note: The commentary should show how the detail relates or supports the topic sentence.

Sample Detail #3 Topic sentence: Honor killings result in hundreds of female deaths a year and extreme violence against women. Detail #3: The numbers do not tell the horrible fate these women suffer. One case is that of a husband who slit his wife’s throat in the town square because a love ballad had been dedicated to her over the radio (Mayell). Another is that of a woman who was killed because her husband had a dream that she had cheated on him, so he murdered her (Mayell). Commentary: These examples show how women are subjected to acts of violence that are unjustified.

Sample Concluding Sentence This shows how honor killings result in violence and the countless deaths of women in Pakistan.

Subtopic #2: Effects paragraph Honor killings result in hundreds of female deaths a year and extreme violence against women. According to a report by the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan in 2009, “Roughly 46 percent of all female murders in Pakistan were in the name of ‘honor,’” which amounts to a total of 647 incidents of honor killings that year (Nosheen and Schellmann). Experts say the actual number of honor killings is much higher, but they are reported as suicides. This is an extreme number of women being killed for the sake of honor. Furthermore, in 2010, 791 cases of honor killings were reported due to illicit sexual relations or marrying without their family’s consent (Siddique). Most recently, there were 675 incidents last year between the 9 months of January to September 2011 (Siddique). That number is sure to have increased by December of last year. The rate of honor killings seems to be increasing. The numbers do not tell the horrible fate these women suffer. One case is that of a husband who slit his wife’s throat in the town square because a love ballad had been dedicated to her over the radio (Mayell). Another is that of a woman who was in her lawyer’s office seeking a divorce when her mother showed up with a man who shot her daughter (Mayell). These examples show how the women are subjected to acts of violence or are killed, all in the name of ‘honor.’ Therefore, honor killings result in violence and the countless deaths of women in Pakistan.

Your Turn… Complete outline for Subtopic #2 due tomorrow = 10 pts.

Subtopic #3: Solutions 1.Highlight Subtopic 3: Solutions in your notes. 2.Choose 2 or 3 details that clearly show the solutions to the problem. 3.You may need to combine it with another related detail. 4.Put a * next to those 2-3 details to focus on. 5.Write it into your web outline in green packet.

Subtopic #3: Solutions Topic Sentence Let’s practice: Topic: Child Slavery in Africa Solution(s): 1) stricter laws 2) Topic sentence:

Practice again… Topic: forced marriage Solution(s): 1) 2) Topic sentence:

Sample topic sentence: Topic: honor killings Solution(s): 1) Government and police need to enforce laws 2) victims and citizens need to protest these incidences 3) need more media attention Topic sentence: Some solutions to ending honor killings are enforcing stricter laws, protesting cultural practices, and creating more media attention.

Your Turn… Topic: Solution(s): 1) 2) Topic sentence:

Sample Detail #1 Topic sentence: Some solutions to ending honor killings are enforcing stricter laws, protesting cultural practices, and creating more media attention. Detail #1: In Pakistan honor killings are considered a form of domestic violence and are not treated seriously. Therefore, police and local prosecutors need to be "convinced" to take these crimes seriously (Mayell). One way to do this is for countries like Pakistan to "bring their penal codes up to international standards“ (Mayell). In fact, in December of last year, Pakistan did pass new laws to severely punish criminals who were violent toward women, and cultural practices such as forced marriage were banned (Siddique). Commentary: By bringing their codes up to higher standards, the punishment for those involved in honor killings would be stricter and would prevent more deaths from occurring. However, it remains to be seen whether or not the government will actually enforce these new laws.

Sample Detail #2 Topic sentence: Some solutions to ending honor killings are enforcing stricter laws, protesting cultural practices, and creating more media attention. Detail #2: Another way to end honor killings is for the victims and the victims' families to fight against these cultural practices. For example, Kainat Soomro is an example of a victim who was gang-raped and then slated to die (Nosheen and Schellmann). However, her family refused to kill her, and instead, as of December 2011 they are fighting to have her case heard in the Supreme Court of Pakistan (Nosheen and Schellmann). Commentary: Though standing up to these cultural norms is risky, Kainat and her family are making their voices heard and setting an example for others to follow.

Sample Detail #3 Topic sentence: Some solutions to ending honor killings are enforcing stricter laws, protesting cultural practices, and creating more media attention. Detail #3: Lastly, highlighting the problem of honor killings as a human rights violation in the international media will bring more attention to the issue. Global attention will put pressure on Pakistan to protect its citizens - men and women (Mayell). As Mayell reported, "Change can't happen if it's just people working inside the system...International campaigns give them the ability to say, 'Look, the world is watching what is going on here,' and provides support for making change in their own countries." Commentary: Hopefully, Pakistan will give in to the media pressure and end honor killings soon.

Whew! Are you ready? Let’s put it all together! Some solutions to ending honor killings are enforcing stricter laws, protesting cultural practices, and creating more media attention. In Pakistan honor killings are considered a form of domestic violence and are not treated seriously. Therefore, police and local prosecutors need to be "convinced" to take these crimes seriously (Mayell). One way to do this is for countries like Pakistan to "bring their penal codes up to international standards“ (Mayell). In fact, in December of last year, Pakistan did pass new laws to severely punish criminals who were violent toward women, and cultural practices such as forced marriage were banned (Siddique). By bringing their codes up to higher standards, the punishment for those involved in honor killings would be stricter and would prevent more deaths from occurring. However, it remains to be seen whether or not the government will actually enforce these new laws. Another way to end honor killings is for the victims and the victims' families to fight against these cultural practices. For example, Kainat Soomro is an example of a victim who was gang-raped and then slated to die (Nosheen and Schellmann). However, her family refused to kill her, and instead, as of December 2011 they are fighting to have her case heard in the Supreme Court of Pakistan (Nosheen and Schellmann). Though standing up to these cultural norms is risky, Kainat and her family are making their voices heard and setting an example for others to follow. Lastly, highlighting the problem of honor killings as a human rights violation in the international media will bring more attention to the issue. Global attention will put pressure on Pakistan to protect its citizens - men and women (Mayell). As Mayell reported, "Change can't happen if it's just people working inside the system...International campaigns give them the ability to say, 'Look, the world is watching what is going on here,' and provides support for making change in their own countries.“ Hopefully, Pakistan will give in to the media pressure and end honor killings soon.

Aargh! Forgot the concluding sentence! Original one: Some solutions to ending honor killings are enforcing stricter laws, protesting cultural practices, and creating more media attention. Reword and reorder it a bit: Enforcing stricter laws, protesting social norms, and highlighting the problem in a global arena will hopefully put an end to honor kilings.

Ok, we are now done with the Body!! Some solutions to ending honor killings are enforcing stricter laws, protesting cultural practices, and creating more media attention. In Pakistan honor killings are considered a form of domestic violence and are not treated seriously. Therefore, police and local prosecutors need to be "convinced" to take these crimes seriously (Mayell). One way to do this is for countries like Pakistan to "bring their penal codes up to international standards“ (Mayell). In fact, in December of last year, Pakistan did pass new laws to severely punish criminals who were violent toward women, and cultural practices such as forced marriage were banned (Siddique). By bringing their codes up to higher standards, the punishment for those involved in honor killings would be stricter and would prevent more deaths from occurring. However, it remains to be seen whether or not the government will actually enforce these new laws. Another way to end honor killings is for the victims and the victims' families to fight against these cultural practices. For example, Kainat Soomro is an example of a victim who was gang-raped and then slated to die (Nosheen and Schellmann). However, her family refused to kill her, and instead, as of December 2011 they are fighting to have her case heard in the Supreme Court of Pakistan (Nosheen and Schellmann). Though standing up to these cultural norms is risky, Kainat and her family are making their voices heard and setting an example for others to follow. Lastly, highlighting the problem of honor killings as a human rights violation in the international media will bring more attention to the issue. Global attention will put pressure on Pakistan to protect its citizens - men and women (Mayell). As Mayell reported, "Change can't happen if it's just people working inside the system...International campaigns give them the ability to say, 'Look, the world is watching what is going on here,' and provides support for making change in their own countries.“ Hopefully, Pakistan will give in to the media pressure and end honor killings soon. Enforcing stricter laws, protesting social norms, and highlighting the problem in a global arena will hopefully put an end to honor killings.

Your Turn… Complete outline for Subtopic #3 due tomorrow = 10 pts. Before you leave, you need to complete: Topic sentence 2 details & Commentary