Sociology 1201 Marital separation and divorce Is marriage: 1. a voluntary contract that can be ended by either partner; 2. a lifetime commitment “til death do us part?” (How did the women in Promises I Can Keep see it?) Gallup poll: “Do you believe that an unhappy marriage should be maintained for the sake of the children?”

Sociology 1201 Divorce: Trends and Comparisons U.S. Rates (why measure divorce this way?) U.S. Rates (why measure divorce this way?) 1960: 9 per 1000 married women 1960: 9 per 1000 married women 1970: : : : : : : : : : 16

Sociology 1201 Why the rapid increase? Legal changes: “no fault marriage” Legal changes: “no fault marriage” Changing expectations: “best friend” Changing expectations: “best friend” Cultural emphasis: self-fulfillment (Functionalism and institutions—does happiness matter to society?) Cultural emphasis: self-fulfillment (Functionalism and institutions—does happiness matter to society?) Women’s employment trends Women’s employment trends Men’s employment trends Men’s employment trends

Sociology 1201 Correlates of Divorce Family income Family income Education Education Race/ethnicity Race/ethnicity Age at first marriage! Age at first marriage! Who initiates divorce? 2/3-3/4 initiated by the wife? Ideas about why?

Our class: divorce/split No divorce/split/death65(69%) Divorce/split when you were under 6 11(12%) Divorce/split when you were 6-129(10%) Divorce/split during teen years6 (6%) Died during your childhood or teen yrs3(3%) Sociology 1201

Our class/parents remarry? Parents remarry? Who had custody? Maintained close connection with? Mother71512 Father900 Both81117 Sociology 1201

Should the laws be changed to make divorce more difficult? The General Social Survey The General Social Survey Divkids, divnow, divifkid, divlaw

Sociology 1201 How serious are the issues that usually precipitate a divorce? Arlene Skolnick: “Grounds for Marriage”, from Family in Transition, Longitudinal study of couples over a 24 year period. Each spouse was interviewed in 1958(age 30 or 37) and again in 1970 and 1982 Each spouse was interviewed in 1958(age 30 or 37) and again in 1970 and 1982 …“most striking impression from following these marriages through long periods of time is the great potential for change in human relationships.” …“most striking impression from following these marriages through long periods of time is the great potential for change in human relationships.” Almost 1/3 divorced but “many unhappy couples remained married long enough to outgrow their earlier difficulties.” Almost 1/3 divorced but “many unhappy couples remained married long enough to outgrow their earlier difficulties.”

Sociology 1201 Robert Weis: Marital Separation, 1977 Research basis: Seminar for the separated at Harvard Research basis: Seminar for the separated at Harvard Common Themes: wrong from the start, wanting different things, serious failings in spouse (including mental illness), sexual infidelity Common Themes: wrong from the start, wanting different things, serious failings in spouse (including mental illness), sexual infidelity Impact on self (symbolic interaction) Impact on self (symbolic interaction) Betrayal and duplicity Betrayal and duplicity Direct attacks on self Direct attacks on self Obsessive review Obsessive review “Accounts” “Accounts”

Sociology 1201 Diane Vaughn, Uncoupling, 1986 Research basis: Interviews with 103 divorced or separated men or women Research basis: Interviews with 103 divorced or separated men or women Her own divorce: “Rather than an abrupt ending, ours appeared in retrospect to have been a gradual transition. Long before we physically separated, we had been separating socially—developing separate friends, experiences, and futures” Her own divorce: “Rather than an abrupt ending, ours appeared in retrospect to have been a gradual transition. Long before we physically separated, we had been separating socially—developing separate friends, experiences, and futures”

Sociology 1201 Vaughn: common patterns 1. Harboring secret unhappiness 1. Harboring secret unhappiness 2. Making the initial disclosure 2. Making the initial disclosure 3. Pursuing outside involvements 3. Pursuing outside involvements 4. Accentuating the negative 4. Accentuating the negative 5. Deciding to separate 5. Deciding to separate 6. Going public 6. Going public

Sociology 1201 Wallerstein and Blakeslee: Second Chances Began in 1971, with 60 families, including 131 children, aged 2-18 Began in 1971, with 60 families, including 131 children, aged 2-18 Recruited by advertisements in newspapers Recruited by advertisements in newspapers More educated, more affluent, more white than population as a whole More educated, more affluent, more white than population as a whole In early stages of divorce In early stages of divorce Common wisdom at the time: healthy people would work through this crisis in six months or a year and get on with their lives Common wisdom at the time: healthy people would work through this crisis in six months or a year and get on with their lives

Sociology 1201 Second Chances for Adults Few adults anticipate accurately how arduous and depleting divorce will be Few adults anticipate accurately how arduous and depleting divorce will be At five year point, half of men and 2/3 of women content with quality of their lives; but half of men and 1/3 of women felt stalled or even more unhappy than during failed marriage At five year point, half of men and 2/3 of women content with quality of their lives; but half of men and 1/3 of women felt stalled or even more unhappy than during failed marriage At ten-year point, half of women and 1/3 of men still intensely angry with ex-spouse At ten-year point, half of women and 1/3 of men still intensely angry with ex-spouse

Sociology 1201 Parents and kids Unlike most crises, many of these parents were unable to protect their kids first in this crisis. Unlike most crises, many of these parents were unable to protect their kids first in this crisis. By ten-year point, 60% of the children over 18 seemed to be on a downward trajectory (in terms of education and social class) compared with their fathers By ten-year point, 60% of the children over 18 seemed to be on a downward trajectory (in terms of education and social class) compared with their fathers

Sociology 1201 Kids at the ten-year point By 10-year point, many kids defining divorce as formative experience By 10-year point, many kids defining divorce as formative experience 35% reporting bad relationships with both their parents 35% reporting bad relationships with both their parents “Sleeper effect:” kids (especially girls) who seemed to be doing well at first but had a very hard time later… often “beset with anxieties about relationships” “Sleeper effect:” kids (especially girls) who seemed to be doing well at first but had a very hard time later… often “beset with anxieties about relationships”

Sociology 1201 Video: “Children of Divorce” Video: “Children of Divorce”