Communication Developing Interpersonal skills!

What are the Most Important principles of good interpersonal communication ? Dennis Rivers, M.A identifies Seven Challenging Skills for a lifetime of better communication in work, family, friendship & community.

Challenge One: Listening more carefully and more responsively Challenge One: Listening more carefully and more responsively  Acknowledge the feelings and wants that others are expressing -  Compassionately allow people to feel whatever they feel

Challenge Two: Explain my conversational intent &inviting consent Challenge Two: Explain my conversational intent &inviting consent  Use conversational openers such as, "Right now I would like to take a few minutes and ask you about... [subject].

Good communicators explain intent / inviting consent  Start important conversations by saying things such as:  “Hi, Steve. I need to ask for your help on my project. Got a minute to talk about it?“  “Uh...Maria, do you have a minute? Right now I'd like to talk to you about... Is that OK?"

Good Communicators Explain Intent / Inviting Consent Examples:  “Hello there, Mr. Sanchez. Say, uh...I'm not completely comfortable about this job. Can we talk about it for a few minutes?"  “Well, sit down for a minute and let me tell you what happened..."  "Hi, Jerry, this is Mike. How ya doin'? I want to talk to you about Fred. He's in jail again. Is this a good

Challenge Three EXPRESSING YOURSELF MORE CLEARLY & COMPLETELY  Give listeners the information they need to understand (mentally reconstruct) experiences.  Use "I-messages":

Challenge Four: Translating my criticisms and complaints into requests Challenge Four: Translating my criticisms and complaints into requests

Translating my criticisms and complaints into requests Translating my criticisms and complaints into requests  Translate your (and other people's) complaints and criticisms into specific requests, and explain your requests, in order to get more cooperation from others. “We criticize people for not giving us what we ourselves what we ourselves are afraid to ask for." are afraid to ask for."  Marshall Rosenberg

Challenge Five: Ask questions more "open-endedly" and more creatively. Challenge Five: Ask questions more "open-endedly" and more creatively.  You can encourage your conversation partners to share more of their thoughts and feelings by asking "open-ended" rather than "yes/no" questions

Challenge Five: Ask questions more "open-endedly" and more creatively. Challenge Five: Ask questions more "open-endedly" and more creatively.  For example, asking "How did you like that food/movie/speech/doctor, etc.?" will evoke a more detailed response than "Did you like it?" (which could be answered with a simple "yes" or "no").

ChallengeSix EXPRESSING MORE APPRECIATION, GRATITUDE, ENCOURAGEMENT AND DELIGHT

In a world full of problems, look for opportunities to give praise. Both at home & at work, it is the bond of appreciation that makes relationships strong enough to allow for problem-solving.

Challenge Seven: Making the effort...  Make better communication an important part of my everyday life...  Make better communication an important part of my everyday life...  See each conversation as an opportunity to grow in skill, awareness and compassion.

Practice Communication Skills

Words and Gestures  You can get your message across by what you do or say- with words, gestures, eye contact, posture, facial expression, tone of voice, action – and also by what you don’t do or say.

The Spoken Message: How it Comes Across

Communication Messages Classified As:  Verbal : Words (word meanings), Vocal (speech-tone of voice) OR  Non-Verbal :Body language (physical, facial expression and body position)

MIXED MESSAGES  Ideally, verbal and no-verbal messages should be saying the same thing. If words say one thing and body language another, it confuses the listener.  Sometimes mixed messages are intentional. When someone says something positive but deliberately sends a negative message, this is called Sarcasm.