1. Seek Significant God Encounter

10 Strategies for Leading Change Website for Study Guides:

8. Hold Difficult People Accountable.

Three Strategies 1.Set Ground Rules 2.Develop Behavioral Covenants 3.Face to Face Accountability

Ground Rules Listen to one another. Respect other points of view even if you disagree. Everyone participates. No one dominates. Note: For controversial or heated topics, consider setting a time limit.

Ground Rules, continued… You don't have to agree with everything you hear. Speak from your own experience. Ask questions of other participants. No one is an expert.

Congregational Behavior Covenants First, Do No Harm, Avoid Evil Second, Do Good of Every Possible Sort Third, Attend Upon the Ordinances of God

Congregational Covenants First, Do No Harm Create a list of behaviors and activities that the group agrees are negative, unproductive, and/or unacceptable. These are the things the group and/or congregation covenants together NOT to do, and to not tolerate or allow others to do unchallenged.

Congregational Covenants Do All the Good You Can Create a list of behaviors and activities that the group agrees build strong, healthy relationships and that they will work to develop and support. These are things that the group and/or congregation covenants together to intentionally DO.

Congregational Covenants Attend to the Ordinances of God Create a list of the behaviors and practices of the Christian faith that build positive feeling and help to strengthen the group and/or congregation, such as prayer, study, fellowship, service, etc. Be as specific as you can be about expectations.

Congregational Covenants Congregational/Operating covenants work best when written and explicit. They work best when they are created by those who will be bound by them. They work best when signed by all in the group/congregation. Many congregations find benefit in finding and listing Biblical passages that support and affirm the nature of the covenant.

Face to Face with Difficult People Are you the difficult person? How are your relationships with other people? Do you enjoy them? Do they enjoy you? Do people give in to you because you intimidate them? Who might you have a conversation with about this issue in your own live?

Face to Face with Difficult People When others are difficult Take someone with you when you must face a difficult person. Open the meeting time with prayer – include listening time as well as petition. Ask powerful questions that can help the person reflect on their own discipleship – How does this attitude reflect what you believe about God?

Face to Face with Difficult People Practice with a partner A Council member continues to disrupt the work of the church by sharing fearful statements that stop any progress for reaching new people. In a conversation, try to identify what is at the core of their fear and help them to commit to trying a new behavior.

Face to Face with Difficult People Practice with a partner – switch roles A church member is sharing an opinion that is causing other members to doubt the forward movement toward starting a new worship service. In a conversation with this member, find out what is behind their concern and help to paint a realistic picture of the church’s future. Find out how they can support this new effort.

Face to Face with Difficult People What are good questions to ask difficult people?

Answers What would Jesus do? Clarify the concern Find group activities to help groups get to know each other. Where have you experienced God outside worship? What are your concerns about that? How do you think someone else feels? Can we find other ways for you to be fed? What are other ways we can do this? Acknowledging what is good, what are other things that might appeal to other people? Who else will be affected?