Addendum to Chapter 10 Talking with Your Children about Sex

Sexual Learning is Lifelong Children learn about sexuality: family, friends, media, and the rest of general environment parent’s behavior and attitudes sex education in schools

Which parent should talk with the children? It is usually mothers, but both parents should open lines of communication Negative parental reactions = children who are less likely to open up or ask questions

Does telling children about sex lead them to have sex? Strong loving family relationships Much positive attention (including the quality of communication) Less likely to begin early age sexual behaviors See the connections ?

Why should I talk to my child about sex?

Personal Reflections Some day you will probably be a parent (if you are not one already). Do you plan to educate your children about sexuality? If so, how? When will you begin?

Will a single “birds and bees” talk suffice? Communication should be lifelong Waiting until age 10 or 11 is less effective than incorporating topic of sexuality into course of everyday conversation

When should I start talking with my child about sexuality? Share the names of their body parts Young children: Share about changes of puberty for both sexes before it begins Children: If children are curious enough to ask, answer! Any age:

What should I tell my children about AIDS and other STIs? Children hear about these topics and are naturally curious Questions and topics by age: School age: Ages 9 – 12: Teens: Scare tactics are not effective!

How detailed should sex discussions be? Children do not want “birds and bees” analogies; they want factual information in real terms Answers should be simple and age-appropriate Morality should not be substituted for factual information

What if I feel embarrassed? How should I talk with my child? Avoid scare tactics Allow your child input; be approachable and accepting Be honest and open Break ice by discussing sexually related matters that appear on TV

Personal Reflections How would you react if…  Your 5-yr-old asks where babies come from?  Your 9-yr-old asks what sex is?  Your 10-yr-old asks you what “French kissing” is?  Your 12-yr-old son came home from school saying that he had to watch a “gross” movie about girls having their period?  Your 15-yr-old son asked you about birth control?  Your 15-yr-old daughter asked you about birth control?

What about morals? Aren’t they important too? Parents who generally have good loving interactions with their children are more successful in transmitting values than parents who generally have poor interactions with their children This includes sexuality!

Can my behavior affect my child’s attitudes and behavior? Adult behavior influences child sexuality and moral values Reacting calmly and listening tells children that they can discuss anything with you

How do I know if I have been successful?  Success is related to _______. Fill in the blank.