WORD LEVEL THE MECHANICS OF STYLE FIRST YEAR SERIES WRITING CENTER UNIVERSITY OF NORTH FLORIDA

WORKSHOP OVERVIEW  What’s one thing that makes your writing clearer and less “wordy”?  What’s one way that we can be more responsible people?  Plain English Style with clear characters and actions  Avoid nominalizations.

GUIDED PRACTICE  In these sentences, the characters are underlined. Their verbs are in italics.  The carrying of food baskets through the woods to grandmother’s house has been affected by an encounter.  Escapes have been facilitated by the letting down of hair from the top of the tower.  Permission to attend the ball was granted, if completion of chores was implemented. But the unlikelihood of that occurrence successfully terminating was high.

GUIDED PRACTICE  In these sentences, the characters are underlined. Their verbs are in italics.  Little Red Riding Hood was skipping through the woods, carrying a basket of food to her grandmother, when suddenly a wolf jumped out from behind a tree.  Rapunzel let down her hair from the top of the tower, and the prince climbed up. Together, they planned an escape.  Cinderella’s stepmother promised that, if Cinderella finished all the chores, she could attend the ball. But the wicked stepmother gave her such a long list of tasks, Cinderella knew she would never be able to go.

GUIDED PRACTICE  Rewrite these sentences in Plain English Style, starting each one with a clear character and action:  In the United States, our variety of population is evidence of strong immigration, which in turn has created a heavy multicultural presence.  A lack of efficiency has been a key factor in how not just Americans but people from countries around the world see America as having an inadequate government.  In 2013, July 4 th spending resulted in around $2.4 billion for cookout spendings.

INDEPENDENT PRACTICE  Translate this car-recall notice into Plain English Style.  Start each sentence with the right character and action. Your vehicle may require adjustment service to the hood secondary catch system. This catch may be misaligned, so that the hood may not be adequately restrained to prevent hood fly-up. Sudden hood fly-up beyond the secondary catch while driving could impair driver visibility. Occurrence of the above could result in vehicle crash without prior warning.

WORKSHOP SUMMARY  Don’t sound smart. Be clear.  Identify the key characters in your story. Put them at the front of the sentence. Couple them to verbs.  Readers look for this information at the front of your sentence. If it’s not there, they get confused.  Use human characters if you’re telling a story about people. In a science report, the main character might be “neodymium” or “carbon dioxide.” It still needs to be at the front of the sentence.  In some science writing, you are asked to use passive verbs. They still go at the front of the sentence.