Relationships FONTBONNE UNIVERSITY FINANCIAL LITERACY AND DEFAULT PREVENTION FACILITATED BY JAMES “VINNY” VINCENT ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR, FINANCIAL LITERACY LIAISON

Communication is K.E.Y.  K now the players in the relationship and know the expectations they have of you.  E xpress your expectations and continuously evaluate how all of the players in the relationship are being upheld to those expectations.  Y earn for growth and achievement, but also expect there to be pitfalls. Not every relationship is 100% successful 100% of the time. Recognize this fact, but still yearn for improvement and success. Find the balance between being an “optimist” and a “realist” – yearn for optimum reality

Tips for Talking about Money Act like a single financial unit Establish S.M.A.R.T. goals together Discuss money while exercising Don’t assume your way is the right way Hold financial summits Confess to any money mistakes you have made Don’t lay blame, look for ways to take action instead Share your attitudes and behaviors towards money with your partner

S.M.A.R.T. Goals Specific Detailed Specific An outsider would easily be able to see what you want to do Measurable Emphasize how much Be direct with what you are exactly wanting to save/reach Achievable Is the goal realistic? Are you setting yourself up for failure? “I can do this.” Relevant Must be relevant to you Needs to be your goal and no one else’s Time Framed Dictates how much you need to save Holds you accountable Allows you to move onto more goals

Building Strong Relationships Create an atmosphere of belonging Express an interest in your partner Build a positive self-image Reinforce positive behavior decisively Use relevant personal experiences/feelings Ease tension through humor Decode negative behavior into feelings Develop routines and traditions that acknowledge your partner. Learn as much as you can about your partner. Then treat and celebrate your partner as an individual. Be nearby and willing to help. Notice your partner. Acknowledge his/her strengths and help them to understand which behaviors get in the way of the relationship Show that you are paying attention by offering honest, specific praise and feedback. Point out attitudes that reinforce good values. Share your story; your strengths and weaknesses. Admit when you’ve made mistakes; don’t hesitate to apologize. Share your strategies. Seeing humor in a stressful situation will offer your partner an opportunity to “save face”. Use friendly humor – not sarcasm, teasing or ridicule. Many people to no talk about their feelings when stressed. Instead, they act out. Read actions or body language. Model positive emotions.

Tips for Fighting about Money Focus on the root cause Don’t argue just to win Address issues as they occur Fight only about the particular money issue at hand Fight for the truth Fight for your relationship, not against it

Tips for Paying Bills Paying the bills is a bookkeeping chore only Not to be used as a position of power Who is good at what? Paying the bills is not the same as spending the money Spending the money should be done by both of you Switch the bill paying chore from time to time Balance independence “Share the load” Accountability Managing money is a shared responsibility Communication is key Divide and conquer

Seminar Activity  For this activity you will need the assistance of a family member.  Step 1: Discuss the following topic with your family member:  “How has money shaped our country’s education system?”  Step 2: You and your family member each need to complete a Full Value Contract (FVC) – see Full Value Contract (FVC) handout

Questions?  Contact James “Vinny” Vincent    Office Hours: Monday thru Friday (8:30am-4:30pm)  Lunch taken daily from 12:30pm – 1:30pm