Improving Communication Climates CHAPTER TOPICS Communication Climate and Confirming Messages Defensiveness: Causes and Remedies Saving Face

Communication Climate and Confirming Messages Refers to the emotional tone of a relationship Levels of Message Confirmation Confirming communication Describes messages that convey valuing Disconfirming Communication Describes messages that show a lack of regard

Communication Climate and Confirming Messages Disconfirming Messages Impervious Responses Doesn’t acknowledge the other person’s message Interrupting Beginning to speak before the other person has finished Irrelevant Responses A comment unrelated to what the other person has just said

Communication Climate and Confirming Messages Disconfirming Messages Tangential Responses Impersonal Responses Ambiguous Responses Incongruous Responses Contains two messages that deny or contradict each other See page 314.

Communication Climate and Confirming Messages Disagreeing Messages Aggressiveness Complaining Argumentativeness

Communication Climate and Confirming Messages Recognition Acknowledgement Endorsement

Communication Climate and Confirming Messages How Communication Climates Develop When two people start to communicate, a relational climate begins to develop Verbal and nonverbal communication can be climate-shaping After a climate is formed, it can take on a life of its own and become a self-perpetuating spiral

Communication Climate and Confirming Messages Spirals A reciprocating communication pattern in which each person’s message reinforces the others Escalatory conflict spirals De-escalatory conflict spirals Rarely go on indefinitely Most relationships pass through cycles of progression and regression

Defensiveness: Causes and Remedies Face-Threatening Acts Messages that seem to challenge the image we want to project Defensiveness becomes the process of protecting our presenting self, our face Preventing Defensiveness in Others Jack Gibb isolated six types of defense-arousing communication and six contrasting behaviors

Defensiveness: Causes and Remedies The Gibb Categories of Defensive and Supportive Behaviors Defensive Behaviors Supportive Behaviors 1. Evaluation 1. Description 2. Control 2. Problem Orientation 3. Strategy 3. Spontaneity 4. Neutrality 4. Empathy 5. Superiority 5. Equality 6. Certainty 6. Provisionalism Table 10.3

Defensiveness: Causes and Remedies Gibb Categories Evaluation versus Description Control versus Problem Orientation Strategy versus Spontaneity Neutrality versus Empathy Superiority versus Equality Certainty versus Provisionalism

Saving Face The Assertive Message Format The five parts of the assertive message Behavior Interpretation Feeling Consequence Intention

Saving Face The Assertive Message Format Behavior Describes the raw material to which you react Description should be objective

Saving Face The Assertive Message Format Interpretation Describes the meaning you’ve attached to the other person’s behavior Important to realize is that interpretations are subjective Problems occur when sender fails to describe behavior on which interpretation is based

Saving Face The Assertive Message Format Feeling Adds a new dimension to a message Some statements seem as if they’re expressing feeling but are actually expressing interpretations or statements of intention

Saving Face The Assertive Message Format Consequence Valuable Explains what happens as a result of the situation you’ve described What happens to you, the speaker What happens to the person you’re addressing What happens to others Valuable Help you understand more clearly Can be sure you or your message leaves nothing to listener’s imagination

Saving Face The Assertive Message Format Intention Can communicate three kinds of messages Where you stand on an issue Requests of others Descriptions of how you plan to act in the future

Saving Face Using the Assertive Message Format The elements may be delivered in mixed order Word the message to suit your personal style When appropriate, combine two elements in a single phrase Take your time delivering the message

Saving Face Responding Nondefensively to Criticism Seek more information Ask for specifics Guess about specifics Paraphrase the speaker’s ideas Ask what the critic wants Ask about the consequences of your behavior Ask what else is wrong Acitivity on page 331. Do as a class in groups or as a class discussion.

Saving Face Responding Nondefensively to Criticism Agree with the critic Agree with the facts Agree with the critic's perception

Chapter Review Communication Climate and Confirming Messages Defensiveness: Causes and Remedies Saving Face