Shaping Long sentences

 Definition of long sentence – more than 20 words  They are necessary for complex ideas (as necessary as short sentences are for emphasis)  Considering shape is one way to help you revise long sentences so they are clear.

 Identify sentences longer then two lines (Williams suggests slashes)  Read aloud, asking yourself if It takes too long to get to the main verb After the verb there is a sprawl of subordinate clauses You stumble over interruptions If yes, revise.

 Get to simple subject quickly  Get to main verb and object quickly

 Try moving a long introductory clause to the end or turning it into a sentence of its own.  If, since, when, although clauses go, by convention, at the beginning of the sentence. If you use these clauses keep them short.  Exception - piling on introductory clauses can add suspense.

 Keep whole subjects short  Avoid interrupting subject verb connection  Avoid interrupting verb object connection

Some dogs, because they were abused, bite.

We must develop, if we are to become competitive with other companies, a core knowledge regarding the state of the art in effective industrial organizations. (exception - unless the interruption is shorter than the object)

 Begin with the subject  Make the subject short, concrete, and already known to readers (ideally characters, ideally the topic of the sentence)  Put a verb directly after it  Make that verb communicate a specific action

 Turn subordinate clauses into sentences (ultimately, make two or more shorter sentences)  Change clauses to modifying phrases  Coordinate

 At the end of long sentences (after main verb and object), don’t add a one phrase or clause after another. Particularly avoid tacking one relative clause onto another. Try extending the line of a sentence with resumptive, summative,and free modifiers.

 Resumptive modifiers repeat the noun, adjective, or verb Since writers often use resumptive modifiers to extend a line of thought, we need a word to name what I am about to do in this sentence, a sentence that I could have ended at the comma but that I extended to show you how resumptive modifiers work.

 Resumptive modifiers repeat the noun, adjective, or verb It was American writers who found a voice that was both true and lyrical, true to the rhythms of the workings man’s speech and lyrical in its celebration of his labor.

 Summative modifiers repeat the entire idea Economic changes have reduced Russian population to less then zero, a demographic event that will have serious social implications

 Rather than repeat a key word or an entire idea, free modifiers comment on the subject of the nearest verb. They are “free” because they can begin or end a sentence. Cars are key to suburban life, offering citizens both mobility and security. De Vinci was a man of powerful intellect, driven by curiosity and haunted by perfection We began to assist German, aware we faced war.

 Link clauses at the end of the sentence through coordination (and, or)  Put shorter elements first  Make coordinated elements parallel (108)