+ Word Choice and Sentence Fluency

+ Word Choice Improving word choice in persuasive paper can help readers better understand your point and ultimately get you a higher score. To improve word choice means to use more descriptive language that paints a picture for the reader.

+ Word Choice example Read the following paragraph. The big bear stood by the water. He looked at his shadow in the big lake. He thought that he looked nice. He went to take a drink of water. A fish went by. The bear wanted to eat the big fish. He ate up the fish and went away.biglookedbignicewenteat bigatewent

+ Haikus From a bathing tub I throw water into the lake - slight muddiness appears. First autumn morning: the mirror I stare into shows my father's face. Kawahigashi, HekigodoMurakami, Kijo

+ Faceless, just numbered. Lone pixel in the bitmap- I, anonymous. Looking at the clouds blue in the ice-wind space flows Chris SpruckThomas Grieg

+ Writing our own! Write your own haiku! Homework: Finish the haiku and put it on a piece of construction paper. Decorate it so it can be hung in the classroom.

+ Sentence Fluency

+ Let’s look at some sentences we can improve fluency on! My horse is white. He has one blue eye and one brown eye. He is friendly. He likes when we brush him. He snuggles his nose into us when we brush him. He is fun to ride. He is my horse and I am glad.

+ One way to fix it. My friendly horse, Flash, has one blue eye and one brown eye. This majestic white creature loves when I brush his soft coat. I can tell because he snuggles his nose into me and whinnies. He also loves to race through the corn fields behind our barn. Whoosh! Flash gallops through the stalks like a Nascar racer flying around a speedway. I clutch his mane and shriek with laughter. He is a wonderful horse!

+ Student Paper Example Thirdly, we pay celebrities a ridiculous amount of money, sometimes for something they aren’t even doing. So many singers out there are only famous for the technology that makes their voices sound decent. Without all the corrective technology, they would sound awful. There are also many unnoticed people out there with extremely beautiful voices, but are not getting credit for anything. People are getting paid big bucks, and it’s unfair, when they’re only getting paid for the technology their producer uses. Actors lack talent, but get parts because of who they know. Then, consumers go out and spend their money to watch them. That’s unfair with there’s amazing, undiscovered talent all over the streets, not being paid a single red cent.