Before the Bell & MOY Instructions ▪Phones need to go in the cell hotel! ▪Grab your GradeCam sheet and sit in your assigned seat. You should know your seat number by now. ▪Make sure you have a writing utensil sharpened and ready to go. ▪You will be doing two reading sections today of the MOY. They are paired selections and there is a short answer that goes with them. You can draft your short answer on scratch paper, but make sure you write the final draft on the back of your grade came sheet.

If you finish the MOY early, do these things! ▪Get out your essay. Choose your best paragraph to revise. (The one that has the best example would work best for this activity). On the “Paragraph Overhaul” sheet, write each sentence separately where it says, “original.” Do not correct it yet. We’ll do that together. Just write it as is on the sheet. Then read chapter 17 of A Long Way Gone. This chapter may be for homework if we do not have time for it today. So, if you’re done early, read please!

Paragraph Overhaul! ▪Today we will be looking at your essays for grammar, sentence structure and style. We are going to do what’s called a “paragraph overhaul” and it’s a step by step process. I know many of you also had content issues, you can address those later. For now, I want you to make sure everything is grammatically correct.

Step One: Listing your sentences! ▪Choose one of the body paragraphs for your essay. I would pick the best one or the one that contains an example you’re going to keep on your rewrite. Below is a student sample that I am going to use. ▪Then number your sentences and write them separately in a list. Before the 1860's, slavery in America was both legal and justified, but Abraham Lincoln saw that slavery was wrong and decided to interfere before it got worse. 1 In 1860, the Civil War began over different opinions between the North and South, with the biggest being slavery. 2 In 1863 after the Battle of Gettysburg, Lincoln gave his Gettysburg Addres, freeing all slaves, but the South didn't like the idea of slavery being abolished and fighting went on for an additional two years, until the war finally ended and slaves were required to be freed. 3 Without the interference of Abraham Lincoln, one of the worst things to happen in American History, slavery, wouldn't have been abolished. 4

It will look something like this… 1.Before the 1860's, slavery in America was both legal and justified, but Abraham Lincoln saw that slavery was wrong and decided to interfere before it got worse. 2.In 1860, the Civil War began over different opinions between the North and South, with the biggest being slavery. 3.In 1863 after the Battle of Gettysburg, Lincoln gave his Gettysburg Addres, freeing all slaves, but the South didn't like the idea of slavery being abolished and fighting went on for an additional two years, until the war finally ended and slaves were required to be freed. 4.Without the interference of Abraham Lincoln, one of the worst things to happen in American History, slavery, wouldn't have been abolished.

Now, we’re going to look at each sentence on it’s own…Do this for each of your sentences. ▪Is this a complete sentence? (How do we know?) ▪Is it more than one thought? (How many nouns? How many verbs?) ▪If so, how are the thoughts joined? (Is it an opener, interrupter, or compound sentence? Should it be? Are the commas in the right place ▪Can we make it sound any better? (Read it out loud) ▪Are we using proper spelling, punctuation and other conventions? ▪Sample Sentence: In 1860, the Civil War began over different opinions between the North and South, with the biggest being slavery. (This looks pretty good, but can we make it better?)

Before the 1860's, slavery in America was both legal and justified, but Abraham Lincoln saw that slavery was wrong and decided to interfere before it got worse. Rewrite #1: In America, before the 1860’s, slavery was perfectly legal, but Abraham Lincoln thought that it was wrong and decided to interfere to end this injustice. Rewrite #2: In Pre-Civil War America, slavery was defended by both law and public opinion. However, Abraham Lincoln recognized the moral depravity inherent to that institution and decided to intervene.

In 1860, the Civil War began over different opinions between the North and South, with the biggest being slavery. Rewrite #1: As a result, the Civil War broke out in 1860 between the Northern and Southern states, primarily over the divisive issue of slavery.

In 1863 after the Battle of Gettysburg, Lincoln gave his Gettysburg Addres, freeing all slaves, but the South didn't like the idea of slavery being abolished and fighting went on for an additional two years, until the war finally ended and slaves were required to be freed. Rewrite: #1 After the Battle of Gettysburg in 1863, Lincoln gave his famous address where he freed all slaves. However, the South opposed the abolishment of slavery and fighting went on for an additional two years until the war ended and the slaves were freed. Rewrite #2: The conflict culminated in Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, wherein he declared all slaves free. However, the South opposed the abolishment of slavery and fighting went on for an additional two years until the war ended and the slaves were freed.

Without the interference of Abraham Lincoln, one of the worst things to happen in American History, slavery, wouldn't have been abolished Rewrite #1: If Abraham Lincoln hadn’t interfered on this issue, one of the worst atrocities in American history, slavery, would not have come to an end. Rewrite #2: Thus, the intervention of Abraham Lincoln put to death one of the most morally repugnant enterprises in American History.

After you’ve “interrogated” each of your sentences, rewrite the revised sentences in a list.

Now, put it back into a paragraph. ▪Make sure it all flows together. Read it and make sure it sound cohesive and check to make sure you have some variety in your sentence structures. ▪Sample: In America, before the 1860’s, slavery was perfectly legal, but Abraham Lincoln thought that it was morally wrong and decided to interfere to end this gross injustice. The Civil War began in 1860 between the Northern and Southern states over their differing opinions, the most divisive being slavery, on various economical issues. After the Battle of Gettysburg in 1863, Lincoln gave his famous address where he freed all slaves, however, the South opposed the abolishment and fighting went on for an additional two years until finally the war ended and the slaves were freed. If Abraham Lincoln hadn’t interfered on this issue, one of the worst atrocities in American history, slavery, would not have come to an end.

A Long Way Gone Chapter 17 ▪Highlight for theme, literary devices and vocab. You will need to complete the 16 & 17 handout before next class!