Grammar RainbowGrammar Rainbow With grateful thanks to Mrs Fowler for leading our learning. Whole School Wow Morning

Improving our Writing Mrs Fowler recently went on our course to learn new ideas to help us with our writing. She decided to teach all the children and the teachers what she had learnt at the same time. We started writing our own whole school version of the story of Goldilocks.

How we started: The Happy Three Bears and Goldilocks. Goldilocks went for a walk in the forest. She found a small house and knocked on the door. Goldilocks smashed the door down. She saw the delicious hot steaming porridge and ate all the porridge out of the small bowl.

Goldilocks sat on the big chair. Then she sat on the mummy bear’s chair. Then she sat on the baby bear’s chair and said “it’s just right”. But suddenly it broke. Goldilocks goes up the stairs and looks at the beds. Goldilocks gets on the big bed, and finds it heard, she gets in the second and it’s too soft, then the last is just right.

The bears came home. The bears saw the porridge. They went around the table to see the chairs. The chairs were broken (only one of them). It was baby bears. They went upstairs, somebody was sleeping in baby bear’s bed. Then Goldilocks woke up. Goldilocks ran away while screaming her head off.

Mrs Fowler taught us all how to use the Grammar Rainbow and FANTASTIC to help us make our writing more interesting. Boom! WOW! Fantastic!

Look what we produced next!

Goldilocks and the Three Bears This is a tale of a naughty little girl, with golden locks, called Goldilocks. She took a stroll through the deep, dark woods. Birds were tweeting happily in the tall, leafy, green trees. A soft sweet smell of pine cones filled her nostrils. As she skipped along, she spied an ancient, curious, thatched cottage.

“Oh!” Goldilocks sweetly exclaimed. “I think I shall knock on the door to find out if this charming cottage is for sale. Oh, what a darling, I must have it.” But just then, her tummy started to rumble. A sweet scent of fresh warm porridge started to lead her to the door. “Rumble, rumble,” went her tum.

She forgot she wanted to buy the cottage and hunger took her over. Raising her gloved hand, she gently knocked on the wee door. As her tummy rumbled more, she began hammering at the door like a machine gun and… the door flew open like it had been hit by Miley Cyrus’s wrecking ball! As she went in she smelled a mysterious, yet glorious, aroma. She crept nervously and silently through the kitchen into the dining room.

Goldilocks gazed upon 3 bowls of steaming, hot porridge. Hunger was making her tummy talk. She tried the biggest bowl but it was too lumpy and dry. She tried the medium bowl, it was too cold. She tried the smallest bowl, it was deliciously sweet. Eating it slowly, she savoured all the flavours. “Oh I am too full. I need a rest. I need to sit down!” She flopped onto the nearest chair.

“This one’s too hard” she moaned angrily, moving onto the chair next to it. “Too soft” she moaned again. She spied a small chair in the corner. “This one is just right” she said with relief. But just then there was a creak and a crack and the little chair broke in half! “Bother!” exclaimed Goldilocks. Goldilocks hopped up the stairs, glanced across the tiny room and saw three beds. Suddenly Goldilocks entered Daddy Bear’s bed. “Too high,” she said. Goldilocks then decided to wander across to Mummy Bear’s bed. “Too low” she said. So she got out of bed and trudged to Baby Bear’s bed. “Just right” she said. So gorgeous Goldilocks fell asleep.

Suddenly the miserable bears came back to their grotty house. As they opened the door they saw the whole table covered in porridge. Daddy Bear angrily shouted, “who’s been at my porridge? GRR!” Then Mummy Bear screamed, “who’s been at my porridge?” Finally, Baby Bear cried in his tiny voice, “who’s been devouring my porridge?” Then they stormed into the living room.

“Who’s been sitting on my chair?” said Daddy Bear. Then Mummy Bear said “who’s been sitting on my chair?” Suddenly Baby Bear cried “someone’s broken my chair!” Eventually, the three bears crept up the winding staircase. Daddy Bear bravely pushed open the wooden bedroom door. Mummy Bear and Baby Bear cautiously followed behind him. They wondered what they might discover next. Daddy noticed that his duvet and pillow were discarded on the floor.

“Who’s been sleeping in my bed?” he growled. At that moment, Mummy recoiled in fear as she realised that her bed was also rumpled. “Who’s been sleeping in my bed?” she whimpered. Suddenly Baby Bear roared in horror, “someone’s been sleeping in my bed and she’s still there!”

Goldilocks leapt from the bed, screaming as she sprinted in panic from the room. She ran and ran and ran until the cottage was far behind her. The girl with golden locks was never seen in those parts again!

Wow! We hope you are as impressed with the improvement as we were! This is all the children’s own work. Staff acted as scribes and prompts only. Now we are looking forward to using some of the techniques in our individual work. (The teachers are looking forward to it too!)