INTIMACY Attraction Need (two theories) ◦ Schutz’s  Affection  Inclusion  Control

SELF ACTUALIZATION Personal growth and fulfillment SELF ACTUALIZATION Personal growth and fulfillment AESTHETIC NEEDS Beauty,balance, form COGNITIVE NEEDS Knowledge,meaning,self awareness COGNITIVE NEEDS Knowledge,meaning,self awareness ESTEEM NEEDS Achievement,status,responsibility,reputation ESTEEM NEEDS Achievement,status,responsibility,reputation BELONGINESS/LOVE NEEDS Family,affection,relationships, work group BELONGINESS/LOVE NEEDS Family,affection,relationships, work group SAFETY NEEDS Protection,security,law,etc. SAFETY NEEDS Protection,security,law,etc. BIOLOGICAL AND PHYSIOLOGICAL NEEDS Food,clothing,shelter BIOLOGICAL AND PHYSIOLOGICAL NEEDS Food,clothing,shelter

RELATIONSHIP DEVELOP. [coming together] (Knapp) Initiating Experimenting Intensifying Integrating* Bonding* *Maintenance stages Page 134(model)

RELATIONSHIP DEVELOP. [coming apart] Differentiating* Circumscribing* Stagnating Avoiding Terminating *Maintenance stages

RELATIONSHIP DISSOLUTION (Duck theory) Intrapsychic Phase ◦ “should I stay or should I go?” Dyadic Phase ◦ “It takes two” Social Phase ◦ Advice Grave-dressing ◦ “whose at fault?”

RELATIONSHIP DIALECTICS Dialectics-contradictory impulses that pull us in different directions (slide) Strategies for using dialectics ◦ Selecting ◦ Neutralizing ◦ Segmenting ◦ Reframing

APPLYING DIALECTICS Family ◦ Dialogue ◦ Don’t be afraid to disclose Friendships ◦ Trust ◦ Acquaintance vs friend ◦ Romance? College ◦ Different cultures Community Service ◦ Applying skills in “real life” settings

Gibb categories (Video #2-CD) DefensiveSupportive Evaluation Control Manipulation Indifference Superiority Certainty Description Problem Orientation Assertiveness Empathy Equality Provisionalism

CONFLICT Expressed struggle Types of conflict ◦ Pseudo-misunderstandings ◦ Destructive-negative spiral ◦ Constructive-determining how to solve problem

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLE [Competing] Win-lose scenario Me oriented “Victory for one”

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLE [accommodating] Nonassertive Necessary if you have less power Maintain harmony

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLE [Avoiding] Pretend like it does not exist “Stonewalling” Not always a “bad” thing ◦ Trivial arguements

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLE [compromising] Lose-Lose scenario Ends conflict sooner Not happy with decision

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLE [COLLABORATION] Confrontation Integration Smoothing Is the most positive for resolving conflicts