Revising Your Expository Essay WRITE an essay that explains whether conflict benefits or harms relationships.

Label Your Essay 0 Underline your Thesis Statement 0 Put a box around your 2 Reasons 0 Circle your Examples 0 Romeo and Juliet 0 Your Choice (real life event, personal, movie, hollywood, athlete) 0 Double underline your Conclusion

Revision Step 1: Intro Strategies  Beginning with a short, startling statement that needs further explanation. “I don’t talk on Sundays. I haven’t in more than three years.”  Defining the central term of the prompt. For example, focus on the meaning of the term “conflict” before explaining how conflicts benefit or harm relationships.  Beginning with background information necessary to understand the explanation or examples.

Revision Step 2: Clear Thesis THESIS: The central/controlling idea or argument of your essay. A thesis statement tells your purpose for writing or gives your opinion about a topic. Does your thesis statement clearly state whether conflict benefits or harms relationships? Does it provide reasons? Do those reasons match your body paragraphs?

Revision Step 3: Topic Sentences 0 Look at your first sentence of each of your body paragraphs. Does it include: 0 A meaningful transition (click link for examples) A meaningful transition 0 Clear reason to support your thesis (not just jump to the example)

Revision Step 4: Strong Evidence 0 Are your examples explained enough so that the reader understands who did what and why? 0 If not, what can you add? 0 Do you clearly explain how your example supports your reason? In other words, how does the conflict benefit or harm relationships? 0 If not, what can you add?

Re-writing your Essay 0 With these changes in mind, re-write your essay on the provided 26-line paper. 0 Consider making these changes as we have discussed: 0 New introduction that ends with a clear thesis statement. 0 Elaborate or change your examples in each paragraph- include more specific detail. 0 Add an effective conclusion 0 Check that every sentence is focused on proving your thesis. 0 Look at word choice- strong verbs, precise adjectives, and avoid repetitive wording. 0 Check for any and all grammatical errors. 0 Check your essay with the rubric- what score would you give yourself?