Childhood Development Emotional and Physical Changes for 6 – 12 year olds

What is normal… Emotional –Expectations –Changes –Needs –Wants –Challenges Physical –Expectations –Changes –Needs –Wants –Challenges

Disclaimer Every child and individual grows and develops at their own rate. The points made in this presentation are merely guidelines for the age group and are not definitive developmental benchmarks If you have concerns regarding your child’s development please contact your doctor

Emotional Changes 6 Years Old –tend to be demanding and bossy –will be beginning to be more responsible –enjoy the company of same sex peers –focus on real world play change for pretend

7 Years Old –Tendency to take life very seriously –Life worriers –Understands how to play by the rules –Expects everyone to play by the rules and conflict arises when this doesn’t happen –Need for fairness

8 Year Olds –Often enthusiastic about life –Tend to be outgoing –Capable of sustaining friendships –May appreciate others around them who have a difference of opinion –Friends become very important –Need for fairness –Strong desire to perform well and do things right

9 Years Old –May make a serious grab for independence –May question your authority –Will start to be more careful of own belongings –Struggles with losing gracefully (focused on winning) –Periodically have difficulty with friends –May enjoy staying over at a friend’s house –Peers are extremely important (security in groups) –Views are right and wrong, wonderful or terrible, with very little middle ground

10 Year Olds –Tend to be less worried and more confident –Beginning to have an adult view of the world –May have a ‘best friend’, however, relationships will begin to be more complicated, competitive and changeable

11 Years Old –Can be more worried and less confident –Are observers of the adult world and how it works regarding relationships –May have a ‘best friend’ with whom they share activities –Relationships may tend to be more up and down (complicated, competitive and changeable) –Wanting to do things more independently, however, still require guidance and supervision

12 Years Old –Tend to be less worried and more confident –Adult world of great interest, especially observing relationships –More interested and affected by norms of their friends –May worry about the ‘coolness’ of their looks (clothes, hair, etc.) –May lose interest in family activities –Becoming more independent and less welcoming to love and care of adults –Continue to need supervised independence

Boys versus Girls Dad (male role model) influence very important Mom’s influence is very important Action oriented Fewer connections with the language centre of the brain (in childhood) Responds physically to situations and stress Mom’s influence is very important Often begins to shy away from dad (male presence still important) Verbally orientated Connect readily to language centre of the brain (throughout life) Responds emotionally to situations and stress

Emotional Challenges Strategies Girls: –Talk out the situation –Time away but still address the issue –Safe/healthy emotional expression (silent screaming, journaling, drawing, physical activity) –What is the individual gaining from the behavior (what is their need) –Remain calm and don’t own their feelings –Model wanted behavior/response to situations

Emotional Challenges Boys: -Talk with them often about options, ways to solve problems, choices, and what they can do in certain situations -Model how to handle emotions (male models are best –Mom’s will do) -Teaching boys how to read other people’s body language -Remain calm– don’t own your child’s feelings or issues -Provide opportunities for physical activity

Physical Development Girls 6 – 9 Years Old –Height and weight –Increased coordination –Fine motor coordination is well developed –Large appetite Girls 10 – 12 Years –Onset of puberty– ie: breast buds, hips will take shape, may begin to menstruate –Height and weight increase –May be clumsy due to growth

Physical Development Boys 6 – 9 Years –Height and weight gain –Increase appetite –Increased coordination –Fine motor coordination may be well developed Boys 10 – 12 Years –Puberty may start around 12 yrs. –Height and weight gain –Increase appetite –May be clumsy due to growth –Muscle development begins

Societal Expectations/Challenges Media influence –Males –Females Peer influence Parental influence

How to support through these changes…. Spend time with your child (girls and boys) Set and carry through with appropriate expectations Be open and understanding of changes and development (they are not adults yet) Teach children, media is not the place to look for standards of body image or self-esteem Let them know daily you love them (even if they make poor choices)

Teaching Human Sexuality Grade 4 -6: –Course outline Sexuality Puberty Male/Female Reproductive Systems/Function Conception/Fertilization (Gr. 5) Fetal Development (Gr. 6) (view sample lessons if you wish)

Resources -When Your Kids Push Your Buttons: And What You Can Do About It by Bonnie Harris -No More Misbehavin’:38 Difficult Behaviors and How to Stop Them by Michele Borba -Don’t Give Me That Attitude! 24 Things Kids Do and How to Stop Them by Michele Borba -Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph -Parenting through the School Years – A Guide for Parents of K – 12 Students (Alberta Teachers’ Association)