Quibbletown Middle school Health and Physical Education Department

 Both sides see the relationship as an opportunity to give. One of the basic relationship problems is selfishness. How does selfishness occur? In my opinion, selfishness occurs when someone focuses more on getting rather than giving.  Both sides are willing to change Nobody is perfect but everyone can grow.

 Both sides are willing to admit mistakes In a good relationship, both parties aren’t afraid to admit mistakes. Instead of being defensive, they openly admit the mistakes they make. They can then work together to correct the mistakes. This, of course, is not easy to do. It takes a humble heart to admit mistakes.  Both sides are willing to listen first. In a good relationship, both sides are good listeners. They are willing to understand their partner’s position first before trying to get understood. Doing this is much easier when both sides see the relationship as an opportunity to give (characteristic #1).

 Both sides support each other. Not only are both sides willing to listen, but also they give what their partner needs.  Both sides are open to each other When they have something they don’t like about their partner, they should communicate it rather than just keeping it in their heart.  Both sides have integrity In a good relationship, both parties act in line with what they think and say. They keep their promises.

Used to manipulate Used to control Used to gain power Makes a person feel bad about themselves Makes them afraid of their mate

Physical Abuse - Pushing- Shoving -Shaking-Scratching -Choking- Biting -Hitting - Pinching

Emotional Abuse * Ignoring feelings * Intimidation * Isolating from others * Damaging personal property * Humiliation * Telling lies

 NEVER give personal information online. Your real name, address, telephone number, sex and age should be kept to yourself when meeting people online.  Use EXTREME caution when agreeing to meet in person with someone you've met online. Always meet in a public place and always take someone with you. If you are under 18, NEVER meet with someone without taking a parent with you.  Choose your screen name carefully. Choose something that is gender neutral and fun.  Never respond to any inappropriate solicitations or comments that make you uncomfortable.

 Never believe everything you read in a profile, on a message board or in a chat. Often, people pretend or role play, either for entertainment, to hide or for other ulterior motives.  Don't post negative or personal information of others without permission.  Know how to contact the moderator of your chat  Inform an adult (Parent, Teacher, etc.) If you ever feel confused or uncomfortable!!

 First Time Together? Don’t go out as a twosome. Go out with another couple or go in a group.  Don’t Isolate Yourselves. Stay in places where other people are near enough to hear you and to be of help. Parking in a remote spot isn’t a good idea at any age.  Know Your Limits. Before you go on a date, think through your own limits regarding sexual contact. It’s easier to stick to principles you’ve determined when you’re calm and alone.

 Express Your Wishes. Be wary when your relationship seems to be evolving with one person taking control or acting aggressively- this same pattern could occur in a sexual situation.  Date’s Over! Be very clear in communicating what you feel, beyond just saying “No.” It’s important to be up front and tell the person you are dating your expectations, such as discussing abstaining from sexual intercourse before you find yourself in a sexual situation. If a person you are dating wants to go further sexually than you are willing, insist that the date and/or the relationship is over. If he/she won’t leave, leave your date.  Warning Signs. Being manipulated, verbally put down, pushed or slapped and kept isolated from other relationships are all signs of an abusive relationship.

 Unwanted sexual attention from a person who knows or ought reasonably to know that such attention is unwanted; or  Implied or expressed promise of reward for complying with a sexually-oriented request; or  Implied or expressed threat of reprisal or actual reprisal for refusal to comply with a sexually oriented request: or  A sexual relationship which constitutes an abuse of power in a relationship of trust; or  Sexually oriented remarks or behaviour which may reasonably be perceived to create a negative psychological and emotional environment for work and study. 

If you think you are being sexually harassed, you need to tell someone who can help you stop it. Here are some things you and/or your parents can do:  Don’t blame yourself.  Say “No” Clearly.  Write down what happened.  Report the Harassment. It is very important that you tell your parents or another adult, like a teacher or guidance counselor, about the harassment. If you want the school to do something about the harassment, you MUST tell a school official, such as the principal, that you are being sexually harassed. If you do not feel comfortable telling the school official yourself, get the help of your parents, a teacher, guidance counselor or another adult to go with you.