“ANTIM IVIREANUL” HIGH SCHOOL RM. VALCEA

urselffoundation.com/ How do children feel about their parents going for work abroad? Analysis and remedial action at „Antim Ivireanu” High-school from Râmnicu Vâlcea, Romania

As a result of the signals recently sent by both governmental and nongovernmental organizations such as UNICEF and “Save the children”, concerning the impact the parents migration has on their children, our school worked on a study that proposed to deal with this matter, the target being our primary students. THE NEGATIVE IMPACT OF PARENTS MIGRATION ON THEIR CHILDREN’S LIFE

 These children stand for a vulnerable group, exposed to risks, with psycho - behavioral effects on them.  Having a closer look on the matter, we can perceive a series of negative consequences coming up for them.  Depriving children of their parents’ affection and of their necessary “close look” leads to affective, motivational and behavioral deficiencies THE CHILDREN WITH THEIR PARENTS ABROAD ARE A VULNERABLE GROUP OF INDIVIUALS

 Feelings of abandonment, unsecurity, sadness, anxiety, depressive moods, as a result of missing their parents, of their need for parental affection, of appraisal on the part of their parents and once they develop a cognitive distortion.  Lack of motivation, apathy ( indifference to what happens around them), tiredness (lack of energy, unwilling to make cognitive efforts at school, to involve in any free-time activities according to their age) either on the ground of sadness, or the multi- tasks they might have, many of them designed for adults. NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES ON THE CHILDREN WITH THEIR PARENTS ABROAD

 Attitude of indifference, of stubborness which can sometimes give birth to violent behaviour as a result of frustration and of need for attention. In front of the difficulties the child faces he interpretes the absence of his parents like a lack of attention for him and his needs.  Attention disorders ( a decreased ability to concentrate on the tasks achievement and “an escape from reality ”). What the children often have in mind is their parents gone abroad, their situation, the moments they will talk to them, when they will receive parcels from them etc. NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES ON THE CHILDREN WITH THEIR PARENTS ABROAD

 Damage to school behavior ( decreasing school performance, skipping classes, abandoning studies, having conflicts with teachers and colleagues) on the ground of lacking parental authority and as a result of missing a long-term aspirations project. NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES ON THE CHILDREN WITH THEIR PARENTS ABROAD

 The absence of long-term aspirations (they cannot be projected in the future) or the presence of some unrealistic aspirations determined by cognitive distortions such as: “You don’t have to learn in order to have money”, “When I grow up, I am going abroad myself to work and for doing it, you don’t need to learn” etc. The coming up or the development of such a negative attitude to education is favored especially by the models provided by those parents who, although they are university graduates, are forced to choose an unskilled job abroad.So the children and the teenagers find out that abroad, working as a laborer somebody can earn much more than if somebody works home in the field you are qualified to. cognitive distortions such as: “You don’t have to learn in order to have money”, “When I grow up, I am going abroad myself to work and for doing it, you don’t need to learn” etc. The coming up or the development of such a negative attitude to education is favored especially by the models provided by those parents who, although they are university graduates, are forced to choose an unskilled job abroad.So the children and the teenagers find out that abroad, working as a laborer somebody can earn much more than if somebody works home in the field you are qualified to.

 The stress at school. For the children who have their parents working abroad, school stands for an important generator of stress. Most of the conver-sations on the phone between children and their parents deal with school matters, then they are asked about the relatives that take care of them and the way they spend their free time. NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES ON THE CHILDREN WITH THEIR PARENTS ABROAD

 (Pre)deliquent behaviours (deliquent group member-ship, violent behaviour, substance abuse, involvement in criminal activities, going into pubs, game rooms etc.) is a way of replacing the unsatisfied needs for appreciation, attention şi affection.  Tolerance to frustration of a lower level or, on the contrary, of a higher level in direct relationship with the child’s capacity to adapt, with his defense mechanisms.

 Self-esteem disorders: overrating in relation to the other children who don’t have so much money as they do or the same clothes or items they get from abroad, or underestimation in relation to their friends whose parents come to important events in their life (school anniversaries, parents meetings, anniversaries, celebrations etc.) NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES ON THE CHILDREN WITH THEIR PARENTS ABROAD

 Adaptation difficulties. After the parents’ departure their children come across a period of adaptation to the new situation, to the changes that come up in their life. Lacking support on the part of their parents or a psychological advice, children can develop during this period of adaptation an accute reaction to stress or a reaction of adaptation. NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES ON THE CHILDREN WITH THEIR PARENTS ABROAD

 Communication difficulties both in relation with children of the same age and in relation with adults. Statistics show that the departure of one of the parents brings about a worse relationship between the child and the parent who remained home

Starting from the recorded data confirmed at the school level, that is, the existence of 20% of the primary level students, we propose an action plan which has as main purpose the reduction of the impact the parents’ going abroad has on their children. Action plan

A better understanding of the student, of his behaviour, of his skills, of the problems he faces while his parent(s) is/are gone abroad; A better understanding of the student, of his behaviour, of his skills, of the problems he faces while his parent(s) is/are gone abroad; Preventing school abandonment; Preventing school abandonment; Increasing motivation for education; Increasing motivation for education; Preventing harmful environments and antisocial activities; Preventing harmful environments and antisocial activities; Taking part in curricular and extracurricular activities; Taking part in curricular and extracurricular activities; Teachers’ getting involved in developing the interpersonal relationship and promoting trust between children; Teachers’ getting involved in developing the interpersonal relationship and promoting trust between children; Forming independent life skills that deal with taking responsabilities, communicating with children of the same age and with adults şi cu adulţi. Forming independent life skills that deal with taking responsabilities, communicating with children of the same age and with adults şi cu adulţi. Keeping in touch with the home parents or the tutors, as well as with the parents who are abroad Keeping in touch with the home parents or the tutors, as well as with the parents who are abroad

Field of activity Identifying the children whose parents work abroad Measures and concrete actions –Setting up a database –Making a study and an intervention plan –Filling in some forms (with the help of headteachers and primary teachers) for monitoring the students whose parents work abroad Persons in charge Primary teachers Headteachers Educational counselor School counselor Headmasters

Field of activity Preventing and controlling the negative effects of the children separation from their parents by approaching some specific topics during the proposed educational activities Measures and concrete actions Doing activities that have as goals: –Crystallizing a positive self-image; –Increasing the capacity of taking decisions; –Keeping a balance in situations of success and failure; –Increasing resistance to frustration; –Taking responsabilities; –Improving communication skills; – Time management; –Increasing the motivation for education; People in charge Primary teachers Headteachers Teachers School counselor

Field of activity Preventing and controlling the negativ effects of the children’s separation from their parents by involving in curricular and extracurricular activities Measures and concrete action –Initiating and taking part in educational and extracurricular activities (anniversaries, visits, shows, hobbies workshops, trips, etc) with students’ participation –Organizing şi taking part in activities in partnership with local institutions with the purpose of creating a social support for the students in risky situations (DSP, Police, The Guardians, CPECA) People in charge Primary teachers Headteachers School counselor Educational counselor Heamasters

Field of activity Preventing and controlling the negativ effects of the children’s separation from their parents by setting up a permanent communication and collabora- tion school- family Measures and concrete action –Keeping the family and the tutors informed about the children’s situation; –Keeping the family and the tutors informed about the consequences of migration on the child’s development by keeping lectures; –Communicating with the parents who work abroad and talking about their emotional and school situation –Making people sensible and mobilizing them in order to give support to the chldren; –Making the people aware, before leaving abroad, of the fact that they have to notify the authorities and make the necessary papers for passing the custody to a tutor People in charge Primary teachers Headteachers School counselor Educational counselor Heamasters

Field of activity Collabo- rating with the school counselor; Measures and concrete action –Identifyimg the possible problems that the child might have; –Sending the children with psycho- behavioural problems to the Psychopedagogical Assinstance Cabinet (teachers/primary teachers) –Supportive counselling (encouraging students to express their emotions, active listening, assistance for managing emotions, discovering new adapting methods in order to face a certain situation, a better self-understanding ) –Parents’ counselling for realizing the consequences of their separation; –Giving advice to the tutors; People in charge Primary teachers Headteachers School counselor Teachers

Material goods can not replace parental love