L O V E I F E

Lesson 1 Qualities of a Good Relationship

Kate Moss + Pete Doherty

Katie Price + Peter André

Heidi Klum + Seal

Catherine Zeta Jones + Michael Douglas

Brad Pitt + Angelina Jolie

Katie Holmes + Tom Cruise

Elton John + David Furnish

Victoria + David Beckham

Sharon + Ozzy Osbourne

Ending a relationship by text Kissing someone at a party when in a relationship with someone else Checking calls and texts on a boyfriend/girlfriend mobile phone Having friends of the opposite sex when in a relationship Ringing a boyfriend/girlfriend to check they have got home safely Having a sexual relationship after being together for a week Going out with friends without boyfriend/girlfriend To have sex even if not in the mood to please boyfriend/girlfriend

Lesson 2 Pressure and Being Ready For Sex

Pressure Cooker Scenarios Jen is 13. She tells you she is going to go to the youth clinic to get the pill. Her boyfriend, 15, who she's been going out with for 3 weeks has told her he'll have to find someone else if she won't have sex.

Darren is 15. All of his friends say they've had sex and he's tired of being called a poof. So he's going to shag a girl before he's 16 next month.

Jen is 13. She tells you she is going to go to the youth clinic to get the pill. Her boyfriend, 15, who she's been going out with for 3 weeks has told her he'll have to find someone else if she won't have sex. Darren is 15. All of his friends say they've had sex and he's tired of being called a poof. So he's going to shag a girl before he's 16 next month. Notice anything about these two scenarios?

RU READY – OR NOT QUITE YET? You feel you could say no if you wanted to but still want to do it You can have fun together without anything sexual involved You each want it for yourself, not for the other person or to fit in with friends or others’ expectations of you Nobody's forcing you, pressuring you or coercing you You have discussed using condoms and contraception, and agreed what happens next and whether or not to tell your friends afterwards as well as talking about the implications if you become pregnant YOU PROBABLY WON’T BE READY FOR SEX TILL YOU CAN TICK ALL THESE BOXES BUT REMEMBER EVEN ONCE YOU ARE READY – IT STILL DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO! REMEMBER TOO THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU’VE ALREADY HAD SEX – IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO AGAIN – YOU CAN TAKE SOME TIME OUT Copyright : Jo In consultation with young people from Calderdale, West Yorkshire

Lesson 3 Positive Sexual Relationships

Attitude statements If a young person enjoys sex the first time they do it, they’re really lucky. Sex is only pleasurable if a person loves the person they’re with. It’s easy for a person to ask for what they want or enjoy in a sexual relationship It’s easier for men to enjoy sex than women It’s OK to have sex with lots of different people. It’s OK to be a virgin at 18. If a person is drunk they are more likely to have sex they don’t really want.

Problem pages My boyfriend wants me to have sex with him but I’m not ready yet. He says I’d do it if I loved him…… what should I do? AS 15. I am not a virgin but don’t want to have sex with my new girlfriend as we have only been seeing each other for 3 weeks. She thinks it means I don’t fancy her. I don’t want to lose her… help.JD16 I have been seeing my boyfriend for 3 months. He wants us to go further than just kissing but I’m really nervous. What else could we do? GT 15 I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time last night. I don’t think she had an orgasm and I don’t really know how to please her. Help! Desperate 16

Sexual activities Kissing Full penetrative sex ?? ??

Discuss: 1.How could someone say no to taking part in sexual activities they do not want to do? 2.How can someone negotiate the sexual relationship they really want? 3. If someone moves along the spectrum and wants to take a step back again, how can they manage this without causing problems in their relationship? 4.What are the benefits of not having penetrative sex? 5.Are some of the sexual activities mentioned absolutely unacceptable to others in the group? 6. If a person had been drinking alcohol, would this make any difference to the negotiation of what they want? In what way?

Local Services What services are available to young people locally? What help and support can young people access from these services?

Lesson 4 Sexual and Gender Based Stereotyping

Female Icons

Male Icons

Males and Females - Stereotypes What is the stereotype of a “real man” or “real woman”? Think about their “looks”, “behaviour” and “lifestyle”.

Media Messages MagazinesPornographyTV/Soap Operas DISCUSS 1.How are men portrayed? What are they expected to look like? Act like? 2.How are women portrayed? What are they expected to look like? Act like? 3.How realistic are these portrayals? 4.What pressures do these put on young people about their looks/behaviour?

“Reading young people’s magazines for just 60 minutes lowered self-esteem of over 80% of those who read them” Susie Orbach

Lesson 5 Risk-taking and Consequences

The Worst Thing That Could Happen to a 15 Year Old. To find out he/she has got chlamydia To find out she’s pregnant/he has got his girlfriend pregnant To think she/he might be gay To lose his/her virginity when drunk To get really bad exam results in mock GCSE’s To not have a boyfriend or girlfriend when everyone else in their friendship group has To have had sex the night before and not used a condom To find out your best mate is HIV positive

Pictures for Risk Scenarios – Taken From ‘Sex, Drugs and Alcohol’ Tacade 2004

Questions for Discussion What is happening/has happened in the situation? What might have led up to the situation? What might the risks be? What might the consequences be? What could they have done to avoid the situation? Would the situation be any different if alcohol had not be involved? What help/support might the person need?

Lesson 6 Pregnancy and Parenting

Contraception - a reminder

Pregnancy Scenarios Sarah is 15 and Rob is 18. She is worried she might be pregnant. Her parents do not know she is seeing rob as he is three years older and they would disapprove. Melissa is 16 and had unprotected sex three weeks ago when drunk. She is vague friends with the boy she had sex with. Her period is due today. Jen and Cain are 15. They have been together for over a year and started having a sexual relationship 6 months ago. She is on the pill but doesn’t always remember to take it. Her period is ten days late.

Being a Young Parent Jen and Cain without a baby age ………. Jen and Cain with a baby age ……….

Work ? Home? Travel? Education? Family life? What else? Personal Timeline …..

Local Services

Assessment activity scenarios Sarah is 15 and worried she might be pregnant. She had sex at a party two days ago when she was a bit drunk and wishes she hadn’t. Her friend, Amy, takes her to see the school nurse Joe is 15. He has just started seeing a girl and wants to have sex with her. He goes to the young people’s clinic to get free condoms.