Thesis Development From Rosenwasser, David and Jill Stephen, Writing Analytically, 2nd Ed., Harcourt College Publishers, Teaching Writing

Five kinds of weak theses  Makes no claim  Is obviously true or a statement of fact  Restates conventional wisdom  Offers personal conviction as the basis for the claim  Makes an overly broad claim

A thesis is an idea  It answers questions  It explains something that needs to be explained  It may begin with an observation that is puzzling, something that you want to figure out  It may be the discovery of a question where there was previously none

 It may make explicit and explore the meaning of something implicit—an unstated assumption or a logical consequence  It may connect elements of a subject and explain the significance of that connection  It often accounts for some dissonance—that is, something that seems not to fit together.

Weak Thesis #1 – Thesis that makes no claim  I’m going to write about Darwin’s concerns with evolution in The Origin of Species  This paper will address the characteristics of a good corporate manager

Solution : raise specific issues to explore  Darwin’s concern with survival of the fittest leads him to neglect a potentially conflicting aspect of his theory of evolution—survival as a matter of interdependence.  The very trait that makes an effective corporate manager—the drive to succeed— can also make the leader domineering and therefore ineffective.

Weak Thesis #2 – obviously true or statement of fact  The jean industry targets its advertisements to appeal to young adults.  The flight from teaching to research and publishing in higher education is a controversial issue in the academic world. I will show different views and aspects concerning this problem.

Solution: Find some avenue of inquiry—a question about the facts or an issue raised by them. Make an assertion with which it would be possible for readers to disagree.  By inventing new terms, such as “loose fit” and “relaxed fit,” the jeans industry has attempted to normalize, even glorify its product for an older and fatter generation.  The “flight from teaching” to research and publishing in higher education is based to a significant degree on a false assumption: that doing research necessarily leads teachers away from the classroom.

Weak Thesis #3 – Restates conventional wisdom  An important part of one’s college education is learning to better understand others’ points of view.  From cartoons in the morning to adventure shows at night, there is too much violence on television.

Solution: Complicate—see more than one point of view on—your subject. Avoid conventional wisdom unless you can qualify or introduce a new perspective.  Although an important part of one’s college education is learning to better understand others’ points of view, a persistent danger is that students will be required simply to substitute the teacher’s answers for the ones they grew up uncritically believing.  Although some might argue that the presence of rock-and-roll soundtracks in TV commercials has corrupted rock’s spirit, this point of view not only falsifies the history of rock but also blinds us to the ways that music has improved the quality of television.

WEAK THESIS #4 – Offers personal conviction as the basis for the claim.  The songs of the punk rock group Minor Threat relate to the feelings of individuals who dare to be different. The group’s songs are composed of pure emotion and this is good because I can really identify with them.  I agree with Jeanne Kirkpatrick’s argument that environmentalists and businesses should work together to ensure the ecological future of the world. Any individual, if he looks deeply enough into his soul, knows what is right and what is wrong. The environment should be protected because it is the right thing to do, not because someone is forcing you to do it.

Solution: Try on other points of view honestly and dispassionately; treat your ideas as hypotheses to be tested rather than as obvious truths.  While the songs of Minor Threat support individuals’ right to be different, they are also very emotional. And while emotions are very important in music, they can also be used to manipulate, and that can be dangerous.  Although I agree with the argument that environmentalists and businesses should work together to ensure the ecological future of the world, Kirkpatrick’s argument undervalues the necessity of pressuring businesses to attend to the environmental concerns that may not benefit them in the short run.

WEAK THESIS #5 – makes overly broad claim  Violent revolutions have had both positive and negative results.  Othello is a play about love and jealousy.

Solution: Convert broad categories and generic (fits anything) claims to more specific assertions; find ways to b ring out the complexity of your subject.  Although violent revolutions begin to redress long-standing social inequities, they often do so at the cost of long-term economic dysfunction and the suffering that attends it.  Although Othello appears to attack jealousy, it also supports the skepticism of the jealous characters over the naiveté of the lovers.

The (as it were) end From Rosenwasser, David and Jill Stephen, Writing Analytically, 2nd Ed., Harcourt College Publishers, 2000.