1 Emotions: Thinking, Feeling, and Communicating Looking Out, Looking In 12 th Edition  Chapter Summary What Are Emotions? Types of Emotions Influence of Emotional Expression Guidelines for Expressing Emotions Managing Difficult Emotions

2 What are Emotions? Looking Out, Looking In 12 th Edition  Emotions Physiological Factors Strong emotions are coupled with strong physical changes. A rise in blood pressure and an increased heart rate can occur. Nonverbal Reactions Blushing, sweating and fidgeting are nonverbal signs of emotion. Sometimes nonverbal reactions can cause negative emotions.

3 What are Emotions? Looking Out, Looking In 12 th Edition  Emotions Cognitive Interpretations Emotions react on a cognitive level, but activity is ambiguous. If you were to measure someone experiencing a strong emotion, it would be difficult to ascertain if it were fear or joy. Verbal Expression Though not as effective as nonverbal communication, sometimes words are required to communicate emotions. Make sure the message communicated is understood accurately.

4 Influences on Emotional Expression Looking Out, Looking In 12 th Edition  Primary and Mixed Emotions Personality There is a clear relationship between personality and emotions. Extroverted individuals seem upbeat and optimistic. Neurotic individuals report more negative emotions. Personality doesn’t have to govern communication satisfaction. Culture Individualistic Culture vs. Collectivistic Culture What does, “I love you,” really mean?

5 Influences on Emotional Expression Looking Out, Looking In 12 th Edition  Primary and Mixed Emotions Gender Biological sex is the best predictor of the ability to detect and interpret emotional expression. Research suggests that there is some truth to the unexpressive male. Women are 10 –15% more accurate in remembering emotions. People in close relationships are more likely to recognize the emotional cues of their mates than those in less-close relationships.

6 Influences on Emotional Expression Looking Out, Looking In 12 th Edition  Primary and Mixed Emotions Social Convention Unwritten rules of communication discourage the direct expression of most emotions. How many genuine emotions do you really experience in public? Social rules even discourage too much positive emotion. Boys can kiss their mother but should shake their father’s hand.

7 Influences on Emotional Expression Looking Out, Looking In 12 th Edition  Primary and Mixed Emotions Fear of Self-disclosure Feelings are rarely shared publicly for fear of ridicule. One whose presenting self says one thing has a difficult if not impossible time expressing the opposite. Emotion Cognition Emotions are transferred from one person to another. Emotions can be infectious. Crying, laughing, etc.

8 Guidelines for Expressing Emotions Looking Out, Looking In 12 th Edition  Expressing Emotions Recognize your feelings. Identifying your emotions is the first step to managing them. Distinguishing emotions is vital to your emotional intelligence. Expand your emotional vocabulary. Good or Bad vs. Terrible or Great Emotionally counterfeit statements: “I feel like going to a show,” or “I feel we’ve been seeing too much of each other.” Is any feeling taking place?

9 Guidelines for Expressing Emotions Looking Out, Looking In 12 th Edition  Expressing Emotions Share multiple feelings. Rarely are you experiencing just one emotion. We usually communicate one emotion, and often it tends to be the most negative. Consider when and where to express your feelings. Choose an appropriate time to express your feelings. That time is not always the moment you experience them. Waiting is not always a bad idea.

10 Guidelines for Expressing Emotions Looking Out, Looking In 12 th Edition  Expressing Emotions Accept responsibility for your feelings. Your language should reflect the accurate emotion. “I’m feeling angry” vs." You're making me angry.” Be mindful of the communication channel. Choose the right channel. Face-to-face, , Internet, etc. Understand the limitations of the channel. Remember, communication is irreversible.

11 Managing Difficult Emotions Looking Out, Looking In 12 th Edition  Debilitative Emotions Facilitative and Debilitative Emotions Facilitative Emotions Contribute to effective functioning Debilitative Emotions Detract from effective functioning Intensity Some intensity in emotion may be constructive. Too much emotion will make the situation worse.

12 Managing Difficult Emotions Looking Out, Looking In 12 th Edition  Debilitative Emotions Debilitative emotions can be broken down in two categories: Anxiousness Duration Most debilitative emotions involve communication. Most, but not all, debilitative emotions lead to conflict. Some debilitative emotions take longer from which to recover.

13 Managing Difficult Emotions Looking Out, Looking In 12 th Edition  Source of Debilitative Emotions Physiology Your genetic makeup plays a significant role. The amygdala Hijacking the brain and sometimes the senses Emotional Memory Some emotional events lock themselves in your memory. These events can trigger adverse reactions.

14 Managing Difficult Emotions Looking Out, Looking In 12 th Edition  Debilitative Emotions Self-Talk The similarities between the physical and emotional Look at emotions in the following example Event Feeling Bee stingPhysical Pain Meeting StrangersNervous Feelings Taking testsHeavy anxiety Can you come up with some others?

15 Managing Difficult Emotions Looking Out, Looking In 12 th Edition  Irrationality and Emotions The Fallacy of Perfection Communicators should be able to handle every situation. The Fallacy of Approval You need the approval of every person. The Fallacy of Shoulds The inability to distinguish between what is and what should be The Fallacy of Catastrophic Expectations If something bad can happen, it will.

16 Managing Difficult Emotions Looking Out, Looking In 12 th Edition  Irrationality and Emotions The Fallacy of Overgeneralization Making decisions with little information The Causation Irrational belief that emotions are caused by others The Fallacy of Helplessness Satisfaction in life is determined by forces beyond your control.

17 Managing Difficult Emotions Looking Out, Looking In 12 th Edition  Minimize Debilitative Emotions Monitor your emotional reactions. Recognize when you’re feeling these emotions. Change your behavior to counteract. Note the activating event. Try to identify exactly what triggered the emotion. Keep in mind it can be more than one event. Record your self-talk. Monitor your inner monologue. Keep a journal or recording of you thoughts.

18 Managing Difficult Emotions Looking Out, Looking In 12 th Edition  Minimize Debilitative Emotions Dispute your irrational beliefs. Use the list of irrational fallacies on page to discover which internal thinking could be classified as irrational. Are your beliefs rational? Why or why not? What can you do differently?

19 Emotions: Thinking, Feeling, and Communicating Looking Out, Looking In 12 th Edition  Chapter Summary What Are Emotions? Types of Emotions Influence of Emotional Expression Guidelines for Expressing Emotions Managing Difficult Emotions