The Scholarship Essay And the Writing Process Jennifer McBride & Vincent Piro Adapted from:

The Writing Process 1. Step One: Triggering and Analyzing the Situation 2. Step Two: Gathering and Brainstorming 3. Step Three: Shaping by Writing an Outline 4. Step Four: Writing Your Rough Draft 5. Step Five: Revising & Editing

STEP ONE: Triggering and Analyzing the Situation 1

Step One: Triggering and Analyzing the Situation Usually, the desire for financial assistance triggers your need to write a personal statement or essay as part a scholarship process. The goal of an this is to convince someone that you are worthy to be granted a scholarship or receive financial aid. 1

Audience It is important to consider the audience of your personal statement or essay. ◦ Are you writing to a national scholarship committee? ◦ Are you writing to a state-wide scholarship committee? ◦ Are you writing to a local scholarship committee? Research the organization giving the scholarship for which you are applying. ◦ Who is offering the scholarship? ◦ Who are the judges? ◦ For what is the organization known? ◦ What is the organization’s mission? 1

STEP TWO: Gathering and Brainstorming 2

Carefully Analyze the Directions If you are to write using a specific set of directions, then carefully read the directions several times. ◦ Are there different parts to the directions? ◦ Are you asked to provide different types of information about yourself? Divide the question into its parts and make an exhaustive list or cluster that answers each part of the question… 2

…example: “Discuss how your interest in your field or major developed and describe your experience in the field – such as volunteer work or internships – and what you gained from this involvement.” There are three parts to these directions, each highlighted above. 2

example Good Student Scholarship Directions: “a one or two page autobiographical essay by the applicant that includes information about who the applicant is and what the applicant hopes to accomplish. “ Question: How many parts are there to the directions above? What are they? 2

answer: Good Student Scholarship Directions: “a one or two page autobiographical essay by the applicant that includes information about who the applicant is and what the applicant hopes to accomplish. “ 2

Brainstorm your ideas! Write down any idea that comes into your head when you think about your topic (words, phrases, symbols, etc.) Methods: 1.Freewriting 2.Listing 3.Clustering 2

Freewriting Freewriting is like talking to yourself on paper. Write as much as you can in connected sentences (not lists) about your topic. Write as quickly as you can without stopping to think about grammar or organization. Helpful when you have too many ideas or no ideas about your topic. Options: ◦ Write for a specific time period ◦ Write for a specific amount of paper 2

Freewriting Example: 2 “ My favorite book… I don’t know where to start. I read so many books that are interesting that it’s hard to choose just one. I guess I could start by talking about the kinds of books I really like. I like biographies and autobiographies the best. I really enjoy reading about another person’s life. One of my favorite books is called Roots by Alex Haley. How the author was able to trace his family history all the way back to Africa was amazing! Another book I really enjoyed was Carl Sandburg’s biography of Abraham Lincoln. What an incredible president! There are also some very interesting books about leaders like Napoleon, Churchill, and Stalin. Well, I guess that gives me a few ideas about where I can start on my topic…”

Listing Start with the main topic of your essay. Write that word or words at the top of your paper. Write down any word or phrase that might relate to your main topic underneath. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar. Your goal is to write down as many ideas as quickly as possible! 2

Listing Example: 2 Why I Want to Become a Nurse Like science Like problem solving Many jobs available in nursing Good salary Like working in a hospital Want to help other people Challenging job Opportunities for promotion Interested in study of diseases Interested in study of human body Flexible hours Will always learn something new

Clustering Start with the main topic of your essay. Write that word in the center of your paper. Write down any sub-topics that are connected to that main topic. Draw arrows to the sub- topics from the main topic. Similar to a “mind map” 2

Clustering Example: 2 San Francisco Chinatown Fisherman’s Wharf Golden Gate Bridge Alcatraz Museums Transportation

General Questions for Brainstorming What's special, unique, distinctive, and/or impressive about you or your life story? What details of your life (personal or family problems, history, people or events that have shaped you or influenced your goals) might help the committee better understand you or help set you apart from other applicants? When did you become interested in this field and what have you learned about it (and about yourself) that has further stimulated your interest and reinforced your conviction that you are well suited to this field? What insights have you gained? What are your career goals? Have you had to overcome any unusual obstacles or hardships (for example, economic, familial, or physical) in your life? What personal characteristics (for example. integrity. compassion. persistence) do you possess that would improve your prospects for success in the field or profession? Is there a way to demonstrate or document that you have these characteristics? From Purdue’s OWL. 2

STEP THREE: Shaping by Writing an Outline 3

An Outline Turning your brainstorming into an informal outline may help you organize your thoughts and make sure you have addressed all parts of the directions 3

Example 1. Introduction: mention that I need a scholarship to Cochise College because I want to be a teacher. Cochise has excellent Education classes. 2. Body Paragraph: Mention how I have always wanted to be a teacher since junior high when I tutored elementary students. 3. Body Paragraph: Mention that I have experience as a teacher’s assistant in Mr. Smith’s biology class. 4. Conclusion: Note that my desire and experience make be an ideal student for Cochise College. 3

Organization There are three parts to a personal Statement or essay: 1.The Introduction 2.The Body Paragraphs 3.The Conclusion 3

The Introduction Introduction: Many personal statements or essays begin with a catchy opening, often a distinctive personal example, as a way of gaining the reader's attention. From there you can connect the example to the actual scholarship for which you are applying. Mention the specific name of the scholarship, as well as the degree you are seeking, in the first paragraph. Adapted from Indiana University’s Tutorial Services. 3

Body Paragraphs Detailed Supporting Paragraphs: ◦ Subsequent paragraphs should address any specific questions from the application, which might deal with your own qualifications or your long-term goals or some combination. ◦ Each paragraph should be focused and should have a topic sentence that informs the reader of the paragraph's emphasis. ◦ The examples from your experience must be relevant and should support your argument about your qualifications. Adapted from Indiana University’s Tutorial Services. 3

The Conclusion Conclusion : Tie together the various issues that you have raised in the essay, and reiterate your interest in receiving the scholarship. You might also mention how receiving this scholarship will be a step towards a long-term goal in a closing paragraph. Adapted from Indiana University’s Tutorial Services. 3

STEP FOUR: Writing your Rough Draft 4

Drafting Write several drafts of your personal statement or essay: ◦ Using your outline as a guide. ◦ Working within the word limitations on the scholarship application. ◦ Following an special formatting directions given on the application. 4

STEP FIVE: Revising and Editing 5

Revise As you revise your essay: ◦ Cut out any repetitious ideas or words. ◦ Add in specific examples and details that make your experiences stand out from other applicants. ◦ Change the order of paragraphs so that your most interesting ideas and best writing are at the beginning and end. ◦ Replace irrelevant information that does not address the directions with relevant information that stays focused on the directions. 5

Editing Edit several times for the following: ◦ Spelling errors ◦ Grammar errors ◦ Punctuation errors ◦ Typos ◦ Contractions and abbreviations Have other people proofread your work, preferably a professional, such as a teacher. 5

Example Before editing: I am highly aware of the rebutation of your school, and my conversation with several of your former students have served to deepen my interest in attending. In addition to your excellent faculty, your computer facilities among the best in the state. I hope you me the this scolarship from your university so that I may persue my studies at your fine institution. After editing: I am highly aware of the superb reputation of Cochise College, and my conversations with several of your alumni have served to deepen my interest in attending. I know that, in addition to your excellent faculty, your computer facilities are among the best in the state. I hope you will award me the this scholarship from your university so that I may pursue my studies at your fine institution. 5

In Conclusion…

The Writing Process 1. Analyze the Situation 2. Brainstorm 3. Write an Outline 4. Write Your Rough Draft 5. Revise & Edit

Provide All Materials Often scholarships will ask for additional materials: ◦ Transcripts ◦ Lists of Accomplishments or Awards ◦ Letters of Recommendation Be sure to include all materials in the application packet, or more than likely, your application will be rejected.

Resources The Personal Statement. Merced College. 20 April Writing the Personal Statement. Purdue University. 22 Mar < handouts/pw/p_perstate.html>. Personal Statements and Application Letters. Indiana University. 20>. Apr