Dealing with Change Deer Oaks EAP Services

Stages of Grief Following Job Changes Happiness or Shock and Denial Emotional Release Depression Panic and Guilt Anger and Hostility Renewed Hope and Rebuilding Resolution

Five phases most people experience in adapting to change: 1.Resistance - Comes from fear. 2.Uncertainty - How will it affect me? Can I handle it? How will things change? Will the change really be good? 3.Assimilation – Acceptance a little at a time, one day at a time. 4.Integration. 5.Acceptance.

How are you coping with the change? 1.Getting sick more often 2.Not sleeping well at night 3.Using more alcohol or drugs 4.Becoming more isolated 5.Losing interest in things 6.Putting things off 7.Long periods of depression 8.Having more fights with your family Eight Warning Signs

Seven Ways to Fight Back 1.Stay healthy 2.Know the effects of stress 3.Don’t blame yourself 4.Don’t deal with things alone 5.Develop support systems 6.Have a plan 7.Stay active

To work through feelings, and to take care of yourself, we recommend the following: Do not minimize the change Do not maximize the change Identify your points of continuity: Are you still reporting to the same person, or working with the same group? Take time outs

To work through feelings, and to take care of yourself, we recommend the following: Look for creative opportunities Look for learning opportunities Give credit for your own learning and growth Think in terms of a life plan Remember that even those changes you want to make will require going through a process of transition

Tips for Coping with Change Be in charge of your reaction to change (attitude) Expect stress, stay flexible Be prepared for “psychological soreness” and hurting for a while Seek out information about changes like the one you are experiencing

Tips for Coping with Change Use the stress/change as an opportunity for growth Keep your sense of humor Practice good stress management techniques Design small projects that are successful

Tips for Coping with Change Keep doing your normal duties even if you have to slow down a bit Talk about the stress with co-workers, family, and friends Acknowledge your feelings

Tips for communicating with your spouse/partner during challenging times Don’t put off talking about something that is on your mind, but choose a time when both of you can listen Use self-disclosure Be an empathetic listener; avoid judging or evaluating the other person Check out what you are hearing by paraphrasing and clarifying

Tips for communicating with your spouse/partner during challenging times Don’t have any expectation about what your partner may say in response to you Think of conversation as a process Ask for what you need Seek the help of a third party (clergy person, trusted friend, professional counselor) if you feel your discussions are especially stressful or you can’t connect in a satisfying way with each other

18 Ways to Survive Change 1. Be prepared for change 2. Express sadness, loss, or anxiety about the future 3. Watch out for unrealistic expectations 4. Don’t let yourself or others be abused 5. Acknowledge any increased pressures, demands, or workloads 6. Protect your leisure time

18 Ways to Survive Change 7. Don’t ignore your family 8. Don’t turn to alcohol, drugs, food, or other chemical coping strategies 9. Remain upbeat and positive 10.Get creative 11.Expand your value 12.Celebrate your accomplishments

18 Ways to Survive Change 13.Seek appropriate compensation. 14.Improve lines of communication 15.Become more efficient 16.Learn from the experiences of others 17.Rise to the challenge 18.Never become complacent

Tips for Reducing Stress Practice being quiet and still Relax, breathe deeply Learn to plan Recognize and accept your limits Learn to play Be a mostly-positive person Learn to tolerate and to forgive

Tips for Reducing Stress Avoid unnecessary competition Get regular physical exercise Learn a systematic, drug-free method of relaxing Talk out your troubles Change your thinking and change your life

Strategies for Getting Through Transitions 1. Figure out what is actually changing 2. Decide what is really over for you 3. Distinguish between current losses and old wounds 4. Identify your continuities 5. Recognize the symptoms of the transition

Strategies for Getting Through Transitions 6. Take time-outs 7. Use this time as an opportunity to take stock 8. Look at yourself creatively 9. Consider your possibilities in a new light 10.Experiment a little every day (starting today)

Try experimenting with the following: Take a different route to work tomorrow Spend your lunch hour in a totally new way Move your desk Allow yourself to pause for a count of three the next time someone asks you a question today, and reply differently from what you would customarily say Plan to do something this weekend you’ve never done

Try experimenting with the following: Ask somebody that question you’ve always wanted to ask him or her Next time you’re in a restaurant, order something you’ve never had before

Try experimenting with the following: Take a three-minute break every hour (or five minutes every two hours) today Find at least one occasion when someone is talking about how things have to be a certain way and ask “why?” Look for a chance to say “why not?” to someone who says something can’t be done