How you can Win over Problematic People Dolly Monroe

Outline A) Characteristics of Problematic People B) Natural Response to Problematic People C) Understanding them (Root Causes of their Behavior) D) God's Formula for Dealing with Problematic People

Characteristics of Problematic People Plagued by Problems Bad Attitude - Bitter, Depressed, Black Cloud Syndrome Bad choices – alienate themselves, reject help when offered, reject advice Talk incessantly about their problems Blame Others for their problems

Natural Responses to Problematic People 1) Avoid them 2) Give them sermons on the need to be thankful and to “count your blessings.” 3) Complain about these difficult people to our friends.

Understanding the Cause of a Problematic Person's Behavior They have a deep hurt They are desperately screaming for love and understanding. Their behavior shouts, “I need your love.” They have forgotten or don't know how much God loves them.

Biblical Example of a Problematic Person: Naomi Problems – poor, widowed, sole survivor in her family – Ruth 1:5 Depression led her to send Orpah away – Ruth 1:8 She practically ignored Ruth's heroic sacrificial offer to stay with her – Ruth 1:18 Blamed God for her problems and gave herself a new name: “Bitter” – Ruth 1:20 Claimed to be “empty” – Ruth 1:21 Only talked of one thing: her problems.

Root Cause of Naomi's Behavior Her deep hurt over her lost loved one's. She felt that God did not love her. She was desperately screaming for love and understanding. Her behavior shouted, “I need your love.”

How Did Ruth Treat Naomi? 1. Clung to Naomi – Ruth 1:14 2. Pledged lifelong love to Naomi – Ruth 1: Provided for Naomi – Ruth 2:2 4. Shared openly with Naomi (even her private conversation with Boaz) – Ruth 2: Listened to & respected Naomi – Ruth 2:23 6. Obeyed Naomi – Ruth 3: Allowed Naomi to raise her son – Ruth 4:16

Naomi was Transformed by Ruth's Unconditional Love Ignored Ruth's offer to help Only thought of her own problems (ignored Ruth's problems) Bitter toward God Drained life from Ruth: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Accepted Ruth's offer of help 2:2 Thought of Ruth's problem(need for a husband) – 3:1 Blessed God – 4:14 Nurtured her grandson (physically, emotionally, and spiritually - 4:16

God's Formula for Dealing with a Difficult Person Love them - John 13:34 Beyond all, put on love - Colossians 3:14 Above all, have fervent love - 1 Peter 4:8

What is Love? Agape - “selfless love which will go to any length to attain the well being of its object.” “Give of yourself without expecting anything in return.” Love covers up a difficult persons sins. It doesn't expose them - 1 Peter 4:8 Love shows up in your actions: “deed and truth” 1 John 3:18 The ability to love comes from God - 1 John 4:7-10 If you cannot love, you do not know God - 1 John 4:7-10

What does God's love look like? 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 God's Love is patient. God's love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. God's love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Key to Responding to Difficult people in Love A) Receive God's river of love – John 4:14 1) A dmit you are a sinner – Romans 3:23 2) B elieve that Jesus died for your sins and rose again on the third day – 1 Corinthians 15:2.3 3) C onfess him as your Savior – Romans 10:9-10 B) Repent (from having responded in the flesh rather than in love - Psalm 51:10 C) Walk in the love of God – Ephesians 4:1-2

God's Promise of Success Love Never Fails! 1 Corinthians 13:8

Take the “30 Day Challenge” For the next 30 days: You can't say anything negative about the difficult person.. to the difficult person... or to anyone else. Say something that you admire or appreciate about the difficult person, to the difficult person...and to someone else.

With God's Love flowing in and through you, you will Win over Problematic People!!