“I Make You Sick & You Get On My Nerves: Communication In Marital Conflict” Family Focus Series Topical Sermon on the Book of Proverbs Hiram R. Orama Jr. July 5th, 2015

None of us are pure in heart and clear of sin. Proverbs 20:9 “Who can say, ‘I have kept my heart pure; I am clean and without sin?’ ”

What is the benefit to following God’s wisdom in the midst of marital conflict?

If we are willing to take heed to God’s advice, then our marriages can become stronger and more enjoyable. Proverbs 24:3-4 “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.”

We must recognize that conflict will persist as long as pride is present. Proverbs 13:10 “Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.” Proverbs 16:18 “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”

Each individual must understand that our words can build up our spouses or tear them down. Proverbs 12:18 “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 18:21 “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

We must learn to think before we speak. It is wise to bite our tongues. Proverbs 10:19 “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” Proverbs 17:27-28 “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.”

We must be patient and bear with each other in love. Proverbs 12:16 “A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.” Proverbs 19:11 “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.”

We must learn to actively listen and seek to understand our spouse. Proverbs 18:2 “A fool finds no pleasure in understanding, but delights in airing his own opinions.” Proverbs 18:13 “He who answers before listening – that is his folly and his shame.”

You must be open and honest with your spouse, and allow them to open and honest with you. Proverbs 24:26 “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.” Proverbs 27:5-6 “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”

We must always be ready and willing to forgive each other, never repaying evil with evil. Proverbs 20:22 “Do not say, ‘I’ll pay you back for this wrong!’ Wait for the LORD, and He will deliver you.” Proverbs 26:20 “Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.”

Proverbs 9:10 “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding”.