PREVENTING BULLYING IN CHILD CARE SETTINGS Reference:

GOAL: CAREGIVERS WILL ACQUIRE SKILLS TO CREATE ENVIRONMENTS SAFE FROM BULLYING FORM STRATEGIES TO DEAL WITH BULLYING INCIDENTS BEFORE, DURING AND AFTER THEY OCCUR; TAKE STEPS TO CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT THAT DOES NOT TOLERATE OR ACCEPT BULLYING; HELP CHILDREN UNDER THEIR CARE DEVELOP SOCIAL SKILLS THEY NEED TO DEAL WITH BULLYING WHEN IT OCCURS

 Learning to get along with others is a life skill  Child care is the first place many children begin to socialize  It is ultimately the providers’ responsibility to keep children safe in an environment that is bully-free  You also have the power to shape whether children develop behavior that leads to bullying

Child care is also where many children have their first experience of being bullied or victimized If bullying behavior is not addressed:  These behavior patterns can persist into adolescence and adulthood  The behaviors can become increasingly more violent

WHAT IS BULLYING?

 Children differ in size, skill level, family experiences  When they get together, patterns of hurtful behavior can emerge  Making mean faces, saying threatening things, grabbing, pushing, falsely accusing, and refusing to play with others may be precede full blown bullying if it becomes repeated and deliberate (see chart next slide)

BULLYING: Deliberate (on purpose) Repeated (more than once) Power imbalance (unequal—one is weaker) VERBAL (WORDS) PHYSICAL (ACTIONS) RELATIONAL (FRIENDSHIPS) CYBERBULLYING (SOCIAL MEDIA) Yelling Taunting Insulting Hitting Pushing Kicking Excluding Spreading rumors Turning other friends against you Spreading hurtful messages by internet or cell phones

Boysgirls May pattern their behavior from family members or media characters They see how to dominate and target weaker peers Some learn the behavior from being dominated or intimidated If they recognize that using force to control others works, the level and number of others he will try to control will increase Other children who see this behavior succeed will likely join in Generally use more sophisticated and subtle forms of behavior to manipulate (exclusion, rumor spreading or secret telling, threatening not to play with friends if they don’t do what they want) See case study next slide…

Five year-old Vicky waited for all her friends to get their lunches and sit at the table. Then she asked them to raise their hands if they liked chocolate. She raised her hand, and everyone followed. Next she said, “Raise your hand if you like spaghetti.” She raised her hand, and once again so did everyone else. Finally she said, “Raise your hand if you like Carmen.” She didn’t raise her hand, and neither did any of the other girls at the table. Carmen, who was seated near the end, began to cry.* (p. 236) *Kaiser, B., & Rasminsky, J.S. (2007). Challenging behavior in young children: Understanding, preventing, and responding effectively (2nd ed.). Boston: Pearson Education.

Strategies Developing Social Skills

 Requires changing behavior of individuals  Must utilize effective strategies  Everyone must understand that bullying is harmful, unacceptable, and preventable  It is everyone’s responsibility to stop bullying behavior

Stepwise approach + Consistent messages = Safe environment for all

 Systematic  Thoughtful  Planned

1. Lay Groundwork 2. Team Approach 3. Shared Vision 4. Inclusive Environment 5. Clear Policies & Procedures Assess beliefs Start the conversation Helps develop Policies & procedures Build feelings: responsibility for each other Avoid isolating Buddy systems older & younger kids Develop statement that describes your philosophy Builds commitment & responsibility Everyone feels safe & included Appreciate diversity Code of conduct Include discipline policy Con- sequences for behavior

6. Communicate Program-wide 7. Supervise Responsibly 8. Speak Out 9. Education / Training 10. Involve Parents Post rules Communicate to staff/parents Identify areas of high risk Maintain adequate staff Respond promptly Encourage speaking out (don’t label as “tattling” May have to arrange private way for reporting Make topic regular part of staff training & education Communi- cate openly Let them know you take this seriously Provide policies

 Bullying is not acceptable and will not be tolerated  Working together, bullying can be stopped  It is important to report bullying—this is not ‘tattling’  If a bully bothers you: It is ok to stand up for yourself but fighting will only encourage more violence Walk away Ask a friend or adult for help

 Bullying damages the physical, emotional, and social well being of its victims  It also hurts the bully, because it affects their future social and emotional development  Bullying usually begins in preschool years, but does not have to be part of growing up!

 Children need to be able to: Consider and resolve social problems Stand up for themselves in a respectful way without attacking Understand and respond in a caring way to what others think and feel  Child care is a setting where they can feel safe learning these skills

 Children learn eagerly when they know something is important and have good examples they can understand  Take age and developmental level into consideration  Presentations, modeling behavior, storytelling, videos, and games are all effective ways to teach social skills

 The three most important social skills for preventing bullying are: Problem solving Empathy Assertiveness

 Prepare yourself with age-appropriate resources  Use demonstration, illustrated stories, to help them understand problem solving concepts  Use “what would happen if…” to help them think of several solutions and pick the best one  Help them find real situations to practice with

 Practice with situations involving bullying  Accept their feelings (frustration, anger, fear) and find non-hurtful ways to express them. Let them know violence is not ok  Teach and model calming techniques to practice self-control  Teach and model listening skills  Children will react to situations the way they practice

 Create an atmosphere of acceptance for children to express feelings including how actions make others feel  Use stories, pictures, puppets to ask children how something would make them feel and what could be done to make the character feel better  Explain that while people may look different, they share the same feelings sometimes

 When one child is in distress, remind others how they have felt in similar situations (falling on playground, etc)  Point out situations where children are trying to comfort other children or staff are comforting someone. Discuss how it makes both people feel better.

 Encourage children to talk to each other when solving conflicts instead of going through the staff.  Teach children how to ask for and offer things politely  Teach children it is ok to say “no” politely and how to accept a “no” politely by respecting the answer.

 Look for events that arise as opportunity to reinforce skills  Teach children to try standing up for themselves first, but get help of adult if needed  Make sure they understand assertiveness is done in a respectful way See examples next slide…

Bullying (Provoking) Giving In (Submissive) Hurting Back (Aggressive) Standing Up (Assertive) Bully roughly cuts in line in front of Victim. Victim steps back, puts head down, and says nothing. Victim shoves Bully out of line and says, “You jerk!” Victim stands tall and says, “This is my place. No cutting allowed.” Bully grabs a candy bar that Victim is holding. “Give me that!” Victim lets Bully take the candy bar and timidly says, “O.K.” Victim angrily replies, “Your mother is ugly.” Victim calmly looks at Bully and says, “You’re just wasting your breath trying to make me mad.” Reprinted from

Bullying (Provoking) Giving In (Submissive) Hurting Back (Aggressive) Standing Up (Assertive) Bully whispers to pals, “If you want to be my friend, you can’t play with (name of Victim).” Victim finds out, sits alone at a table and says, “I guess I have to eat by myself.” Victim finds out and tells a nasty rumor about Bully. Victim talks privately with Bully and says, “I know you’re talking about me behind my back, and I don’t like it.” Bully tells Victim, “You stink on first base. I’m taking over. Out of my way, stupid.” Victim says, “Sorry I messed up,” and hands his glove to the Bully. Victim shouts, “Who are you calling stupid, you big moron!” Victim stays on base and says, “I’m playing first base for the rest of the game.” Reprinted from

“If there is anything we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.” - Carl Jung

 In order to create environments that are safe from bullying, we need strategies to use before, during, and after bullying occurs  Bullying must not be accepted and tolerated  We can help children develop the social skills they are going to need in life

 Books Articles Reports Websites  actagainstviolence.apa.org - audio, video, and training materials to use to teach young children (ages 0 to 8) nonviolent problem-solving actagainstviolence.apa.org  - prevention/intervention strategies for parents, children (ages 9 to 13), teachers, other school staff, and health and safety professionals.  Many more…

 Questions  Evaluation THANK YOU!!