Developing Parenting Skills

Exploring Parenting Skills… A caregiver may be a grandparent, aunt or uncle, older sibling, child care worker or foster parents. A caregiver may be a grandparent, aunt or uncle, older sibling, child care worker or foster parents. The caregiver’s role is to love, care for and guide a child. The caregiver’s role is to love, care for and guide a child. Not everyone has these qualities and skills to care for a child effectively, but they can develop them. Not everyone has these qualities and skills to care for a child effectively, but they can develop them. Children need parents who allow them to explore and make mistakes. Children need parents who allow them to explore and make mistakes.

The 7 Basic Parenting Skills… Developing Patience Developing Patience Confidence Confidence Taking a Realistic Approach Taking a Realistic Approach Resourcefulness Resourcefulness Sense of Humor Sense of Humor Sensitivity Sensitivity Working as a Team Working as a Team

1. Developing Patience… 1 st step is deciding how patient you are. 1 st step is deciding how patient you are. Knowing if you are patient or not can be seen in your daily actions. Knowing if you are patient or not can be seen in your daily actions. If you ask yourself how you act in certain situations, it helps you see if you have good or bad patience. If you ask yourself how you act in certain situations, it helps you see if you have good or bad patience. Paying attention to your actions is way to look at patience and ask others how they see you. Paying attention to your actions is way to look at patience and ask others how they see you. If you are upset, stop and count to ten and make a fresh start. If you are upset, stop and count to ten and make a fresh start.

2. Confidence… To keep a family in course, parents must first believe in themselves. To keep a family in course, parents must first believe in themselves. When parents have faith in their abilities, they believe in themselves and have the courage to act. When parents have faith in their abilities, they believe in themselves and have the courage to act. If parents lack confidence then they are afraid to make decisions. If parents lack confidence then they are afraid to make decisions. Not acting means that events happen without control or guidance. Not acting means that events happen without control or guidance. Sensing that no one is in charge makes children feel confused and insecure. Sensing that no one is in charge makes children feel confused and insecure.

How to Build Confidence …  You gain confidence from success, but it takes confidence to risk trying something that may result in failure.  Realize that you will never be successful unless you try; always try again.  Identify your strengths and past successes to inspire you to seek new challenges.  Talk with friends and relatives about any self doubts and setbacks you might have to increase your confidence level.  Increase your knowledge; it arms you to make decisions more quickly & easily.  Help build the confidence of others.

3.Taking a Realistic Approach… Have reasonable expectations for your children. Realistic parents encourage children without frustrating or pressuring them. Have reasonable expectations for your children. Realistic parents encourage children without frustrating or pressuring them. Have reasonable expectations for yourself ; do not try to be perfect. Have reasonable expectations for yourself ; do not try to be perfect. Live by your own standards rather than those of others. Live by your own standards rather than those of others. Accept truths about children. Accept truths about children. Aim for a realistic attitude; developing a few useful thinking habits is when you can start thinking realistically. Aim for a realistic attitude; developing a few useful thinking habits is when you can start thinking realistically.

4. Resourcefulness… Resourceful parents recognize what is useful to them. Resourceful parents recognize what is useful to them. Resources can be ideas, time, money, skills, possessions and other people. Resources can be ideas, time, money, skills, possessions and other people. You can conserve resources to make them last or you can stretch resources by combining or trading them with other people. You can conserve resources to make them last or you can stretch resources by combining or trading them with other people. Learning to recognize your resources and how you can use them is the 1 st step to becoming resourceful. Learning to recognize your resources and how you can use them is the 1 st step to becoming resourceful.

5. Sense of Humor… Seeing the lighter side of life is a must for parenting and benefits both parents and children. Seeing the lighter side of life is a must for parenting and benefits both parents and children. Humor can ease a tense situation. Humor can ease a tense situation. Children need to feel free to express themselves and to risk making mistakes. Children need to feel free to express themselves and to risk making mistakes. Parents who model humor help children gain a healthy, balanced, and positive perspective on life. Parents who model humor help children gain a healthy, balanced, and positive perspective on life.

Developing a Sense of Humor… Most people have a sense of humor, but how it is handled is the real question. Most people have a sense of humor, but how it is handled is the real question.  You can make fun of yourself or a situation, but never another person or a child.  Children are hurt when someone laughs at them.  Make sure your sense of humor does not hurt a child.

6. Sensitivity… Sensitive parents try to see through a child’s eyes before they react. Sensitive parents try to see through a child’s eyes before they react. To develop sensitivity: To develop sensitivity:  Listen to what you say and how you say it.  Think about why a person is saying or doing something.  Develop caring mannerisms.

7. Working As a Team… No matter what you do in life, learning to work with others is a skill you will need. No matter what you do in life, learning to work with others is a skill you will need. Parenting is a team effort that begins with the family and extends to those who provide support. Parenting is a team effort that begins with the family and extends to those who provide support. Learning teamwork helps you work with anyone who may support and advise you as a parent. Learning teamwork helps you work with anyone who may support and advise you as a parent.  To become a team player: – You must find ways to work with others. You need to treat others how you want to be treated. want to be treated.

Ways to Learn all of These Skills… Learning from others… Learning from others…  Many people learn to parent by example:  Learn from your parents.  Learn from role models in your life.  Using good judgment…  Anything that harms children should be avoided.  Mistakes may be made; we learn from our mistakes. mistakes.  Strive to do a good job!

Parenting Publications can: Parenting Publications can: –Help by reading books and magazines –Can provide resources from experts

Learning through experience: Learning through experience:  The more you learn ahead of time, the easier it will be to make decisions with any children you may have or care for. Learning through the classroom: Learning through the classroom:  The number of parenting classes is increasing to help parents before they have children or to teach them ways to raise the children they have.

Learning by observation: Learning by observation:  By watching parents interact with children.  shows you both positive and negative ways  Take note so not to repeat negatives  Things to look for when observing children:  Efforts a child makes to accomplish a task.  Conversations among children.

Observations Write or describe observations in objective language. Write or describe observations in objective language. Objective- uses facts, not personal feelings, to describe things. The observation JUST describes what the observer saw and heard— nothing more. Objective- uses facts, not personal feelings, to describe things. The observation JUST describes what the observer saw and heard— nothing more. Subjective- uses personal feelings and opinions, rather than facts, to judge or describe things. Subjective- uses personal feelings and opinions, rather than facts, to judge or describe things.

Which observation is objective? Four year old Ben was pushing a truck along the floor. Melissa, age 3, took the truck away from him and began to load it with toy logs. Ben watched for a minute and then said, ”I had it first. Give it back.” Ben was happily playing with the truck when Melissa rudely wrenched it away. Ben didn’t cry or get angry. You could tell he was older and more mature because he simply demanded the truck back.

Objective or Subjective? Robbie is sitting in the sandbox. He reaches out and takes a truck away from Eric. Eric grabs for the truck, but Robbie pulls it away. “It’s my turn now,” says Robbie, looking Eric straight in the face. Robbie is sitting in the sandbox. He reaches out and takes a truck away from Eric. Eric grabs for the truck, but Robbie pulls it away. “It’s my turn now,” says Robbie, looking Eric straight in the face. Robbie is feeling selfish. He won’t let anyone play with the toys in the sandbox. He gets mad at Eric a lot. Robbie is feeling selfish. He won’t let anyone play with the toys in the sandbox. He gets mad at Eric a lot.

Identify the subjective and objective points of this observation: Identify the subjective and objective points of this observation: Sarah was happy when she arrived today. She was smiling and singing a song. When her mother left, she began to play. She did not like the way Ron played with the blocks, so she hit him. Sarah was happy when she arrived today. She was smiling and singing a song. When her mother left, she began to play. She did not like the way Ron played with the blocks, so she hit him.

Activity? Clip a photo from a magazine showing at least 2 children. Imaging you are viewing the scene. Write an observation of it. Clip a photo from a magazine showing at least 2 children. Imaging you are viewing the scene. Write an observation of it.

Should people have to pass a “written test” to become parents? Working in pairs… Working in pairs… –Create a 10 questions “written test” people must take before being allowed to have children –Include multiple choice, true-false/or essay –Need to include an answer key