TRAUMA-INFORMED PRACTICES FOR ADDRESSING TEEN DATING VIOLENCE AS A COMMUNITY Presented by Megan Kovacs Education Coordinator, Raphael House of Portland

What is Teen Dating Violence? A pattern of behaviors, including physical, emotional and social abuse, used to hold and maintain power and control over a partner within the context of a dating relationship.

What is Teen Dating Violence? Dating Violence includes: –Emotional and psychological abuse –Verbal abuse –Physical abuse –Social abuse –Sexual abuse

Who is affected by dating violence? Dating violence happens in all types of relationships. Persons of any class, culture, religion, sexual orientation, and gender identity can be victims or perpetrators of dating violence.

Addressing Dating Violence with Teen vs. Adult Survivors: A Trauma-Informed Approach Find a partner and discuss: Societal assumptions and stereotypes of teenagers and their relationships. Differences and similarities between teen vs. adult relationships. How might experiences of dating and abuse differ for teens?

Additional Barriers for Teens: Fewer resources Lack of knowledge of resources Same school/peer group Fear of telling parents/authority Social power Seeking help from peers Less relationship experience Relationships aren’t taken seriously

Warning Signs

Feeling confused/crazy Feels like a failure for not being able to keep partner happy Feels disconnected from support systems/no where to turn Emotional numbing Anxiety Constant worry about partner’s reaction

Warning Signs –Confusion of love with violence –Unhealthy relationship models –Normalizing violence –Confusion of love with jealousy/possessiveness –Worried about hanging out with other people/going places with friends

Warning Signs –Increased sexual activity/pregnancy –Substance abuse –Uncooperative with adults –Antisocial behavior/isolated from friends/family –Do not focus on/or recognize own needs –Constantly calling/texting partner to check in –No longer involved in school or extracurricular activities

Addressing Teen Dating Violence in Your School

Socio-Ecological Model

Risk Factors Conditions or characteristics that increase the likelihood of domestic and sexual violence Adoption of oppressive norms that may increase the likelihood of perpetration.

Sample Risk Factors Individual Hypermasculine gender identity Relationship Friends condone violence & objectification of women Community Acceptance of violence, rape myths, objectification of women Institutional Schools lack clear policies addressing gender based violence Societal Exposure to media messages that objectify women

Protective Factors Conditions or characteristics that decrease the likelihood of domestic and sexual violence Changes we can start making in our own schools, right now!

Sample Protective Factors Individual Classes addressing the value of equality Relationship Develop and enhance strong, supportive healthy peer relationships Community Promote positive community norms within school community Institutional Clear school policies addressing and recognizing gender based violence Societal Accurate messages about healthy sexuality and relationships

Stages of Community Readiness: Where is YOUR School At? Pre Awareness (What violence?) Denial (Maybe it exists, but not here, not us!) Vague Awareness (…really?) Preplanning (Where would we begin?) Planning (Let’s have that measuring tape!) Initiation –Stabilization Confirmation –Expansion »Sustainability

If you suspect Teen Dating Violence: Ask questions. –How are things going in your relationship? –Do you feel like you can be yourself and make your own decisions in your relationship? –Has your partner ever called you names? –Put you down? – Embarrassed you in front of other people? – Do you think your partner respects you? –How do they demonstrate that respect?

If you suspect Teen Dating Violence: Tell them it’s not their fault. –Most abusers, teen and adult, will make the survivor feel like it is his or her fault that the violence is happening. Insist on the opposite. Abuse is a choice, and everyone deserves to feel safe in relationships. Give resources, not advice. –Empower the teen to make a healthy choice. Give options, not suggestions.

Trauma-Informed Teen Specific Advocacy Respect –Don’t talk down to teens! –Honor their experiences as you would with an adult Be consistent –If you make an appointment, keep it. Normalize suggestions of support –Use phrases like, “other teens have told me…” or “I once worked with a teen who found this helpful.”

Trauma-Informed Teen Specific Advocacy Affirm, don’t correct. –Teens shut down when adults correct them –Praise assertive qualities and statements Switch it up –If something isn’t working, try a different approach Use group activities and support

Trauma-Informed Teen Specific Advocacy Support need for autonomy Recognize challenges of confidentiality –Discuss mandatory reporting

Trauma-Informed Teen Specific Advocacy The importance of healthy relationships and healthy sexuality –Discuss what they deserve from a partner –Rights everyone has in relationships Respect Trust Healthy communication Support Healthy sexuality and consent

Everyday Interventions: Encourage discussions of healthy relationships and healthy sexuality in your schoolEncourage discussions of healthy relationships and healthy sexuality in your school Challenge gender norms; especially those that support a connection between masculinity, violence and controlChallenge gender norms; especially those that support a connection between masculinity, violence and control If you recognize that a student’s relationship seems unhealthy, ask questions!If you recognize that a student’s relationship seems unhealthy, ask questions! If a student seems afraid of their partner or what their partner might say or do, ask about it!If a student seems afraid of their partner or what their partner might say or do, ask about it! If a student is having behavioral issues or problems in school, consider that it could be because of dating or sexual violenceIf a student is having behavioral issues or problems in school, consider that it could be because of dating or sexual violence

Contact Information For more information about educational resources, TEEN presentations or questions about this training: Megan Kovacs Education Coordinator T: x 317 E: Listen. Believe. Speak Out.

Teen Specific Resources Websites: –Love is Respect (Live peer chat!): –Break the Cycle: –That’s Not Cool: –A Thin Line (MTV): –Love is Not Abuse:

Teen Specific Resources Gateway Center for Domestic Violence Services Teen Advocate: Lesley Ramos

Teen Specific Resources TEEN: Teen Education and Empowerment Network TEEN is a coalition of advocates from local domestic and sexual violence agencies working collaboratively to provide outreach, education, and resources to help youth recognize the warning signs of unhealthy relationships and make safe choices. Megan: to find out about