CREATING AND RESPONDING TO MESSAGES EMOTIONS CH 4

EMOTIONS ARE THE THINGS WE FEEL, OUR PASSIONS, SENTIMENTS AND SENSATIONS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE- IS THE ABILITY TO UNDERSTAND AND MANAGE ONE’S OWN EMOTIONS AND TO BE SENSITIVE TO OTHER’S FEELINGS HOW WE FEEL INFLUENCES HOW WE COMMUNICATE WHAT ARE EMOTIONS?

Physiological Changes Nonverbal Reactions Cognitive Interpretations Verbal Expressions COMPONENTS TO EMOTIONS

PERSONALITY CULTURE BIOLOGICAL SEX AND GENDER SOCIAL CONVENTIONS SOCIAL ROLES FEAR OF SELF-DISCLOSURE EMOTIONAL CONTAGION Influences on Emotional Expression

RECOGNIZE YOUR FEELINGS-IDENTIFY YOUR SPECIFIC EMOTIONS CHOOSE THE LANGUAGE-EXPAND YOUR EMOTIONAL VOCABULARY WITHOUT OVER QUALIFYING OR DOWN PLAYING WHAT YOU FEEL SHARE MULTIPLE FEELINGS-EVEN IF THEY ARE OPPOSITES RECOGNIZE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FEELING AND ACTING-YOU DON’T HAVE TO ACT ON YOUR EMOTIONS Guidelines for Expressing Emotions

ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS-USE “I” LANGUAGE CHOOSE THE BEST TIME AND PLACE TO EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS-WAIT FOR THE FIRST “FLUSH” OF FEELING TO SUBSIDE BEFORE YOU EXPRESS YOURSELF. Guidelines for Expressing Emotions (cont.)

FACILITATIVE EMOTIONS-EMOTIONS THAT CONTRIBUTE TO EFFECTIVE FUNCTIONING AND COMMUNICATION DEBILITATIVE EMOTIONS-EMOTIONS THAT HINDER OR PREVENT EFFECTIVE PERFORMANCE AND COMMUNICATION THOUGHTS CAUSE FEELINGS-HOW WE THINK ABOUT THINGS DETERMINES HOW WE FEEL ABOUT THEM SELF-TALK-THE NON VOCAL, INTERNAL MONOLOGUE THAT IS OUR PROCESS OF THINKING Managing Difficult Emotions

FALLACY OF PERFECTION-BELIEVE A WORTHWHILE COMMUNICATOR SHOULD BE ABLE TO HANDLE ANY SITUATION WITH CONFIDENCE AND SKILL EX. “DON’T LIKE TO ADMIT THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO” FALLACY OF APPROVAL-GO TO INCREDIBLE LENGTHS TO SEEK ACCEPTANCE FROM OTHERS EVEN TO THE EXTENT OF SACRIFICING YOUR OWN HAPPINESS EX.”ALLOW THE NEED TO PLEASE OTHER’S DICTATE YOUR HAPPINESS” FALLACY OF SHOULD-THE INABILITY TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN “WHAT IS” AND WHAT “SHOULD BE” EX. “FULL OF COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE WORLD AND PEOPLE” FALLACY OF OVERGENERALIZATION-WHEN A PERSON BASES A BELIEF ON A LIMITED AMOUNT OF EVIDENCE EX. “MAKES A LARGE CLAIM BASED ON LIMITED INFORMATION” Fallacies-Irrational Thinking

FALLACY OF CAUSATION-BELIEVE THAT THEY SHOULD DO NOTHING THAT CAN HURT OR CAUSE UNDESIRABLE FEELINGS. EX. "DON'T STAND UP FOR YOURSELF” FALLACY OF HELPLESSNESS-SUGGEST THAT FORCES BEYOND OUR CONTROL DETERMINE SATISFACTION IN LIFE. EX. "CONTINUALLY SEEING YOURSELF AS A VICTIM” FALLACY OF CATASTROPHIC EXPECTATIONS-A CONSTANT FEARFUL ASSUMPTION THAT SOMETHING BAD IS GOING TO HAPPEN. EX. "WHEN PEOPLE WON’T MOVE FORWARD BECAUSE OF THE FEAR OF SOMETHING THAT HASN’T HAPPENED” Fallacies-Irrational Thinking (cont.)

MONITOR YOUR EMOTIONAL REACTIONS NOTE ACTIVATING EVENTS-NOTE THE THINGS THAT TRIGGER YOUR DEBILITATIVE WAY OF THINKING Specific people Types of individuals Settings Topics of conversation RECORD YOUR SELF-TALK-START WITH WRITING DOWN YOUR THOUGHTS DISPUTE YOUR IRRATIONAL BELIEFS Decide whether the thought is irrational or not Explain why it doesn’t make sense Write down an alternative way of thinking that is more sensible and put that thought into action the next time you experience that activating event Minimizing Debilitative Emotions