Revision as a Social Activity in the Classroom Kalyn Fowler Miami East High School Honors Juniors Standard Juniors & Seniors

Core Values Student-Centered Classroom Value of Questions Lifelong Learning

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What does revision mean to you ? What do you think revision means to your students ?

Revision Surveys “I think revision means to make changes or slightly alter.” “Revision involves the grammar aspect, as well as the content. You must check for errors, but you must also check for validity of information.” “To be honest, pure laziness keeps me from revising.” “That’s a hard question.”

Why should revision be a social activity? Think about your classroom before and after the bell. What did you do in school? My Aha! Moment: Students talk naturally about their ideas.

Noteworthy Discussion “I just need to elaborate more.” “I think you could go more in depth with that.” “So what’s your thesis?” …“Do you think the girls will win tonight?”

Peer Conferences (Values: Student-centered class & Questions) Focus Class brainstorm

Peer Conferences (Values: Student-centered class & Questions)  Three areas  Peer Feedback Reflections Choice

Explode the moment Focus Weed the garden Lovely Language Strategies

Expert Peer Review (Values: Student-centered class & Questions) Time Commitment  Mini Lessons=Jobs  Strategies

Expert Peer Review (Values: Student-centered class & Questions) Modeling Each job Effective comments

Expert Peer Review (Values: Student-centered class & Questions)  Groups 1- …  Choice / Assigned  Collect & Trade Exact numbers? Class Job

Expert Peer Review (Values: Student-centered class & Questions) 1. Thesis, Topic Sentences, & Transitions Name_______________ Thesis is clear & arguable (is not a question & takes a direct position on the topic) Topic Sentences support the thesis. Offer suggestions if they do not. Transition sentences provide smooth connections between paragraphs. Offer suggestions where there are not transitions. Comments: ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________

Expert Peer Review (Values: Student-centered class & Questions)  “Can we have more time?”  “Are we going to do expert peer review?”  “I like expert peer review because I only have to focus on one or two main things.”  “I like reading everyone’s comments.”

Expert Peer Review (Values: Student-centered class & Questions)  Students take ownership.  Managing the paper load?

Mini Conferences (Values: Student-centered class & Questions)

Revision Mentors (Values: Questions & Lifelong Learning) Anne Lamott Tina Fey Steve Jobs

W ALTER I SAACSON : S TEVE J OBS “He said they would redo the layout [that they had tirelessly constructed for six months], even though it would likely delay the planned January rollout by three or four months. ‘We’ve only got one chance to get it right.’” Jobs liked to tell the story […] about how everything that he had done correctly had required a moment when he hit the rewind button. In each case he had to rework something that he discovered was not perfect.”

Independence …are they talking to themselves? Checklists Build together

Revision Checklist  Clear thesis / response to essential question  Word Choice, Voice, & Style reflect personality  Transitions & Focus  Varied sentence structure  Not all same length or punctuated similarly  No quotes longer than 3 lines  Engaging introduction / first lines  Conclusion answers: so what? Lingering Last Lines

Editing Checklist  MLA  Heading, Header, 1”, Double, Times, Paragraph Spacing (no large spaces between)  In-text & Works Cited / Bibliography  Fragments & Run-ons  Words to Avoid  SPA (subject-pronoun agreement)  Verb Tense (stay present unless it happened in the past in the story)

Independence (Values: Questions & Lifelong Learning) Dating Drafts Write in class Hold essays Revise in class

Informal Conferences (Values: Student-centered class & Questions) Teacher Peer “I think I have a thesis.” “It’s an outline. It doesn’t have to be perfect.” “Yay for team thinking!”

Feedback (Values: Student-centered class & Questions) Quick Reflections Formal Self-evaluations Successes Frustrations

Second Surveys “I think revision means to make changes or slightly alter.” “Revision means re-reading an essay or work of writing to look for grammatical errors, rearrange paragraphs or sentences for better organization and fluency, making sure everything has a smooth flow, and check the main points if they do or do not tie back to the thesis, change and reevaluate support and analysis.”

Results Improvement Quality, depth, effort 90% spent more time revising and revised over 20% more of their writing 100% valued conferencing

Moving Forward (Values: Student-centered class, questions, Lifelong Learning) Adapt strategies Student feedback Teach the language— they will talk.

Works Cited Fey, Tina. Bossypants. New York: Little, Brown and Company, Print. Hubbard, Ruth Shargoury, and Brenda Miller Power. The Art of Classroom Inquiry. Portsmouth: Heinemann, Print. Isaacson, Walter. Steve Jobs. New York: Simon & Schuster, Print. Lamott, Anne. Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life. New York: Pantheon Books, Print.