Positive Communication with Parents- An Ounce of Prevention Taken from Dealing with Difficult Parents and With Parents in Difficult Situations and With Parents in Difficult Situations By Todd Whitaker and Douglas J. Fiore TIA7

Every teacher dreads this type of situation. Every parent dreads this situation. But, with a little work and planning, this, and many other unpleasant interactions with parents can be avoided. How? By developing positive communication with the parents right from the start. By first establishing this type of positive rapport, all future interactions will be taken seriously and generally without challenge. As a result of this rapport, your parents now know you and they begin to understand that you are willing to create a partnership with them to do the best for their child. It’s still September and you’re beginning to have problems with one of the students already, significant problems. Problems that warrant a phone call to mom or dad. You know that you need to let them know what’s going on, but you procrastinate. You feel awful that you haven’t even met the parents yet and you have to call and give these virtual strangers the bad news of “Your child is having trouble making good decisions in school.” Building Credibility with Positive Contact

Relationship building is an essential element for student success; not only between teacher and student but between the teacher and the student's parents or guardians as well. An important aspect of the relationship building process is positive and effective communication and support. Building Credibility with Positive Contact

Show You Care Parents see educators who consistently communicate positive news to them as educators who truly care about their children. The more parents feel you care, the more they will listen and support you. Show you care. For effective teachers, these are words to live by. Every day, all year long, positive communication is imperative to show that you care and to get past roadblocks.

Positive Phone Calls Get into the habit of phoning parents with good news so it won’t be so difficult to call them when there is a problem to be solved. You will have already established a comfortable relationship, and parents will be more likely to listen to what you have to say. One of the most effective parent communication techniques at your disposal is a quick phone call home to let parents know how well their child is doing. It doesn’t have to be a long conversation-just a brief update and a few friendly words.

Positive Phone Calls Initiating positive contact with parents who are at work can be beneficial. Most parents who receive phone calls from the school while at work, usually have a initial reaction of “Oh, no!” When given positive or good news, their demeanor changes. They often times will share the good news with others on the job, thus spreading good sentiments about the school and you. Try to make these calls at a time when you are most likely to reach the parents. If you only reach voice mail, don’t just hang up – leave a message. Parents will be delighted to come home to a positive message.

Plan What You Will Say “ You call me with good news and you call me with bad news. You can call me anytime you want.” 1.Describe the student’s positive behavior/accomplishments. 2.Describe how you feel about the student’s positive behavior/accomplishments. 3.Ask the parent to share the content of the conversation with the student. It is important for the student to know that both you and the parent are proud.

Send Notes, Cards, and Letters 1.Keep a file of ready-to-use positive notes and preaddressed envelopes in your desk. Save ready-to- use notes on your computer. 2.Plan to send home a specific number of notes each week. 3.When writing notes, address the parents by name and mention the student’s name, too. Keep the notes brief and to the point. In addition to the phone calls, a similar approach is to send positive postcards or letters home to parents about something that their child has accomplished.

Characteristics of Effective Praise Effective Praise Authentic Specific Immediate Clean Private An effective teacher looks for opportunities to find people doing things right.

Characteristics of Effective Praise The second characteristic of effective praise is specific. The behavior we acknowledge often becomes the behavior that will be continued. If we can recognize students’ positive efforts with specific recognition, then we can help them see specific areas of value. Authentic means that we are praising students for something genuine, recognizing them for something that is true. It does not have to be earth- shattering or a magnificent accomplishment.

Characteristics of Effective Praise The fourth characteristic is clean. Clean means a couple of different things. One is that it is not clean if you are issuing it in order to get the student or parent to do something in the future. It is important to compliment students because their efforts are authentic, not just because you are hoping that they will do something different tomorrow. The third characteristic is immediate. This means recognizing positive efforts and contributions in a timely manner. This is especially important when we think of more challenging students.

Characteristics of Effective Praise The fifth descriptor of praise is private. The second requirement for praise to be clean is very challenging: It cannot include the word “but.” Don’t tie the positive with a negative. Tying the two together may reduce or even eliminate the value of the praise.

Keep a Record it is extremely important to send home positive notes to parents of students with potential academic or behavior problems. The more the parents hear good news, the greater the probability of getting their support when you need it. Because you want to be sure that all students and parents are receiving equal positive attention, it’s important to keep track of the calls you make and the notes you send. While you should not ignore the achievements of high-performing students, bear in mind that

You Never Get a Second Chance It is impossible to overestimate the goodwill that is generated by taking the time to make a positive first impression. This time and effort will be returned in a multitude of ways that will make your job easier and much more enjoyable. Communication is the key.