Addictions and the Child of God: Personal, Peer, and Pastoral Implications Minnesota District Leaders Workshop March 3, 2012 Belle Plaine, Minnesota Pastor Alan H. Siggelkow, MDiv, STM, MSW 1

Addictions and the Child of God: Personal, Peer, and Pastoral Implications Personal Addictions – Definitions – Scripture description: Abuse and Dependence – Secular: Abuse and Dependence Alcohol – The issue – An intervention strategy Personal Peer Pastoral 2

Personal Who I was Who I am Who I will be 3

Who I was 1 Corinthians 6: Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. 4

Who I am But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 5

Christ For All 2 Corinthians 5:19 19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. Who is doing the action? For how many? What has he done? What does it mean for us that God has reconciled us to himself? Through whom has he done it? 6

Christ for me Galatians 3: So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, 27 for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. How did I become a child of God? Describe what it means to be a child of God? 7

The Act of God in Christ For the world For me 1 John 1:7 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 1 John 2:1-2 1 My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. 2 He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. 8

Who I will be John 11: Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; 26 and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” 27 “Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.” 9

Sons of God – Bound for Heaven – Encourage Each Other 1 Thessalonians 2: For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, 12 encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory. 1 Thessalonians 4:18 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words. 10

In a Sinful World Romans 13: Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. 14 Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh. 11

This too, is who I am – My sinful flesh Romans 7: For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 12

My victory – in Christ! Romans 7: but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! 13

Addictions: Definitions Scripture Description – Abuse – Dependence 14

Scripture – Description - Abuse Abuse – Drunkenness is a sin 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 – 9 Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. How would you understand the words “the sexually immoral,” in the sense of the concept of abuse? 15

Addiction – Does Scripture call addiction a sin? Abuse always precedes addiction. Abuse is a sin. But I can be a recovering addict. I am not sinning with the substance or the thing as a recovering addict. The concept of being mastered by something also seems to have an active quality to it. 16

An Implied Progression: Is This a Scriptural Definition of Dependence/Addiction? Luke 21:34 34 “Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap.” This passage seems to be implying a progressive or addictive problem connected with dissipation, drunkenness, and the anxieties of life that dulls our sense of reality and our preparation for the Day of Judgment. 17

Scripture Description of Dependence: “Being Caught in a Sin” The concept of being mastered by something also seems to have an active quality to it. 2 Peter 2:19 …“people are slaves to whatever has mastered them.” 18

Being mastered by something and the First Commandment: “You shall have no other Gods.” 1 Corinthians 6:12-15 – 12 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. 13 You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! What do “not being mastered by anything” and the First Commandment say about addictions or dependence? 19

Definitions Abuse – DSM IV  A maladaptive pattern of substance use leading to clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested by one or more the following occurring with a 12-month period  Recurrent substance use resulting in a failure to fulfill major role obligations at work, school, or home  Recurrent substance use in situations in which it is physically hazardous  Recurrent substance-related legal problems  Continued substance use despite having persistent or recurrent social or interpersonal problems caused or exacerbated by the effect of the substance  The symptoms have never met the criteria for substance dependence for this class of substance 20

Definitions Dependence DSM IV A maladaptive pattern of substance use, leading to clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested by three (or more) of the following, occurring at any time in the same 12-month period: – 1. Tolerance, as defined by either of the following: a. A need for markedly increased amounts of the substance to achieve intoxication or desired effect b. Markedly diminished effect with continued use of the same amount of the substance 21

Secular Definition - continued – 2. Withdrawal, as manifested by either of the following: a. The characteristic withdrawal syndrome of the substance b. The same(or a closely related) substance is taken to relieve or avoid withdrawal symptoms – 3. The substance is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended. (One cannot predict how much one will drink once one gets started.) 22

Secular Definition - Continued – 4. There is persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance use. – 5. A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain the substance (e.g., visiting multiple doctors or driving long distances), to use the substance (chain-smoking), or to recover from its effects. – 6. Important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of substance use. 23

Secular Definition - continued 7. The substance use is continued despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent physical or psychological problem that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by the substance (e.g., current cocaine use despite recognition of cocaine-induced depression, or continued drinking despite recognition that an ulcer was made worse by alcohol consumption). 24

At Risk Alcohol Men – 14 or more drinks per week, average – 5 plus drinks on any given day in the past 12 months Women – 7 or more drinks per week, average – 4 plus drinks on any given day in the past 12 months 1 drink = 12 oz beer, 5 oz table wine, 1.5oz liquor 25

Talking To Your Member- Your Friend – Yourself – About Drinking See the handout. 26

An Alcohol Culture Within the WELS? Because of the area of the world in which we live? Because of the way we grew up? Because we believe that you have to have (serve) alcohol in order to have fun? 27

Addictions and the Child of God Part II Pornography 28

Addictions and the Child of God: Part II, Pornography Scripture Pornography Indicators Data – Men – Women – Children Shame vs. Guilt Impact on the Church Helping others – Understanding the Problem – Repentance and Hope – Encouragement Partners – “Breaking the Cycle” (Paul Mavrogeorge) – The Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary Restoration Process Look For -- WELS Connect - WELS Social Media Task Force Website. 29

Scripture Regarding Pornography Matthew 5: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Ephesians 5:3-4 3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. 4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 30

Pornography Indicators Alone with a computer – up at odd hours using computer Quick switching the computer off. Shame or fear Don’t mess with my computer! Sharing porn sites with others Impaired social relationships Strange view of the opposite sex – Objectification of the opposite sex – Gender respect problems – Relationship commitment problems Staring, stalking Tired Needs more and more stimulation to get the same high Acting out fantasies Almost none of the above. The secret sin – the hidden addiction 31

Internet Abuse -- Pornography  Porn addiction is one of the most difficult addictions to overcome. Millions of people around the world struggle with overcoming this powerful vice once they acknowledge they have a problem. Its been compared to cocaine addiction because of similar neuro-chemical activity in the brain.  Some people struggle with a masturbation addiction as well as porn addiction. Masturbating and reaching climax only strengthens your addiction to porn. If you struggle with only masturbation addiction then you still have a chemical dependency on the brain’s neuro-chemicals. You brain does not see the difference between healthy sex with your spouse and releasing the chemicals by yourself. So you become addicted to the easiest way to release the chemicals which is alone and doing the act. 32

The Role of Shame Guilt » Similarities, Differences? Shame “Stinking Thinking” – If you really knew me, you would not love me.” – I do not deserve…. – I am helpless and hopeless. – I am the only one who can help myself. – No one else knows, cares, loves, or understands. – Tension: Release and Reward 33

Pornography Industry Statistics Data From: Covenanteyes.com, 3xchurch, Leadership Magazine, through Paul Mavrogeorge. Size of the Industry $57.0 billion world-wide - $12.0 billion US Pornographic Website's 4.2 million (12% of total website's) Pornographic Pages 372 million Daily Pornographic Search Engine Requests 68 million (25% of total search engine requests) Daily Pornographic s 2.5 billion (8% of total s) Avg. Daily Pornographic s/User 4.5 per internet user Monthly Pornographic downloads (Peer-to-peer) 1.5 billion (35% of all downloads) Daily Gnutella "child pornography" requests 116 thousand Website's offering illegal child pornography 100 thousand 34

Adult Internet Porn Statistics Men admitting to accessing porn at work 20% US adults who regularly visit internet porn sites 40 million Promise Keepers men who viewed porn in the last week 53% Christians who say porn is a major problem in the home 47% Adults admitting to internet sexual addiction 10% Breakdown of male/female visitors to porn sites 72% male - 28% female 35

Women & Pornography 13% of Women admit to accessing porn at work. 70% of women keep their cyber activities secret. 17% of all women struggle with pornography addiction. Women, far more than men, are likely to act out their behaviors in real life, such as having multiple partners, casual sex, or affairs. Women favor chat rooms 2X's more than men. 1 out of 3 visitors to adult website's are women. 9.4 million women access adult website's each month. 36

Children's Exposure to Pornography Average age of first Internet exposure to pornography 11 years old Largest Consumer of Internet Pornography age group year olds having multiple hardcore exposures 80% 8-16 year olds having viewed porn online 90% (most while doing homework) 7-17 year olds who would freely give out home address 29% 7-17 year olds who would freely give out addresses 14% Children's characters linked to thousands of porn links 26 (including Pokeman and Action Man 37

IMPACT ON YOUTH In most cases, the sex sites were accessed unintentionally when a child, often in the process of doing homework This is the next big wave of difficulties with addictive and sexual issues 38

Common Outcomes Shame Impact on Sexual Development Enhance Other Addictions Marital Dysfunction 39

IMPACT ON THE CHURCH 40

Christian Population 51% of pastors say porn is a possible temptation 37% say it is a current struggle 4 in 10 pastors have visited a porn site 41

Pastor’s are at risk Large amount of time in isolation A lot of unsupervised time High amounts of pressure and stress Ministry is a great place to hide addictive tendencies 42

Pastors at Risk  In 2002, of 1,351 pastors surveyed, 54% said they had viewed Internet pornography within the last year, and 30% of these had visited within the last 30 days. Pastors.com Survey. Qtd. in “Wounded Clergy.” Hope & Freedom Counseling Services, Media A-Team, Inc., March Web. 7 Dec

Pastors and Pornography  In August 2000, Christianity Today conducted an exclusive survey of its readership—both laity and clergy—on the issue of Internet pornography:  In August 1999, 11% of the calls received on Focus on the Family's Pastoral Care Line were about pastors and online porn. In August 2000, online porn worries prompted 20% of the calls (It has risen well above 50% today)  33 percent of clergy say they have visited a sexually explicit website  Of those who have visited sexually explicit websites, 53% say they have visited the sites a few times in the past year; 18% of clergy said they visited explicit websites between “a couple of times a month” and “more than once a week.”  Among the clergy who use Internet porn, 30% do not talk to anyone about their behavior 44

Pastors and Pornography, continued In 2000, a survey of 564 pastors showed: 40% of pastors have visited a pornographic Internet site, with over 33% doing so within the last 12 months. 75% of pastors do not make themselves accountable to anyone for their Internet use Leadershipjounal.net, “The Leadership Survey Pastors and Pornography.” 45

Helping Others UNDERSTANDING THE “PROBLEM” Underlying issues 46

Not all use is “addiction” Situational use is the doorway. These individuals are simply surrendering to temptation Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ADHD 47

Sexual Addiction Interferes with normal living Increases in the amount of time Increase in the graphic nature of material Thoughts of use become intrusive and individual begins to lose the ability to choose (Hardening of the Heart) 48

Common Characteristics Shame Other addictive history Poor stress management Dysfunctional childhood Early molestation/sexual violation Trauma survivor 49

The Path to Freedom 50

Repentance Model Objective Justification – Giving the Courage to Confess Specific Law Contrition Specific Gospel is spoken and heard. Faith in Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of sins is confessed Absolution Fruits of Repentance The Joy of Christian Living (cf. Psalm 32) 51

Need for Consistent Strategy The problem has its deepest roots in youth The problem is present in different forms at different stages A multi-staged approach to the problem will make dealing with the issue a more natural process The consistent multi staged approach will help combat the sexualized culture in which we live 52

Encouragement Partners and Accountablity Software Brother to Brother --- Sister to Sister – In the Word Together – Honesty – Gospel – Oriented -- To Offer Hope – Always Available Accountability Software – Covenanteyes.com – Other Social Media? 53

Stages of Prevention Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary – Three Stage Restoration Process WELS Colleges – MLC – WLC WELS Prep Schools and Area Lutheran High Schools WELS Lutheran Elementary Schools Parental New Website Coming from the WELS Social Media Task Force – Watch for it by 12/12. 54

Referral Information – Ministry – BPS – Commission on Special Ministries Committee on Mental Health Needs When to Refer Ask a Therapist Christian or Non-Christian Counselor? Models of Therapy and its Glossary Christian Family Counseling Member Assistance Program – MAP (Wisconsin Lutheran Child and Family Services) 55

Pastoral Counseling:  Repentance  Forgiveness  Hope  In the Word  Encouragement Groups  Professional Counseling  12 step groups  WLS Restoration Process – 12 months free prior to call day with counseling  Confidentiality  Breaking the Cycle 56

Breaking the Cycle Paul Mavrogeorge The following slide can be used as a template to counsel anyone with any addiction, or even to counsel almost any area of sanctification. This is the work of Paul Mavrogeorge from his book, Breaking the Cycle. 57

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WLS Restoration Process  See handout  Three Stages 1.Prevention 2.Personal Problem-solving 3.Requested Intervention 59

How Can Districts Set Up A Restoration Process for Called Workers? For Members? Contact: WELS Committee On Mental Health Needs – Social Media Task Force through the WELS Commission on Special Ministries or Professor Alan Siggelkow Key Stages - Always Confidential (Model is the WLS Restoration Process) – Scripture – Law and Gospel – Prevention: Information that Addresses and Warns Regarding The Issue – Personal Responsibility Encouragement Partners Accountability Software – Professional Counseling – Requested Intervention: For the Good of the Ministry Contact District President – Brother to Brother or Sister to Sister Mentoring – Time To Address The Issue – In Recovery For A Set Length of Time If The Recovery Experience Is Negative, Leaving The Ministry May Be The Only Action For The Good Of The Ministry 60

Look For WELS Social Media Task Force Website – Warnings – Help for Self – Help for Others – Areas for: Parents Teens Young Adults Called Workers Pastors Counselors 61