Writing a Strong Introduction and Thesis

From “Letting Go” Sara Thomas Monopoli was pregnant with her first child when her doctors learned that she was going to die. It started with a cough and a pain in her back. Then a chest X-ray showed that her left lung had collapsed, and her chest was filled with fluid. A sample of the fluid was drawn off with a long needle and sent for testing. Instead of an infection, as everyone had expected, it was lung cancer, and it had already spread to the lining of her chest.

“Letting Go” is an essay about how we handle death and dying in the United States. So why start with an example like this? What questions are left unresolved until later?

From “Is Google Making Us Stupid?” "Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave?” So the supercomputer HAL pleads with the implacable astronaut Dave Bowman in a famous and weirdly poignant scene toward the end of Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey. Bowman, having nearly been sent to a deep- space death by the malfunctioning machine, is calmly, coldly disconnecting the memory circuits that control its artificial “ brain. “Dave, my mind is going,” HAL says, forlornly. “I can feel it. I can feel it.”Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey

From “The Cheapest Generation” I N 2009, F ORD brought its new supermini, the Fiesta, over from Europe in a brave attempt to attract the attention of young Americans. It passed out 100 of the cars to influential bloggers for a free six-month test-drive, with just one condition: document your experience online, whether you love the Fiesta or hate it.

“The Cheapest Generation” is about how Millenials don’t make major purchases in the same manner their parents did. So why not just start with some statistics, instead of this story about a Ford Fiesta?

From “The End of Men” IN THE 1970s the biologist Ronald Ericsson came up with a way to separate sperm carrying the male-producing Y chromosome from those carrying the X. Ericsson leased the method to clinics around the U.S., calling it the first scientifically proven method for choosing the sex of a child. Instead of a lab coat, he wore cowboy boots and a cowboy hat, and doled out his version of cowboy poetry.

“The End of Men” is an essay about the reversal of traditional gender roles in society, and how men and women are navigating this new landscape. So why begin by illustrating this doctor? Who cares if he wore cowboy boots?

From “Addicted to Distraction” ONE evening early this summer, I opened a book and found myself reading the same paragraph over and over, a half dozen times before concluding that it was hopeless to continue. I simply couldn’t marshal the necessary focus.

From “Taken” On a bright Thursday afternoon in 2007, Jennifer Boatright, a waitress at a Houston bar-and-grill, drove with her two young sons and her boyfriend, Ron Henderson, on U.S. 59 toward Linden, Henderson’s home town, near the Texas-Louisiana border. They made the trip every April, at the first signs of spring, to walk the local wildflower trails and spend time with Henderson’s father. This year, they’d decided to buy a used car in Linden, which had plenty for sale, and so they bundled their cash savings in their car’s center console. Just after dusk, they passed a sign that read “Welcome to Tenaha: A little town with BIG Potential!”

“Taken” is about the practice of Civil Forfeiture. So, again…why the protracted narrative? What purpose does this serve? Why not just jump straight to the thesis?

These Introductions… Create a human connection by using a specific example Leave a conflict or question open for resolution later Some allude to an event, or to a significant cultural/historical person or work. Are the “hook” to pull readers in.

Today’s Assignment I want you to have a basic thesis statement (a statement of your position) and a plan for your framing narrative. If you can begin working towards a complex thesis, or actually creating your framing narrative, then do so.

For Example: Topic: Should abortions be legal in instances of rape and incest? Basic Thesis: Abortions should be legal in instances of rape and incest. Framing Narrative Plan: I need to find a story of a woman who was impacted by rape or incest, who my reader might be sympathetic to. Complex Thesis: Banning abortions in cases of rape and incest would be a cruel and unusual punishment to women who are already victims.

Another Example: Topic: Should all illegal immigrants be deported immediately? Basic Thesis: Illegal immigrants should not all be deported at once. Framing Narrative Plan: I need to find a story of an illegal immigrant, who is sympathetic and whose deportation would affect the lives of others. Complex thesis: Unilaterally deporting 11 million undocumented workers is an unrealistic and dangerous fantasy that would irreparably damage our standing among the world’s nations.