Comfort Originality Awareness Joy Thoughtfulness Acceptance Trust Grace Appreciation The Nine Arts of Healthy Conversation™

THE NINE ARTS OF HEALTHY CONVERSATIONS™ ASSESMENT On a scale of 1-10 rate how often you practice the arts. Grace 10. I look for the best in others. 1. I’m proud to point out mistakes. Comfort 10. I meet competing needs comfortably. 1. I don’t need anything. Appreciation 10. I ‘m committed to win/win solutions. 1.I need to win. Originality 10. I know what makes me special. 1. I want to tell you a story. Thoughtfulness 10. I listen, learn, and teach from the heart. 1. I’m proud of being cynical. Awareness 10.I pay attention to what is happening in myself and my relationships. 1. I reject outsiders. Joy 10. I love the adventure of being alive. 1. I love the next thing. Trust 10. I’m authentic, fair, and reasonable. 1. Do it my way or leave. Acceptance 10. I welcome differences and disagreements. 1. I avoid conflict.

THE NINE ARTS OF HEALTHY CONVERSATIONS™ ASSESMENT Your strengths are your top three scores. Your lowest score is what is limiting you. If your top three scores are below five, pick the one you are most comfortable with and begin working with it. Building on your strengths will give you confidence and produce the most dramatic results. If your top three score are above eight, begin working with your lowest score. Filling in this gap can catapult you to the next level of your development. If your top three scores are between five and eight, consider whether you need to fill in a gap by working on your lowest score, develop confidence by working on a strength, or if your ready to expand your expertise by working on one of the other arts. Choose one art to work with at a time. Find your growing edge Begin by taking time to breathe. Take three slow even breaths. Breathe into your belly center with three deep full breaths. Breathe into your heart center with three full open breaths. Breathe into your head center with three open light breaths. Relax and keep breathing until you feel grounded and ready to see what is working for you, what isn’t and what you can do differently.

THE NINE ARTS OF HEALTHY CONVERSATIONS™ Getting Started Guide Grace Stop pointing out mistakes. Consider w hat makes something right and why. What are other’s experiences, feelings, intentions, and needs? Challenge yourself to look for what is good and what is effective. Look for courses about gratitude and forgiveness. Comfort Pay attention to what you need for your health, your emotions, and your mental stimulation. Make a commitment to self-care so that you have the abundance and experience you need to help others. Look for courses about self-care. Appreciation Stop comparing the best in yourself to the worst in others. Accept your innate value so that you can respect strengths in others. Develop reasonable expectations for your self and others. Look for the best in your self and others. Look for courses about marketing and publicity. Originality Discover what makes you special. Explore activities, foods, hobbies, places, and tasks through reading, museums, volunteering and other free events. Experiment until you can find things that you like and that make you feel strong. Look for courses on personality types, strengths, and learning styles. Here are some quick tips to start building on your strengths, minimizing your weaknesses, and expanding your capacity to thrive. You can find more ideas in the reading list, our eBook - Stop Talking and Breathe: how to be your best in any conversation, and our classes.

Thoughtfulness Balance your cynicism with an open mind. Listen to another’s experience with curiosity and respect. Test facts. Question authority. Examine beliefs. Consider possibilities that still unknown. Think, learn, and teach with compassion. Look for courses on communication. Awareness Notice what is happening in your body. Notice what you are thinking. Notice your feelings. Pay attention to the people around you. Trust yourself and your inner intuition. Learn how to speak up for yourself without putting others down. Look for courses on social justice. Joy Consider the impact of your choices. What risks are worth taking and which ones are unnecessary. Identify one, two, or three things that are most important and make sure they get the attention they need. Let yourself grieve when you need to. Look for courses on healing and meditation. Trust Equalize power. Take initiative. Give the people you are talking with equal time to listen, think, and speak. Protect vulnerability. Interrupt tirades. Develop your strengths. Practice authenticity, accuracy, and aligning your thoughts, emotions, and actions. Look for courses on leadership and discipline. Acceptance Be visible and available. Speak up for what you need and want. Invest in yourself and your relationships. Welcome differences and disagreements. Process your disappointments so that you can choose your next step wisely. Look for courses on conflict resolution.

Grace Frankl, Victor. Man’s Search for Meaning: An Introduction to Logotherapy. Pocket Books, New York Comfort Rosenberg Marshall B., Ph.D. Nonviolent communication: A language of life. Puddle Dancer Press. Encinitas, California Appreciation Covey, Stephen. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. Simon and Schuster, New York Originality Bolles, Richard N. What color is your Parachute? 2015: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers. Random House. New York Cameron, Julia. The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity. Jeremy P. Tarcher/Putnam, New York, Sher, Barbara. I Could Do Anything If Only I Knew What It Was. Dell Trade Paperback. New York Thoughtfulness Hudson, Russ and Don Riso. The Wisdom of the Enneagram. Bantam Books. New York Awareness Buckingham, Marcus and Donald O. Clifton, Ph. D. NOW, Discover Your Strengths. The Free Press. New York Joy Butler, C.T. Lawrence and Amy Rothstein. On Conflict and Consensus: A Handbook on Formal Consensus Decisionmaking Trust Fisher, Roger, William Ury, and Bruce Patton. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. Penguin Books. New York Acceptance Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence: Why it Can Matter More than IQ. Bantam Books. New York THE NINE ARTS OF HEALTHY CONVERSATIONS™ Reading List