Roster: Please verify or add your name & address, and put a checkmark next to your name. Handouts: Please pickup a copy of today’s handouts:  Syllabus  NotePages for Day #1 1 “What is love?”

 Our website, roster, and syllabus  Being Human: 7 Observations  Three components of an attitude of love  Definitions of love  Multiple Intelligences (Howard Gardner)  Love viewed within the context of Moral Community & Hierarchy of Needs (Judith Boss) (Abraham Maslow)  Three approaches to the dynamics of love (Gary Chapman, Robert Sternberg, John Lee) 2

 Our website 3

4 Observation #1

Behavior Person Environment. Behavior is a function of the Person & the Environment. Observation #2

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... by children. 8 In their definitions of love, do the children emphasize cognitions or emotions or overt behavior ?

“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.” Rebecca - age 8 9

“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.” Danny - age 7 “Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.” Noelle - age 7 10

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7 “Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.” Karl - age 5 11

What is Love? “When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.” Billy - age 4 “You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” Jessica - age 8 12

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1. Verbal/Linguistic Intelligence 2. Logical/Mathematical Intelligence 3. Visual/Spatial Intelligence 4. Bodily/Kinesthetic Intelligence 5. Musical Intelligence 6. Interpersonal Intelligence 7. Intrapersonal Intelligence 8. Naturalist Intelligence 16 Observations #5 & #6

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19 A. B. C.

20 A. B. C.

21 A. B. C. My Moral Center The Marginalized The Excluded

22 A. A. My Moral Center We accord the highest level of respect to those at our moral center. Without any effort we are mindful of their individuality, and we cherish their humanity. We seek to increase their happiness, and decrease their unhappiness. If we unintentionally hurt someone and then apologize, we may bring this up again, apologize again, and continue to feel remorse. “I feel sorry, and I feel guilty that I caused you pain.”

23 B. B. The Marginalized While we do not seek to cause them unhappiness, we realize that we cannot please everyone all the time, and that’s life. If we unintentionally hurt someone and then apologize, we will resent it if this matter is brought up again. “I have already apologized. What more do you expect me to do about it? Get over it. I was sorry at first, but now I’m starting to feel angry!”

24 C. C. The Excluded Their well-being is none of our concern, except for how it affects us. We may neglect them, ignore them, use them, or seek to hurt them for our own purposes. We dehumanize them, and we perceive them all to be essentially the same. We also may perceive that if we increase their unhappiness then we will increase our happiness. “I am proud that I hurt you.” “I feel safe now that you are incapacitated.”

25 A. B. C. My Moral Center The Marginalized The Excluded ½

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Near the top: We become more unique and cooperative. We cherish the diversity of life. Near the bottom: We are more alike and competitive. We are threatened by differences.

44 A. B. C. My Moral Center The Marginalized The Excluded

Near the top: Our Moral Center is very large and inclusive. Near the bottom: Our Moral Center is very small and exclusive.

46 A Bus Trip & A Dog’s Tail

These 3 assessments are available on our class website: Day #1, and will be the focus of much of our discussion next week. Love Assessment Totals 1. Chapman’s Languages of Love Total A ___ Total B___ Total C___ Total D___ Total E___ A: Words of Affirmation B: Quality Time C: Receiving Gifts D: Acts of Service E: Physical Touch 2. Sternberg’s Triangle Theory of Love Assessment Total I ___ Total P___ Total C___ I: Intimacy P: Passion C: Commitment 0-45: not a strong component of the relationship 60-90: a fairly strong component of the relationship : a very strong component of the relationship 3. Lee’s Love Attitudes Scale Total E___ Total L___ Total S___ Total P ___ Total M___ Total A___ 47

I will see you, again, in two weeks. Friday April 8 th. 48