1Chapter 12: Death and Loss

 Some of the aspects of death we may fear are:  Ceasing to be and losing ourselves  Leaving behind those we love  Encountering the unknown  Coping with the indignity of a painful and long dying process  Growing distant in the memories of others 2Chapter 12: Death and Loss

 Life and death are two facets of the same reality  Realization of death can revitalize our goals  Acceptance of death can lead to discovery of meaning and purpose in life  Because time on earth is limited, there is an urgency about living  Ancient Greek dictum : “Contemplate death if you would learn how to live” 3Chapter 12: Death and Loss

 There are no warning signs  People who are suicidal want to die  People who talk about suicide will not do it  Suicide is genetic  Young people are more likely than old people to commit suicide 4Chapter 12: Death and Loss

 Previous suicidal threats or comments  Giving away prized possessions  Talking about specific ways and a time plan for committing suicide  Absence of a sense of purpose in life 5Chapter 12: Death and Loss

 Chronic depression and feelings of hopelessness  Increased substance use  Extreme changes of behavior and sudden personality shifts  Isolation and withdrawal from friends and family  Getting one’s life in order 6Chapter 12: Death and Loss

 Hospice is a philosophy with the main focus on end- of-life care; It affirms life, not death  Hospice services are provided in the dying person’s home and replace more expensive and impersonal treatment options  Hospice is a form of palliative or symptom-oriented care with the goal of maximizing the present quality of living and minimizing discomfort  Hospice offers care to the patient-and-family unit 7Chapter 12: Death and Loss

 Hospice programs offer formal and informal support services for volunteers and staff members  Hospice is holistic care  The hospice approach combines professional skills and human presence through interdisciplinary teamwork  Hospices typically offer continuing care and counseling services for those who survive the death of a loved one 8Chapter 12: Death and Loss

Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a pioneer in the study of death and dying, delineated five stages of dying. They are:  Denial  Anger  Bargaining  Depression  Acceptance 9Chapter 12: Death and Loss

 Physical tasks : Coping with pain, nausea, and other physical conditions and minimizing physical distress  Psychological tasks : Maintaining autonomy, security, richness in living, and personal dignity  Social tasks : Sustaining and enhancing the interpersonal attachments valued by the dying person  Spiritual tasks : Searching for the meaning of life and suffering, connectedness, transcendence, and fostering hope 10Chapter 12: Death and Loss

1. Opening to the presence of loss 2. Dispelling misconceptions about grief 3. Embracing the uniqueness of grief 4. Exploring the feelings of loss 5. Recognizing one is not crazy 11Chapter 12: Death and Loss

6. Understanding the needs of mourning 7. Nurturing oneself 8. Reaching out to others 9. Seeking reconciliation 10. Coming to appreciate one’s process of transformation 12Chapter 12: Death and Loss

 People are born into networks of relationships and remain woven into those networks long after they die  Those who lose a loved one can find comfort in developing a new relationship with the deceased  The lives of the deceased continue on in stories that are told about them long after their physical bodies perish. This is called re-membering  The emphasis of this alternative model is not on detaching and moving on 13Chapter 12: Death and Loss

 Consider writing three eulogies for yourself  Write an actual eulogy — one you would give at your own funeral  Write a feared eulogy — one that you fear someone might say  Write the eulogy you would hope for 14Chapter 12: Death and Loss