Welcome Homework Without Tears Parent Workshop Presented by: Sarah Bauer School Counselor at Buckland Mills ES

Does this happen at home? You battle with your children about when homework will be done. You children rush through homework assignments, with sloppy, incomplete results. Your children “forget” to bring their homework home. You do most of the homework. You children take all night to finish their homework. Your children insist they can do their homework in front of the TV, stereo, or talking on the phone. The first time you hear about a project is the night before it’s due…and it isn’t finished.

How does homework affect achievement in school? Students who consistently do homework perform better academically than those who do not do homework. By doing homework, students can improve academic achievement in all subjects. Homework improves academic achievement at all grade levels including elementary. Doing homework improves academic achievement of both high and low achievers.

Responsibility For most children, homework is the fist time they have a responsibility all their own. It’s up to them to take it home. It’s up to them to do the work. It’s up to them to get the work back to school. Through this responsibility children learn to follow directions, work on their own, begin and complete a task, manage their time, and work to their full potential. They are accountable for their own actions.

Question??? Which of the following do you think is the most crucial element in determining a child’s success in school? a. Teacher competence and guidance. b. The amount of money the government spends on education. c. Parents’ motivation and support.

Answer The answer is C “Children can suffer incompetent teachers without losing their eagerness for learning. They can survive rock-bottom school budgets, inadequate textbooks and antiquated facilities without giving up on education altogether. But without parental support, without encouragement, motivation, and discipline on the home front, children are almost certain to develop a negative attitude toward learning and school” (Canter and Hausner).

What are we going to learn today? How to set up a proper study area. How to get homework finished on time. How to get your children to do homework on their own. How to motivate your children with praise. How to motivate your children to do their best work. How to communicate assertively with your children. How to back up your words with actions

Proper study area Your child does not need a lot of space. They do need a well-lit, comfortable, quiet location with all necessary supplies. Let the area they choose be their area. It can be the kitchen table or bedroom. However, it is their area no one should be allowed to disturb your child or to interfere with the homework, for example, siblings. TV and radio should be kept off in the homework area because they interfere.

Study area continued… Make sure that the space is well lit. Post a “DO NOT DISTURB” sign during homework time. –Every time your child is interrupted it take them 2 to 3 minutes to regain their concentration. Make sure your child has all of their supplies. –Crayons, pencils, markers, pencil sharpener, erasers, glue, tape, writing paper, construction paper, hole puncher, stapler, scissors, children’s dictionary, paper clips, assignment book.

Getting homework done on time. Homework must be scheduled into your children’s life. –It cannot be up to your children because then homework would never get done. –Children cannot do homework effectively late at night. –Homework must be a priority, it must have a place in your children’s schedule. –Your involvement in this process is making sure that homework is done appropriately everyday!

Daily homework time Daily homework time is a pre-planned time set aside each day during which your children must do homework. All other activities must cease. Children must understand there is no playing and no TV. They are to go to their study area and do homework. You and your children should decide together when their daily homework time should be and how long they will need on their homework. Daily homework time can be at different times each day depending on your schedule.

How to set up Daily Homework Time. Tell your children exactly how you expect homework time to be scheduled. Make sure that all of your children’s scheduled activities are written down on the Daily Schedule. Determine the length of time needed each day for homework. Determine the best time period each day to be set aside for Daily Homework Time. –After all appointments, practices and dinner dates are placed on the daily schedule, then you and your child can sit down and determine the best time to do homework.

Only if necessary: Mandatory Homework Time. This is for “Speeders” and “Forgetters” Speeders are children who race through their homework, during Daily Homework Time with little or no effort. They want to “get it done” and get back to more pleasurable activities as quickly as possible. Because of their speeding, their homework is messy, incomplete, or incorrectly done. Forgetters – frequently fail to remember to bring work home or “forget” that they have homework at all.

Only if necessary: Mandatory Homework Time. Mandatory Homework Time: means that children must use their entire scheduled Daily Homework Time for homework or other academic activities such as reading, reviewing textbooks, or practicing math facts. The purpose of Mandatory Homework Time is to teach your children that there is no advantage to rushing through work or forgetting it altogether.

How to get your children to do their own work. Tell your children that you expect them to do homework on their own. –Important: Do not do the work for your children! Do not teach concepts to your children! Use the process of encouragement. –Sometimes you child simply lacks confidence in his/her abilities. Show that you have confidence in your children’s ability to do their work. –Child: I just don’t know what to do. –Parent: I know you think it’s too hard, but I’m sure that with just a little help from me you’ll be able to do it.

How to get your children to do their own work. Break down the “overwhelming” assignment into simple steps you know your child can do successfully –A child may look at a homework assignment and not know where to begin. –Divide the homework into easily managed steps. Provide encouragement each time the child succeeds at any step. Then have him move forward to complete the assignment. –You may be tempted to give your children the answer. It’s a lot easier and faster. –By encouraging your children step by step you are helping them to gain greater confidence.

How to get you children to do their best: Praise Why is praise important? “Many children who lack the motivation to do homework don’t feel secure in their ability to succeed in anything relating to school. They need encouragement and support from the people whose opinions they value most – their parents. As parents, your role in homework is to make sure your child has the confidence to get it done. However, your child is still responsible for doing their own homework assignment.

How to get you children to do their best: Praise Are you guilty of saying the following? –“You just can’t do your homework without messing up, can you?” –“What’s wrong with you? Can’t you ever get moving without my having to hassle you?” –“Is this your homework paper? It looks like chicken scratches!” –“Why can’t you do a good job like your sister does?”

How to motivate your children with praise. Consistently praise your children’s efforts. –“You really tried hard on this assignment! Good job! –“I’m delighted about the way you’re starting your homework on time every day!” –“Eight out of ten spelling words correct! That’s a big improvement over last time. It shows how hard you’re trying!” –“I really like how you’re doing your homework on your own now. Good job!” –“I think it’s great that you’re working straight through Daily Homework Time and even a little longer when you have to. I’m really proud of you!”

How to motivate your children with praise. Tell your children specifically what you like about what they are doing or what they have done. –“I really do appreciate your doing your homework without arguing.” Sound better than “You’re doing a good job.” A hug or a pat on the shoulder will increase the impact of your message. Use SUPER praise to motivate your children. –What is SUPER praise? First: One parent praises the child for his behavior. Second: This parent praises the child in front of the other parent. Finally: The other parent praises the child again.

Praise is good but what if it doesn’t work? Be honest with your children. Tell them that you are going to use some new ideas to help them do their homework. Choose an incentive that your child will appreciate. –An incentive should be something that motivates your child to action. It should not strain your budget or your time schedule. It should be something meaningful. –Ideas of incentives: staying up late, extra TV time, extra video game time, playing a family game, prize box. Be consistent.

Praise is good but what if it doesn’t work? Phase out incentives. –Once you are having successful homework time incentives can stop BUT never stop praising your child. Remember that giving incentives is your choice not your child’s. –“I will not do my book report unless you give me a prize.” –“I won’t do it unless you let me stay up later.” –Parent should say, “Tom, doing your homework on your own is your job. Offering you a reward for doing it is my choice. Don’t ever get the idea that it’s something you have coming to you.”

Motivating ideas. Beat the clock game (use this for children who seem to take forever to do their homework). –Tell you children you will have 30 min (or however long you think they need) to finish tonight’s homework assignments. –Set a timer for 30 min. Tell you children that if they get their homework done correctly before the timer goes off then they will get…(whatever reward you’ve chosen).

Motivating ideas continued… Homework contract. –This is good for children of any age. This is also good because it encourages children to accept responsibility for an agreement made between them and you. –Place the homework contract on the refrigerator or a different location. –Instead of offering a reward each time your child “beats the clock”, offer him a sticker. –When you child has accumulated five stickers (or three or ten, etc), he gets a prize. –*** The number of stickers needed to earn a reward should increase as the child becomes more responsible about his homework. ***

Motivating ideas continued… Trade off – this game is for younger children who can’t seem to get the self-confidence to do their own work. –Tell you child, “I know you can do your homework on your own without asking me so many questions. Let’s play a game to help you do this.” –Have on hand a supply of some small items that your child will appreciate and that you feel comfortable in giving him: peanuts, raisins, M&Ms, any other small candy or maybe even pennies or nickels. Place ten of them in a bowl at the child’s study area. –Tell your child: “Each time you ask me for help with your homework, you have to give me one of these candies. When they’re all gone, I won’t help you any more. At the end of Daily Homework Time, you get to keep what is left.” –Phasing out – gradually decrease the number of items you start with each time you play the game.

Motivating ideas continued… Chunking –Sometimes a homework assignment can seem too much for your child. –You can tell your child, “This is a big homework assignment, but I know you can do it all! Let’s play a game that will make it easier.” –Mark out the first five problems or questions for your child. After they finish the first five they get a reward. Then they do the next five and reward. This process continues until the assignment is finished. –Phasing out: Instead of chunking in groups of five, chunk in groups of 10 or 15.

Your children are STILL not doing their homework By now you have tried: –Setting up a quiet area –A specific time each day to do homework –You are making sure that they are doing their own work –You have provided your children with praise and motivation –And you are relaxing in your quiet area while your children are doing their homework… or not!

Your children are STILL not doing their homework... Do not beg, plead or ask pointless questions: –“Please, I can’t take it any more. You’ve got to do your homework!” –“How many times do I have to talk to you about doing your homework?” Do not make hostile statements, yelling and screaming are also ineffective. –“What’s wrong with you? Can’t you ever do anything the way you’re supposed to?” –“I’m sick of wasting my time trying to get you to do your homework.”

How to communicate assertively Tell your children – clearly and firmly – that you expect them to do their homework. –“In this home your number one responsibility is to do your homework. There will be no more arguments about it. You will do your homework on your own and you will do it to the best of your ability. Don’t argue with your children. Use the Broken- Record technique. –Simply repeat your expectation in a firm, clear manner. “I want you to do your homework”. –Do not respond to any statements made by the child.

How to back up your words with action. Tell your children that the choice is theirs. –Your child assumes his responsibility to do his homework appropriately or else he chooses to have all privileges suspended until homework is finished. Don’t make meaningless threats of punishment. –You are going to do your homework or else. Be consistent in following through with your demands. –Do not back down! Be prepared for your children to test you to see if you mean business. –Crying –Anger –Indifference

In Conclusion Homework is all about your children learning to make choices: when to do homework, how to do homework, where to do homework, and even if they will do homework. By teaching your children basic organizational skills and improving their study habits you are giving them the tools that will help them make good choices about schoolwork. Your children will understand that with a little planning they can deal successfully with homework, do better in school, and feel better about themselves.

Information All of the information that was presented tonight is based on the book “Homework Without Tears” by Lee Canter and Lee Hausner, PH.D.