Chapter 23

When you emphasize the main ideas in your sentences, you hold and channel reader’s attention.

 Use subjects and verbs of sentences to state key actors and actions  Subject names the actor  Predicate verb specifies the subject’s action  Example: Children grow.  Key ideas need to appear as the subject and verb

 Nouns made from verbs obscure key actions and add words NounVerb IntentionIntend ProposalPropose DecisionDecide ExpectationExpect PersistencePersist ArgumentArgue Inclusioninclude

After the company made a decision to hire more workers with disabilities, its next step was the construction of wheelchair ramps and other facilities. After the company decided to hire more workers with disabilities, it next constructed wheelchair ramps and other facilities.

 Weak verbs such as made and was tend to stall sentences  Often buries key actions

Unemphatic The company is now the leader among businesses in complying with the 1990 Americans with Disabilities Act. Its officers make speeches on the act to business groups. Revised The company now leads other businesses in complying with the 1990 Americans with Disabilities Act. Its officers speak on the act to business groups.

 State actions received by, not performed by their subject  De-emphasized the true actor of the sentence, sometimes even omitting it entirely  Use active voice in which the subject performs the action The ball was thrown by Janet.

The 1990 law is seen by most businesses as fair, but the costs of complying have sometimes been objected to. Most businesses see the 1990 law as fair, but some have objected to the costs of complying. Exercise 23.1 pg. 380

 Readers expect the beginning of a sentence to contain information they already know or that you’ve already introduced.  Look to the sentence ending for new information.

Un emphaticEmphatic A B Education often means controversy these days, with rising costs and constant complaints about its inadequacies. But the C value of schooling should not be obscured B D by the controversy. The single best means of economic advancement, despite its A shortcomings, remains education. A – B. C-B. D-A pattern A B Education often means controversy these days, with rising costs and constant complaints about its inadequacies. But the B C controversy should not obscure the value of A schooling. Education remains, despite its shortcomings, the single best means of D economic advancement. A-B. B-C. A-D. pattern

 Brevity of expression aids emphasis no matter the sentence structure.  Unnecessary words distract from the necessary words.

Examples: In my opinion the competition in the area of grades is distracting. It distracts many students from their goal, which is to obtain an education that is good. There seems to be a belief among a few students that grades are more important than what is measured by them. The competition for grades distracts many students from their goal of obtaining a good education. A few students seem to believe that grades are more important than what they measure.

 Make subject and verb of each sentence identify its actor and action  Avoid nouns made from verbs  Use strong verbs  Rewrite passive voice as active voice  Cut or shorten empty words or phrases  Exercise 39.1 pg. 526 all things consideredAs far as I’m concernedFor all intents and purposes In a manner of speakingIn my opinionLast but not least More or lessIn the event thatAt the present time

 Cut unnecessary repetition  Cut unneeded qualifiers – in my opinion, for the most part  Cut all purpose words such as area, factor  Cut all filler phrases – by virtue of, the fact that  Avoid constructions beginning with:  there is, here is, or it is  Combine sentences  Cut or rewrite jargon  Reduce clauses to phrases and phrases to single words Exercise 23.5 pg. 387