THE TEMPERAMENT GOD GAVE YOUR SPOUSE

WHAT IS A TEMPERAMENT? WE ARE EACH BORN WITH ONE OF THE FOUR PRIMARY TEMPERAMENTS, INDICATING OUR NATURAL PREDISPOSITION TO REACT IN CERTAIN WAYS OUR “DEFAULT SETTING”. “CHRIST WILL CHANGE MANY THINGS ABOUT YOU-YOUR ATTITUDE, PASSIONS, PRIORITIES-BUT NOT YOUR BASIC TEMPERAMENT.” TONYA RIGGLE 1) SANGUINE 2) CHOLERIC 3) MELANCHOLY 4) PHLEGMATIC

“ WHAT DRIVES ME TO YOU IS WHAT DRIVES ME INSANE” BOB DYLAN

SANGUINE- POPULAR “A CHEERFUL HEART IS GOOD MEDICINE…” PROVERBS 17:22 STRENTGHS LIFE OF THE PARTYVOLUNTEERING EXCITINGCURIOUS ENTHUSIASTICTENDER HEARTED CHEERFUL EXTROVERT LOVES PEOPLE SPONTANEOUS WEAKNESSES WANTS CENTER STAGEHATES BEING ALONE INTERRUPTSUNDISCIPLINED COMPULSIVE TALKERDOESN’T FOLLOW THROUGH EXAGGERATESDECIDES BY FEELINGS SEEMS PHONY DISORGANIZED WASTES TIME

CHOLERIC- POWERFUL “BUT EVERYTHING SHOULD BE DONE IN A FITTING AND ORDERLY WAY” 1 CORINTHIANS 14:40 STRENGTHS LEADERINDEPENDENT DECISIVEDRIVE PRODUCTIVETHRIVES ON OPPOSITION DEVELOPS PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS SETS GOALS ORGANIZES CORRECTS WEAKNESSES BOSSYINTIMIDATING IMPATIENTOVERLY OPTIMISTIC MANIPULATIVEANGRY DEMANDINGNOT COMPLIMENTARY “KNOW IT ALL” UNEMOTIONAL INTOLERANT OF MISTAKES

MELANCHOLY- ”BE PERFECT, THEREFORE, AS YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER IS PERFECT” MATTHEW 5:48 STRENGTHS GENIUSSENSITIVE TALENTEDCONSCIENTIOUS METHODICALANALYTICAL ORDERLYFAITHFUL SCHEDULEDQUALITY ORIENTED SELF-SACRIFICINGTEAM PLAYER WEAKNESSES MOODYPERFECTIONISTIC WITHDRAWNMARTYR TOO INTROSPECTIVENEGATIVE TOO RIGIDGUILT RIDDEN SELF-CENTEREDHARD TO PLEASE SERIOUSNEEDS APPROVAL

PHLEGMATIC- ”BLESSED ARE THE PEACEMAKERS, FOR THEY WILL BE CALLED SONS OF GOD” MATTHEW 5:9 STRENGTHS WELL-BALANCEDNOT IN A HURRY CONSISTENTNOT EASILY UPSET EASY GOINGADMINISTRATES AND MANAGES WITTYMEDIATES DISAGREEMENT AGREEABLE AND KIND GOOD LISTENER COMPASSIONATE WEAKNESSES UNMOTIVATEDAVOIDS CONFLICT TOO OFTEN AVOIDS RESPONSIBILITYFEARFUL TOO COMPROMISINGRESENTFUL INDIFFERENTINDECISIVE LAZYNOT GOAL-ORIENTED WORRIER DISCOURAGED

PSALM 139:14 FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE AS YOU LEARN TO SEE YOURSELF REALISTICALLY, YOU CAN ANTICIPATE PROBLEMS BEFORE THEY REACH A CRISIS STAGE. YOU CAN ACCENTUATE YOUR STRENGTHS AND MINIMIZE YOUR WEAKNESSES.

CELEBRATE AND ACCEPT YOUR SPOUSES TEMPERAMENT “CELEBRATE GOD ALL DAY, EVERY DAY. I MEAN REVEL IN HIM! MAKE IT AS CLEAR AS YOU CAN TO ALL YOU MEET THAT YOU’RE ON THEIR SIDE, WORKING WITH THEM AND NOT AGAINST THEM” PHIL. 4:4 THE MESSAGE HAND IN HAND WITH ACCEPTANCE GOES RESPECT. I DO NOT NEED MY SPOUSE TO BE JUST LIKE ME; I DO NEED HIM TO RESPECT ME. SUMMING IT ALL UP, FRIENDS, I’D SAY YOU’LL DO BEST BY FILLING YOUR MINDS AND MEDITATING ON THINGS TRUE, NOBLE, REPUTABLE, AUTHENTIC, COMPELLING, GRACIOUS-THE BEST, NOT THE WORST; THE BEAUTIFUL, NOT THE UGLY; THINGS TO PRAISE, NOT THINGS TO CURSE” PHIL. 4:8 THE MESSAGE

HOW TO DEAL WITH THE SANGUINE TAKE A POSITIVE APPROACH DO THINGS TOGETHER EXPRESS YOUR LOVE AND AFFECTION FOR HIM/HER HELP HIM TO SET PRIORITIES AND NOT OVER-BOOK HELP HIM TO FOLLOW THROUGH HOLD HIM ACCOUNTABLE

HOW TO DEAL WITH A CHOLERIC TREAT THEM RESPECT AND ADMIRATION ALLOW THEM TO TAKE CHARGE IN APPROPRIATE WAYS HELP HIM/HER GROW IN EMPATHY BY SHOWING THEM HOW IT WILL HELP THEM BECOME MORE SUCCESSFUL

HOW TO DEAL WITH THE MELANCHOLIC RESPECT THEIR RULES, THEIR QUIET, THEIR ORDER, AND THEIR SPACE SUPPORT THEM IN INITIATING ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR VALUABLE INSIGHT INTO PROBLEMS GIVE THEM TIME TO MAKE A DECISION ASK WHAT IS ON THEIR MIND

HOW TO DEAL WITH THE PHLEGMATIC ENCOURAGE THEM TO TAKE CHARGE GENTLE REMINDERS (NEVER NAG) GIVE POSITIVE FEEDBACK AND WORDS OF AFFIRMATION TO BUILD UP THEIR CONFIDENCE

THE BODY OF CHRIST 1 CORINTHIANS 12:18 “BUT NOW GOD HAS PLACED THE MEMBERS, EACH ONE OF THEM, IN THE BODY, JUST AS HE DESIRED.” GOD COULD HAVE MADE US ALL SANGUINES-WE WOULD HAVE LOTS OF FUN BUT ACCOMPLISH LITTLE. ALL MELANCHOLY-WE WOULD HAVE BEEN ORGANIZED AND CHARTED BUT NOT VERY CHEERFUL. ALL CHOLERICS-WE WOULD HAVE BEEN ALL SET TO LEAD, BUT IMPATIENT THAT NO ONE WOULD FOLLOW. ALL PHLEGMATIC-WE WOULD HAVE HAD A PEACEFUL WORLD BUT NOT MUCH ENTHUSIASM FOR LIFE. CONSIDER THIS: WITHOUT CHRIST WE LIVE TOTAL IN THE FLESH. WE ARE COVERED BY OUR BASIC TEMPERAMENT THAT HAS BEEN COVERED BY OUR DEVELOPED PERSONALITY. AT BEST, WE ARE LIMITED TO OUR “BOXED IN” STRENGTHS. WITH CHRIST WE HAVE THE EQUIPPING OF THE HOLY SPIRIT. WE CAN BECOME “LIKE CHRIST”, THE PERFECT TEMPERAMENT WHEN “SPIRIT CONTROLLED

TEMPERAMENTS OF OUR KIDS NUMEROUS STUDIES HAVE SHOWN THAT TEMPERAMENT IS APPARENT IN INFANCY AND REMAINS CONSISTENT THROUGHOUT LIFE. PARENTS WHO IGNORE A CHILD'S INBORN NATURE ARE DOOMED TO STRUGGLE AGAINST IT, WHILE PARENTS WHO IDENTIFY AND WORK WITH IT FIND THE PARENTING JOURNEY MORE PLEASANT. PERHAPS THE BEST PARENTING MOVE YOU CAN MAKE RIGHT NOW IS TO FORM A PICTURE OF YOUR CHILD'S TEMPERAMENT. THIS WILL HELP YOU DEVISE THE UNIQUE APPROACH THAT'S BEST SUITED TO YOUR UNIQUE CHILD. BUT WHERE TO START? FOLLOWING ARE SPECIFIC AREAS PSYCHOLOGISTS USE TO EVALUATE A PERSON'S ONE-OF-A-KIND MAKEUP, ALONG WITH HINTS ON PARENTING EACH TYPE OF CHILD: