Sprinkles the fish - dealing with grief

There are many definitions as well as explanations for grief. – Grief is nothing more than a term that describes emotions associated with a loss. A person can grieve after any loss. – This may be the loss of a relationship, a change in jobs or school, or merely not being able to do something you once could.

Denial is the first stage a person goes through when they have suffered a loss. This is your mind’s way of protecting you by asserting that what you are going through is not real. This can also include minimizing, which denies the seriousness or impact of the event.

This feeling can make you want to attack whatever cause your loss. – Misplaced anger can cause you to lash out at others or yourself. This anger can also be directed at those who appear to have moved on.

Offering something in hopes that either the incident didn’t occur or that the painful feelings are eased. You look to see what you are in control of that will take the pain away. This is also the “if only” stage where people look back at what they could have done differently.

Characterized by: intense feelings of low self-worth, periods of inactivity, low functionality, extreme sadness. Having a trusted friend, relative, spiritual guide, or even a doctor to talk to can make a huge difference in recovery. Depression is like any other illness, it needs to be treated.

You have reached a spot or level of understanding where you can now deal with your loss. Just because you have accepted the loss does not mean it will wipe out the memory of the loved one.

When someone suffers a loss but it unable to process the grief. A person can feel like they are in a perpetual state of bereavement with no end in sight. The main treatments are medication and therapy.

In order for life to continue, we experience loss and death. – Shall we receive the good at the hand of God, and not receive the bad? Job 2:10 Not all loss is of the same magnitude or kind. Some are commonplace and occur so frequently that we hardly give them a second thought. What are some examples from nature that illustrate this?

 Just as our losses are unique, so are our ways to deal with loss.  As children, we imitate how our parents deal with loss.  Then we find our own way to deal with it, effective or not, even to the point that we forget we have a choice.

 Each loss invites us to choose to move toward life or death.  Most of the time, we don’t think about it in this way - we see it as unnecessary, unfortunate, avoidable, unlucky, etc.  But the only way new growth comes is through loss, a natural and normal part of living.  Can you identify in your own life experiences one loss that was necessary before something else that you wanted could come into your life?

 Healthy grieving usually involves three movements.  We can begin grieving when we openly acknowledge what has been lost.  We express whatever feelings and emotions are called forth when we acknowledge the loss.  We choose to change the things we do that keep us tied to the lost person or object.

Because it is one of the steps in Healthy Grieving… acknowledging loss and celebrating the joys in life are vital You will create a “Loss History Timeline” of your own life. Identify the “lows” - all the things you have left behind and how you moved beyond them – not just deaths, but these are to be included also Also include the “highs” – meaning the positive things in life that have given us cause for celebration Using the 11 x 17 sheet of paper map out your “Loss history”. Be sure to include high points as well as low points Color and basic illustrations are expected. 25 points in the Major Category

Activity: Sit quietly, breathe deeply, and relax. Allow your body to sink into a comfortable position. Beginning with the most recent, identify significant relationships that you have lost through ways other than death. Go back as far in your life as you can remember. list the losses on your paper. Remember each person-how you met, what attracted you to each other, things you did together, the best and worst times of your relationship, and the ending. Feel whatever emotions surface as you look at the names. Think about what you lost along with the relationship: the prestige of a steady boyfriend? The companionship of a best friend? The fun of a favorite teacher? Whether a relationship ended with distress or with poignant sadness and gratitude, each relationship gave you something positive. Look at your list of lost relationships again and think about how each one helped to make you who you are at this moment. Finally, pray for each of these people -with the awareness that everything in this world is passing, including important relationships.