11 Sentence Essay Notes 11-Sentence Paragraph

Suggested Outline for an 11 sentence Schaffer Paragraph: 1.Topic Sentence (TS) 2.Concrete Detail (CD) 3.Commentary (CM) 4.Commentary (CM) 5.Concrete Detail (CD) 6.Commentary (CM) 7.Commentary (CM) 8.Concrete Detail (CD) 9.Commentary (CM) 10.Commentary (CM) 11.Concluding Sentence CHUNK CHUNK Ratio: 1 CD: 2+ CM

I. Topic Sentence (TS) a.Subject of paper b.Opinion stated in a factual manner c.Author AND title (if it’s a paragraph that stands alone).It sounds more professional! d.All main points-IN THE ORDER that you’re presenting them BAD  In “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow,” Romanticism might be shown in Ichabod’s job as well as his attire. GOOD  In “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow,” by Washington Irving, Ichabod Crane exemplifies the Romantic era of literature by the way he portrays himself to society, his choices of attire, and his interactions with Katrina Van Tassel while courting her.

Concrete Details Include either: Direct Quotations from the story Paraphrasing Facts/Examples/Supporting Detail Avoid: Opinions and generalizations

Incorporate quoted phrases into your own sentence structure & only use the part of the quotation that will help prove your point. BAD: The setting of Sleepy Hollow is eerie, which is an aspect of Romanticism. “In the bosom of one of those spacious coves which indent the eastern shore of the Hudson.” GOOD: “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” begins with a wonderful example of Romantic literature when it begins by mentioning a setting in which we encounter“ the bosom of the one of those spacious coves which indent the eastern shore of the Hudson” (Washington 1).

BRACKETS: You may alter a quotation for clarity by placing the change in brackets. Original: He showed that he was a Romantic character when the narrator said that “I recollect that, when a stripling, my first exploit in squirrel- shooting was in a grove of tall walnut- trees.” Adjusted: He showed that he was a Romantic character when the narrator said that “[he] recollect[ed] that, when a striping [his] first exploit in squirrel-shooting was in a grove of tall walnut-trees” (Washington 2).

ELLIPSIS --If you omit material in order to be concise, mark the omission with three periods (called an ellipsis) enclosed in brackets. [...] --You do not need to use an ellipsis at the beginning or end of the quotation (it’s understood that you’re taking something from a longer passage).

COMMENTARY (CM) Your thoughts, explanations, and insights about your concrete details/passage (CD) and how it connects to your claims in your Topic sentence Analysis is NOT a summary! Answers the “So what?” question Sometimes it’s helpful to start CM with phrases like: – “This shows... “ – “This idea is important because...” Because they force you to explain and not just summarize. Be careful to NOT get stuck on these phrases!

Commentary Example CD: As Ichabod Crane stays with his pupil’s families, he makes the choice to help around the farm, tend the land, and play with children. CM: When Ichabod makes these decisions, he is detaching himself from material items, and becoming one with nature and humanity. CM: This shows that even as a male in society during the 19 th century, Ichabod Crane embodies a Romantic character, which is the direct intent of Washington Irving.

Concluding Sentences (CS) Should be similar to topic sentence without saying the EXACT same words. Does NOT need to say both the author and title again. Should show your reader that you have clearly proven your point. Has an “as one can see...” feeling.

Conclusion Example Topic Sentence: In “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow,” by Washington Irving, Ichabod Crane exemplifies the Romantic era of literature by the way he portrays himself to society, his choices of attire, and his interactions with Katrina Van Tassel while courting her. Concluding Sentence: Through Ichabod’s actions and choices of lifestyle, he exemplifies what it means to be the quintessential Romantic character that came to the forefront of America during the 19th century, therefore establishing a prototype for generations of literature to come.

Dead Words The following words are overused, too vague, or too informal to use in your formal writing. Vague Words: Big Bad Good Great A lot Stuff Thing(s)

Dead Words Contractions Don’t She’ll Haven’t It’ll

Dead Words Personal Pronouns: I Me My Myself We Us Our

Dead Words Second Person Pronouns: You Your You’re Yourself

Number Rule Numbers zero to ten must be spelled out. From 11 on, you may write the numbers numerically. 25, 1001, 1,758,059, etc.

Verb Tense When referring to the action in a story, you MUST write in PRESENT verb tense. When referring to an actual event in history (Cold War, Latimer and Ridley, biblical allusion), you must write in PAST verb tense.

Verb Tense Fix the following: Mary killed her husband after he decided to leave her. Mary kills her husband after he decides to leave her. Mary created an alibi. Mary creates an alibi. Do NOT write “is telling”.

Leads Go before your quotations to add fluency. Should Reveal: – Who is speaking – To whom they are speaking – What is going on

Add a LEAD “A few minutes later she got up and went to the phone” (Dahl 321). Who says this? To whom is he/she speaking? When did this occur? Mary got back from the grocery store and “a few minutes later she got up and went to the phone” (Dahl 321).

Citing Parenthetical Documentation/Citations – giving credit to the original author by citing: Author’s last name page number where you got that information Use whether you are quoting or paraphrasing from the text. ONE Period ALWAYS goes at the end – “A few minutes later she got up and went to the phone” (Dahl 321). Exceptions: when there is a ? or ! – “What is it, darling? What’s the matter?” (Dahl 319). – “Quick! Come quick!” (Dahl 321).