S KILLFUL C ONVERSATION FOR A PRODUCTIVE WORKING RELATIONSHIP Ravi Isaiah, D.Min., LPC

O BJECTIVES Understand basic communication skills for accurate listening Understand the importance of Core Values Explore the anatomy of anger Learn how to skillfully diffuse anger Learn what leadership skills are necessary to have productive working relationships with colleagues

L EADERSHIP There are some natural born leaders There are those who learn the skills Others are given responsibility but find leadership a challenge Leadership is Relationship

N ATURAL L EADERS Usually end up being in charge They know people look for them to lead They can usually get the job done ON THE OTHER HAND They may not be aware of why they are good leaders They may or may not have healthy skills It can be difficult for them to follow others

C RUCIAL F OUNDATION FOR PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIP Your organizations CORE VALUES Importance of Core Values: Are conceived by those who have reflected on the nature of the organization and its purpose It values the mission of the organization rather than individual strong personalities It DEFINES you as an organization

E XAMPLE OF C ORE V ALUES Malcolm Baldrige Award is given by the President of The United States to an organization that has reached performance excellence status in their service to employees and customers For example: Ritz-Carlton Hotels (Two-time winner) What changed them from being good to great?

C HANGED THE TRAJECTORY OF ONE ORGANIZATION “We are Ladies and Gentleman serving Ladies and Gentleman”

Service Values: I Am Proud To Be Ritz-Carlton I am always responsive to the expressed and unexpressed wishes and needs of our guests. …creating The Ritz-Carlton Mystique I continuously seek opportunities to innovate and improve The Ritz-Carlton experience I own and immediately resolve guest problems I create a work environment of teamwork and lateral service I am involved in the planning of the work that affects me I am proud of my professional appearance, language and behavior

CAMC H OSPITAL CORE VALUES Quality: “I will listen…” Service with compassion: Treat others with compassion, care and concern and courtesy… Safety: Safe environment Respect: Each person has value and will be treated with dignity Integrity: We are honest in our dealings Stewardship: Using resources wisely

C OMMUNICATION IS THE KEY Do we know how to articulate our work in a meaningful way to others? Do we have a plan to assess when things go wrong? Is it punitive? Is it progressive? Will we get where we want to go? CORE VALUES

W HEN THINGS GO WRONG P LAN AHEAD … People like pleasant surprises, but not “unpleasant” surprises If we EXPECT that things can go wrong we will be better prepared to handle it psychologically I like to assume that things will not go according to plan Now we can have a plan

A NATOMY OF ANGER Why do people get angry?

A NGER We get angry because we want something that we did not get The most volatile is the subconscious/ unconscious expectations Most of us are not comfortable in the presence of anger So we react out of discomfort This situation makes it hard for us to be good listeners

ANATOMY of ANGER ANGER I want ACKNOWLEDGEACKNOWLEDGE DO SAY Diffuses anger Progress

S L R S- Stop listening to yourself L- Listen to the person talking to you R- Respond to what you have just heard

U NDERSTANDING THE DISTRACTIONS STOP listening to yourself (while others are talking) The conversation going on in our brain is louder than the speaker We have different triggers that distract our listening skills They maybe words, intonations, visual, smells etc. Biggest one is the answer (defense) we are formulating while others are still talking!

C ONCLUSION Skillful conversation is in the art of listening Putting aside our agenda Be fully present: emotionally Respond out of your thinking not feeling to resolve a conflict Ask for another time to resolve “Ping Pong vs. Football” Ask others whose judgment you trust

QUESTIONS & COMMENTS THANK YOU