Preparing for Marriage & Parenthood

What You'll Learn 4 Kinds of Intimacy. 2 Ways to ensure that marriage will last. 10 Factors to predict success in marriage. Identify skills needed for possible parenthood. 5 Examples of faulty thinking that leads to teen pregnancy. Risk associated with being a teen parent.

Intimacy What ids intimacy? – A deep and meaningful kind of sharing between 2 people. – There are many kinds of intimacy but for marriage to be sustained over the years, 4 kinds of intimacy are important.

4 Types of Intimacy Philosophical Intimacy Emotional Intimacy Creative Intimacy Physical Intimacy

Philosophical Intimacy The sharing of beliefs and values is philosophical intimacy. – Marriage partners share the values that determine their day-to-day priorities. Spending holidays with parents because one partner values the relationship with their parents. Some religious beliefs can also be an example of philosophical intimacy.

Emotional Intimacy The sharing of needs, emotions, weaknesses, and strengths is emotional intimacy. – Marriage partners share their needs, their happiness, and their disappointments with each other. – Emotional intimacy deepens over time.

Creative Intimacy The sharing of efforts to accomplish tasks and projects is creative intimacy. – Examples of these types of task are: Running a household Planning a vacation Raising children

Physical Intimacy The sharing of physical affection is physical intimacy. – Physical intimacy includes a wide range of behaviors that express warmth and closeness. Types of physical intimacy: – Touching – Caressing – Holding hands – Kissing – Sexual intercourse

Physical Intimacy The commitment that marriage provides a sense of security to each other that enhances the physical intimacy. Disclaimer: – Having sex before marriage does not provide the security and intimacy that comes with commitment and marriage. – Dating couples can experience warmth and closeness with out having sexual intercourse.

Marriage When 2 people marry they take vows, or make promises, this is called a commitment. There are 2 way partners can view marriage. – Commitment-motivated “I will behave in my marriage in ways I have promised.” – Feelings-motivated “I will behave in my marriage according to how I feel at the moment.”

Marriage Partners who are commitment-motivated behave as they say they will rather that as they happen to feel at a certain time. – Supposed a partner does not feel like being supportive or does not feel like being faithful. – If a partner decides to honor these feeling the consequences can lead to loss of trust, sexual infidelity, or a STD/STI.

Marriage Five stages of Marriage Stage 1 (First 2 years) – New couple overcomes what they thought marriage would be like and work to form a family Maintain indvidual identity ad they form a family. Learn to work together. Develop physical intimacy.

Marriage Stage 2 (3 rd -10 th Year) – The couple gains a realistic view of one another and must settle into dealing with their individual weaknesses and make an effort avoid dysfunctional behaviors. Stage 3 (11 th – 25 th Year) – The couple establishes and maintains individual identities and deals with issues of aging, children, and intimacy. Realize no one is perfect and accepting flaws and mistakes.

Marriage Stage 4 (26 th -35 th Year) – Couple must master tasks from the 1 st year 3 stages that were not previously mastered, confront changes in sexuality and grieve over their losses. Stage 5 (36 th year and beyond) – The couple finds new inspiration after the major life tasks have been completed. They prepare for retirement death of partner and /or self.

Teen Marriage There are many reason why teen marriages are not successful. – Teens need time to: Develop healthful relationships with males & females. Become comfortable with themselves and their bodies. Become independent from adults. Prepare for a career. Form their own values and beliefs. Understand and achieve socially responsible behaviors.

Successful Marriages Factors that might lead to successful marriage: Age – Couples that marry in their 20’s or older have more marital success. Reasons for marriage – Couples who marry for love last longer. Length of relationship and engagement – The longer you wait the more time you have to get to know each others habits.

Successful Marriages Similar attitudes about children and child raising – Having the same beliefs about how to raise children helps the marriage succeed. Similar Interest – Even though opposites attract most successful marriages have common interests. Sexual Fidelity – Faithful marriages are successful.

Successful Marriages Good Character – People who have good character make responsible decisions that affect marriage. Parents’ Success at Marriage – People with divorced parents have a higher divorce rate. Parental attitudes toward the potential marriage partner – marriage is more likely to succeed if their parents approve of their spouse

Successful Marriages Careful selection of marriage partner – Marriage is more likely to succeed when people are cautious about who they marry.

Parenthood A parent is someone who guides a child to responsible adulthood. There is no written test you have to pass in order to become a parent, yet it is one of the most important jobs in society. The older you are when you become a parent the more success you will have at being a parent.

Responsibilities of Parenthood Parents are responsible for: – Spending time with child. – Teaching child values. – Setting rules and expectations. – Discipline. – Financial security. – Safety – Etc.

Resources needed for Parenthood Parents need the following resources: – Financial resources. – Housing for child. – Clothing and food for child. – Medical care for child. – Daycare/after school care costs.

Teen Pregnancy/Parenthood Why do teens become pregnant? Faulty Thinking – I can have a baby, my mother did it and I am fine. – I’ll be the center of attention. – I won’t get pregnant its my first time. – I can drink alcohol and still stay in control of my decisions. – It’s up to her to set the limits… boys will be boys.

Teen Pregnancy Risky? Risks associated with teen pregnancy. Low birth weight – weight less than 5.5lbs Damaged hereditary material – fathers habits can affect baby. (Ex. Drug & alcohol abuse) Inadequate parenting skills – The older you are the more knowledge you have about everything.