Teaching the adopted child; their experiences and their needs May 2012 May 2012

How do children come to be adopted? RelinquishedAbuseNeglect

How many children? England3,3303,1803,3303,2003,050 South East West Sussex

What can adoption mean for children? loss feelings of rejection being different from everyone else a painful history two sets of parents siblings living elsewhere ongoing contact with birth families low self-esteem a need to prove their right to exist friendship problems a need to be in control

A child’s journey to adoption involvement of Social Services foster carers mother and baby placements placed with adopters contact with birth family

What problems can adopted children face? past trauma and neglect separation trauma birth mother substance abuse birth mother life style during pregnancy birth parents genetic problems parenting and lifestyle issues

Attachment attachment is a process that begins in the womb it represents the series of interactions in the relationships between a baby/toddler and his parent/carer. a secure or insecure attachment is formed based on the quality of these interactions. this affects their ongoing interactions and relationships through life.

Moving to their new home a new start, not a solution to all earlier problems dealing with their past becoming a new family meshing past and present

Barriers to Learning Success in school can be undermined by: Unable to tolerate frustration, disappointment, uncertainty or change Low self-esteem Lack of trust in others Unable to read the feelings of others Dealing with feelings and traumas outside of the classroom

Adding School into the Picture adoptive families may be very new as they start school or may become a family after the child has started school the average age of adopted children since 2005/06 is 4.1 years.

Issues in school genetic / delayed development tricky topics for adopted children times and events that can unsettle children attachment - what it might look like in school

Attachment You want all the children in your class to: Concentrate Do their best Work well with others Work hard

Attachment Children with attachment problems may spend the day dealing with: fear of another rejection or abandonment panic identify issues rage loss control desperate efforts to please helplessness emotional regulation

Attachment/Behaviour Poor concentration may be because Scanning the room for danger. Sights, smells and sounds can be reminders of past trauma Turning round Danger comes from behind Talking all the time Life feels safer that way Constantly asking trivial questions It feels too dangerous to get it wrong Refusal to be helped I was left helpless and I’ll never be helpless again Explosions around spelling or maths It is clear when maths and spelling is wrong, being wrong may lead to rejection again.

Attachment/Behaviour Problems in the playground / out of lessons may be because Crowds can cause panic. Don’t know how to deal with a lack of structure. Trying to create chaos and mayhem It feels chaotic inside so it feels safer if its around outside as well Lying, stealing, secret lives Life feel likes a lie. I am not sure who I am or what the truth is Explosions around spelling or maths It is clear when maths and spelling is wrong, being wrong may lead to rejection again. Sudden deterioration in behaviour There has been contact with siblings or birth family, there is a painful anniversary etc.

Tricky topics for adopted children Family trees Growth & development topics Autobiographies Mothers Day and Fathers Day Sex Ed/ PHSE Birthdays and Christmas Literacy text choices

How can schools help? Connecting with the child: Provide an ‘attachment figure’ in school. A key person who the child can come to and can build a long term relationship with. Help with the transition between home and school. They may need to bring objects etc. from home to retain that connection whilst away from home. Simply saying ‘hello’ in the morning and making a connection can set the tone for the rest of the day. Support children with transitions – between lesson, moving year groups, moving schools.

How can schools help? During the school day: Beware of the potential pitfalls or issues in the curriculum and think of ways to adapt them Advocate adoption as a positive Keep to a routine – unstructured time can be the most challenging time Give notice (where possible) of changes to routine Help children with social situations and making healthy friendships

How can schools help? Dealing with behaviour: Be aware of potential trigger times in a child’s life and understand they may need more support at these times (inclusion rather than exclusion). Understand that emotionally adopted children may act younger than they are. Look for the cause of the behaviour – they may not be intentionally acting up. Understand that some behaviour techniques may not work – they can enhance the sense of shame and rejection.

How can schools help? Spare a thought for the parents! Adoptive parents are on a steep and rapid learning curve. They have become an instant family They may be dealing with more than one child with differing needs They do not have the established support groups that other parents have They may not have all the information you need They may be dealing with a traumatised child and working through behaviours that may be displayed at home and not at school They feel different from every other parent on the playground Home / School communication may be more crucial than for other families

Further Resources Inside I’m Hurting – Louise Michelle Bombèr Attachment in the Classroom - Helen Geddes Calmer Classrooms - Working with looked after or adopted children in school –