Word Choice, Sentence Variety, Topic Sentences, Thesis Statements

Writing is a series of choices. As you work on a paper, you choose your topic, your approach, your sources, and your thesis; when it’s time to write, you have to choose the words you will use to express your ideas and decide how you will arrange those words into sentences and paragraphs. As you revise, you make more choices. You might ask yourself, “Is this really what I mean?” or “Does this sound good?” Finding words that capture your meaning and convey that meaning to readers can be challenging. Here are some tips. Choices

Ex: Don Pedro and Don John are half-brothers, but he claims to be “a plain-dealing villain.” Corrected: __________________________________________________ Look for awkward, vague, or unclear words.

Ex: By the play’s end the, the reader realizes all you need is love. Corrected: __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ Look for clichés—and revise them.

Look for sentence variety. Put short sentences next to longer ones. This paragraph contains only long sentences; this isn’t wrong, but it could probably be improved. Not only is non-verbal communication shown to be the most effective and meaningful form of communication, but verbal communication is portrayed in a negative light. Siddhartha often discusses the confusion associated when one tries to put his wisdom into words in order to teach it to another. Siddhartha explains to Govinda that “I can love a stone, Govinda, and a tree or a piece of bark. These are things and one can love things. But one cannot love words. Therefore teachings are of no use to me; they have no hardness, no softness, nor colors, no corners, no smell, no taste—they have nothing but words” (146). Words are not real to Siddhartha who instead finds meaning in nature and in the peace that comes to him when he experiences love.

Shakespeare displays Benedick and Beatrice’s equality, thereby promoting them as the ideal couple. (Yes) Make sure your topic sentence is opinionated enough and that it doesn’t sound like a summary of the book. Ask yourself, would all readers agree? If they would, then the statement is probably a summary. If it is a statement that needs support? Then you have a strong topic sentence. Benedick and Beatrice engage in a battle of wits from the very beginning of the play. (No)

In this quote you can talk about a lot—how his realization that time is eternal links to his understanding that all voices are heard within the river. All people, all things are connected and are not stuck in time but are forever becoming. Govinda begins to understand it, and it brings him happiness. Take your time when explaining and analyzing your quote. Don’t think you’re reading too much into it because you’re probably not. Take this quote for example: Govinda asks, “’Is this what you mean? That the river is everywhere at the same time, at the source and at the mouth, at the waterfall, at the ferry, at the current, in the ocean and in the mountains, everywhere, and that the present only exists for it, not the shadow of the past, nor the shadow of the future?’ ‘That is it...’” (107)

Your turn! Write your first body paragraph. Look at your own paragraph one step at a time and examine each of the pieces. Clarify your topic sentence by either re-writing it or by adding a sentence or two after it. Add to your analysis. Clarify what you have written and add 2-3 sentences to it. Elements of each body paragraph 1. The topic sentence 2. The background or context for the quote. 3. The quote itself. 4. The analysis of the quote.