Chapter 5 Developing An Effective Parenting Style

Effective Parenting Strategies Why do some parenting strategies work better than others? ◦ Parents have a strong commitment to children they balance the demand for proper behavior with sensitive care  Nurturance  Behavior expectations  Communication  Effective control

The Impact of Parenting Styles Parenting styles: a certain way of parenting determined by…. ◦ knowledge of child development ◦ cultural background ◦ socioeconomic status ◦ and own childhood relationships The child’s age, gender and temperament also impact which methods parents use.

PARENTING STYLES Authoritarian: a style of parenting in which behavior expectations are set very high. ◦ Offer little or no explanation when they give directions. ◦ Expect children to obey without question. ◦ Favor high control and punishment to correct misbehavior. ◦ Children may not feel unconditional love. ◦ Parenting style lowest in nurturance.

Permissive: style of parenting where parents allow children to make their own decisions. ◦ Very few limits and very little guidance. ◦ Parents want their children to be “happy” so they give them complete freedom.  Nurturing level is very high. ◦ Children might feel insecure because they have no boundaries.

Democratic (authoritative): A style of parenting where parents set limits for children, and allow freedom within those limits. ◦ Children can talk openly ◦ Believe rules and limits give children a sense of security, stability and consistency. ◦ Parents expect high behavior standards, but explain the reasons for these standards. ◦ Allows children to develop decision making skills and independence. ◦ Best parenting style

The Importance of Communication Children are Sensitive to Communication ◦ Non-verbal and verbal communication  Non Verbal: body, movements, facial expressions, touch, tone of voice  When a parent will not pay attention to the child, what does the child do?  Verbal: spoken and written words Effectively using non-verbal communication ◦ Read section pg ◦ ACTIVE LISTENING pg 116

Open Communication Open communication is the sharing of thoughts and feelings between two people ◦ “I” messages: instead of YOU messages ◦ “We” messages: instead of YOU messages HAND OUT: ‘I’ messages and ‘We’ Messages

Chapter 5 Part 2

Using Communication Techniques for Specific Problems Problem Ownership ◦ Child Owns the Problem: these are problems that affect the child, but do not directly affect the parent.  Schoolwork issues  Friendship issues  Sibling fights If the problem belongs to the child the parent should not: ◦ Take over the problem ◦ Tell the child what to do ◦ Give too much advice ◦ Make light of the problem ◦ Block communication (5-10) page 119 PARENT SHOULD USE ACTIVE LISTENING

Parent Owns Problem ◦ Some problems directly affect the parents.  Child’s behavior  Embarrassing/disturbing the parent THREE SOLUTIONS ◦ Parent can change their positions  Pick your battles wisely ◦ Modify the environment ◦ Send “I” messages

BOTH own problem Directly affect both parent and child: EXAMPLES? ◦ USE WIN/WIN method  1. Parent sends the “I” message  2. The child and the parent suggest ideas to solve the problem  3. Child and parent agree to try a solution  4. Parent and child try the solution  5. Evaluate how the solution worked ◦ (ACTIVITY C CHAPTER 5: Win/Win)

IMPLEMENTING CONTROL POSITIVE CONSEQUENCES ◦ Reinforce the child with a positive personal message.  Thank you for picking up your toys…I really appreciate it. ◦ Acknowledge the benefits of following a rule over a period of time.  Good job on you’re a, you must have studied! ◦ Give privileges connected to the desired behaviors.

NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES ◦ Negative consequences, either created by the parent or occurring as a result of misbehavior, reduce the chances that the child will repeat the behavior again.  Determine the Cause of the Misbehavior  WHY?  Use punishment with care  Punishment as a result of willful misbehavior  Choose punishment that fits  Minor punishment for minor offense  Use punishment infrequently  Use Natural Consequence  Use Logical Consequence ◦ ACTIVITY D CHAPTER 5: Using Consequences

Implementing Consequences 1. State the Rule 2. If the child does not comply give “either/or” warning. 3. Summarize the situation and repeat the warning 4. Restate the consequence 5. Implement the consequence and ignore pleas from the child.