Abused Families’ Health P. R. Clee, MRSH, MIHE 1AFH

(picture posed by a model) 2AFH

What Does it Mean? Not just physical/sexual abuse – Alcohol – Drugs – Internet porn – Gambling 3AFH

What Would Jesus Do? John 8:1 – 11 tells us: 1.No condemnation 2.Safe place for healing 3.Support 4.Toughness. 4AFH

Talk About Family 1.Greatest help – pray 2.Protect yourself 3.Protect your general health a)Maintain a growing relationship with God b)Maintain your health, and that of the family c)c) Maintain your relationships 5AFH

What Happens in the Family? Trying to take responsibility for people Trying to “be good enough” to earn love Reacting to their partner’s behaviour Becoming all consumed with their partners Become emotionally tied to their partners Losing all sense of themselves 6AFH

Spouse is co-dependent Loss of self –worth Worried about actions of the spouse Afraid to go out with spouse Wishing done things differently Powerless. 7AFH

Danger for Children -Very likely to have addictive behaviour -Especially if it is computer based -Child may catch the parent watching/participating - Child may copy the behaviour, wishing for the “forbidden” 8AFH

What Can We Do? 3 Separate Components: Addict's 1.The Addict's recovery Partner’s 2.The Partner’s recovery Relationship’s 3.The Relationship’s recovery 9AFH

Should I Leave my Partner? No! This is not good for: the co-dependent the children the addict The The question should be: “How do I start my rrecovery?” 10AFH

Steps for Co-dependent Recovery 1.Learn to love without interfering in the consequences 2.Acknowledge your own powerlessness over the Obsession 3.See what you have done 4.Stop and see what you have cost 11AFH

What A Helper Can Do 1.At the beginning of recovery, be a support 2.Pray for them at least 3 times a day 3.Talk to the addict 4.Be a good listener 12AFH

What A Helper Can Do 5. Show unconditional love 6. Be gentle 7. Help them to see Jesus 8. Teach them to look outside themselves 13AFH

Know the Law! European Union Law states…. In cases of sexual abuse of any adult to any child… MUST this MUST be reported to the police immediately. 14AFH

Where is the Comfort? In Jesus Christ He is well able to save us from ourselves keep us from sinning forgive, heal and love 15AFH

Where is the Comfort? In the Bible… Gen 1:31 – a perfect world Gen 3 – the fall of mankind Gen 19 – Sodom & Gomorrah Rev 22:14 – saved by Jesus’ blood 16AFH

Pastor Paul R Clee Communication, Health & Human Resources Director; & Field Secretary of the Trans-European Division of Seventh-day Adventists. 17AFH