Composing and Revising an Essay

Overview There are certain rules about how you write sentences that the EOC exam writers want to make sure you know. These are really basic rules – and you are probably sick of hearing them – but here they are again…

Complete Sentences Every sentence has to have a subject. The subject is who or what the sentence is about. See if you can spot the subjects in the two sentences below. Sentence A: The wrestler won the match. Sentence B: Her tattoo is unforgettable. What is the subject in each sentence?

Complete Sentences Here is how to find the subject 1. Find the verb in the sentence 2. Ask yourself, “Who or what (performs the action of the verb)?” Sentence A: Who won? The wrestler won…so wrestler is the subject. Sentence B: What is? Her tattoo is…so tattoo is the subject. You need to be able to identify that a sentence has a subject to avoid sentence fragments!!

Sentence Fragments If the subject or the verb is missing (or both), you do not have a complete idea. Incorrect: Raising both arms in victory. (Who was raising both arms?) Correct: The wrestler was raising both arms in victory.

Sentence Fragments Now lets look at how these sentence fragments might be tested on the writing exam.

Run-Ons Run-ons happen when you have more than one complete idea running together in a sentence. You must separate ideas that can stand on their own. You cannot simply string them together with no punctuation – or even with a comma. You need one of these Period + space + capital letter Semicolon (;) Comma + a relationship word such as and, but, because, or so. Incorrect: Many people have come down with the flu, the flu shot was no guarantee. Correct: Many people have come down with the flu. The flu shot was no guarantee.

Run-ons

Sentence Variety and Smoothness On the writing exam you will often be given sentences that have no obvious errors, such as fragments or run- ons, but still sound awkward. When you are given four choices, ask yourself: “Which one doesn’t trip up your tongue when you read it aloud?” That is often the one you want.

Sentence Variety and Smoothness Repetitious: Grapes rolling around on supermarket floors are hazards. Hazards can result in lawsuits. Shorter and Better: Grapes rolling around on supermarket floors are hazards that can result in lawsuits. Awkward: Tyler does not know how to spell that word. That’s why he can’t look it up in a dictionary. More Graceful: As Tyler does not know how to spell that word, he can’t look it up in a dictionary.

Sentence Variety and Smoothness Choppy: Chip finally cleared the dishes from his floor. He could no longer get to bed. Smoother: Chip finally cleared the dishes from his floor when he could no longer get to his bed. Choppy: You can tell my parents. Don’t tell my friends. Smoother, Clearer: You can tell my parents, but don’t tell my friends.

Tips on making sentence nice Use conjunctions (such as and, or, but, for, since) to combine ideas while keeping the intended meaning. Remember: The words but and however signal a contrast between the ideas they link. Words like so, since, because, and therefore signal cause- and-effect. Words like then, when, next, before, and after signal when events happen in relation to each other.

Sentence Varity and Smoothness on the SOL test

Parallelism Parallelism refers to keeping like ideas in like form Incorrect: Teens discuss how to do tomorrow’s homework, who’s dating whom, and they talk about Saturday night’s choice of movies. Correct: Teens discuss how to do tomorrow’s homework, who’s dating whom, and what movie to see on Saturday night.

Misplaced Modifiers A modifier is a word or a group of words that change or shape another word. Let’s look at this short sentence Harbison’s new opera opened last night. Now let’s add a modifier to it Harbinson’s new opera, which is based on The Great Gatsby, opened last night.

Misplaced Modifiers…your turn….. How is this sentence best rewritten? “Installing a curfew, teens and police would be facing unnecessary tension created by lawmakers and that would be unwise.” A. Installing a curfew, teens and police would be unwisely facing unnecessary tension created by lawmakers. B. Lawmakers would be unwise to install a curfew and create unnecessary tension between teens and police. C. Installing a curfew, police and teens would be unwisely facing unnecessary tension created by lawmakers. D. Creating unnecessary tension between teens and police, it would be unwise of lawmakers to install a curfew.

Unity and Coherence Good writers try for one effect. They not only delete irrelevant ideas but also put the remaining ones in a logical order. Finally, they make sure that each idea is connected to the rest so that the reader can follow them – often by using connecting words called “transitions.” But how do you decide on a logical order?

Unity and Coherence Time Order First, later, during, after, then, finally, when Order of importance Most important, certainly, doubtless, perhaps Cause and effect As a result, consequently, thus, one reason, another reason Spatial Order Above, below, beside, next to

Unity and Coherence

February 16th - punctuation. February 18th - subject/verb agreement. February 23rd - parallel structure. February 25 th - thesis statements/essay structure