Watch how it’s done…  Tears ran from her eyes. Her face turned red. She breathed loudly, and she inhaled as if she couldn’t get enough air. She put her head in her hands and sat on a chair.  Tears gushed from her eyes. Her face flushed red. She gasped loudly, and she snorted as if she couldn’t draw enough air. She buried her head in her hands and collapsed on a chair.

Help with this paragraph…  George ran down the street and called to his friend. “I’ve got it!” he said. He held the five dollars in his hand. He showed the money to his friend. George smiled. He jumped up and down for joy.  George ___down the street and _____to his friend. “I’ve got it!” he ____. He _____ the five dollars in his hand. He _________ the money to his friend. George ________. He _______ up and down for joy.

Apply this skill in your crafting notebook….  Change the underlined verbs in each of the following sentences.  Sam closed the door angrily.  Sarah told him that he’d better move.  I knocked on the door, and went into the room.  The teacher hurriedly wrote, me a note, and I left the room.

Master this skill in your own writing…  Today, go to your composing notebook and find a paragraph in which you can rewrite improving the word choice of your verbs. Circle those verbs. Then rewrite the paragraph choosing more vivid verbs.

Active vs. passive writing  Use active verbs rather than passive. Active verbs rivet readers’ attention; passive verbs weaken your writing.  Kim broke the jar ( active verb)  The jar was broken by Kim ( passive verb)

Watch how it’s done…  Kim broke the jar ( active verb)  The jar was broken by Kim ( passive verb)  The person DOING the action should be in FRONT of the verb.  When the person/object is at the end of the sentence the pace of the writing is slowed down/weakened

Help with the example  The dog was pulled by his owner down the street. The neighbors were awoken by the barking dog. The window was opened by one grumpy man and his yells were loud and rude. A bottle was even thrown out the window at the dog and his owner.  The __________ pulled his ______ down the street. The ______________ woke up the ______________. One __________ yelled loudly and rudely and _______________ a bottle at the pair.

Active verbs use fewer words with more meaning.  The dog was pulled by his owner down the street. The neighbors were awoken by the barking dog. The window was opened by one grumpy man and his yells were loud and rude. A bottle was even thrown out the window at the dog and his owner.  The __________ pulled his ______ down the street. The ______________ woke up the ______________. One __________ yelled loudly and rudely and _______________ a bottle at the pair.

Apply this skill in your crafting notebook….  A letter is being written by Michael.  A message was sent by Sam’s parents.  A milk carton had been thrown by Marie.  The car was totaled by Tait.  The DVD recorder could have been repaired by the mechanic.  Handball was played by the boys in the back.  The window was not opened by the teacher.

Now think back to our vivid verb lesson and revise those verbs.  From :  Wrote  Sent  threw  Totaled  Repaired  Played  opened  To:  __________________  ___________________

Master these skills in your own writing…  Reread your draft finding TWO verbs to change to vivid verbs. Circle those words used.  Reread your draft and revise for active/passive sentence structure. Underline those sentences revised.

Watch how it’s done…  The clock is striking twelve.  The clock strikes twelve.  Verbs ending in –ing (striking, prowling, shouting) are weaker than their shorter forms (strike, prowl, shout).

Help with this paragraph…  Joey is walking slowly to class because he forgot his homework. Mrs. Cochran was joking with him yesterday and he promised to bring it in but then he didn’t. Joey was thinking she may give him another day to turn it in but he didn’t want to ask.  Joey _________________  Mrs. Cochran _____________________  Joey _________________________

Apply this skill in your crafting notebook….

Watch how it’s done…  He did not remember to feed the dog.  She did not pass the music exam.  He forgot to feed the dog.  She failed the music exam.  Prefer the single verb to the roundabout phrase. Write what DID happen, not what did NOT happen.

Help with this paragraph…

Apply this skill in your crafting notebook….