How To Understand and Motivate Teenagers John Williams Academic Life Coach Date School

What You’ll Get From this Presentation An Introduction to Core Motivation, a personality tool that provides insight into understanding teenagers (as well as yourself) Tips and Tools that do work with teenagers Some coaching and action steps for yourself

A Word about Academic Life Coaching Dedicated to helping students successfully navigate high school and the college application process Founded in 2004 Organization of nearly 50 Academic Life Coaches located internationally from Boston to Dubai As seen in CNN, Huffington Post, MSNBC, Wall Street Journal, and the Associated Press

Our Programs Work. Over the past seven years, students who learned skills like this in our program experienced: 93% Reported feeling more confident 82% Reported less stress 79% Reported improved communication with parents 100% Accepted to 1 or more of their top 3 college choices 0.81 Average GPA boost (of students who were not already earning a 4.0)

The Key Give teenagers tools to better understand themselves as individuals and empower them with choice

Personality The bundle of characteristic patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that make a person unique

5 Leading Theories of Personality Type: set number of personality traits with biological influence Trait: characteristics passed down through genes Psychodynamic: emphasis on unconscious in personality Behavioral: only observable behavior matters Humanist: importance of subjective experience and choice

Core Motivation Based on Type and Humanist Personality Theories A map to increase your self- awareness, a fundamental component of Emotional Intelligence Useful Tips for Better Communication

When Speaking to a One... Go easy on them, and be sure to point out what they did right Help them take the larger picture into account #1: Perfectionist Core Motivation I am OK if I am perfect

When Speaking to a Two... Be sure to show your gratitude for who they are and what they do. Encourage them to take care of themselves. #2: Helper Core Motivation I am OK if I can help others

When Speaking to a Three... Appreciate the 3’s desire to accomplish the goal, but encourage them to focus on fulfillment, not just achievement. Let them know that you support them no matter if they succeed or fail. #3: Performer Core Motivation I am OK if I am the best

When speaking to a 4... Understand that 4’s identify with their emotions. If it’s a positive emotion, build on it. If it’s a negative emotion, acknowledge it and let it pass. Gently bring the focus to something positive and possible actions to take, but let the 4 decide to move into action. #4: Individualist Core Motivation I am OK if I express myself and I’m understood

When Speaking to a Five... 5’s love to be right. When speaking to a 5 avoid arguing the bottom-line right or wrong answer but bring your focus to the 5’s reasons for their decision. Gently encourage 5’s to move into action and to pay attention to results, not just theory. #5: Expert Core Motivation I am OK if I am right

When Speaking to a Six... Remember that 6’s at first may completely disagree with an idea, then the next day fully embrace it. Let the 6 know you are on their side and trying to help. Be careful what you promise and make sure that you follow through on promises. Appreciate the 6’s wit and sense of humor and don’t take negativity too seriously. #6: Loyal-Skeptic Core Motivation I am OK if I do what is expected

When Speaking to a Seven... Encourage 7’s to slow down and appreciate what’s present. When giving feedback it’s helpful to say something positive before and after something negative. Remember: positive, negative, positive. Let them know your needs and support them when facing anything negative. #7: Enthusiast Core Motivation I am OK if I get what I want

When Speaking to an Eight... Be straight forward and blunt - get to the point. Keep focused on the goal, don’t make things personal, because they aren’t. Encourage them to ask for help when they need it - willingly showing vulnerability for 8’s is a sign of positive personal growth. #8: Challenger Core Motivation I am OK if I am in control

When Speaking to an Nine... Encourage 9’s to know what they want and assert themselves. Encourage them to speak up before they “just can’t take it anymore.” Support them when they step outside their comfort zones. Encourage them when they take active steps toward a goal and focus on performance. #9: Peacemaker Core Motivation I am OK if everything is peaceful

Next Steps Spark meaningful conversations about what’s most important to you and channels of communication Help your teenager understand him/herself as an individual Look at the handout for suggested exercises for personal growth Be aware of your strengths and how you can use them in choice of major, college, and career path

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