Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships PEERS: PEOPLE OF SIMILAR AGE WHO SHARE SIMILAR INTERESTS.

Friendships A friendship is a significant relationship between two people. Healthy friendships are based on caring, respect, trust, and consideration. They may also become people with whom you are comfortable sharing your needs, wants, emotions, and confidences. Friendships can give you a sense of belonging and help you reinforce your values. There are several kinds of friendships.

Platonic Friendship A platonic friendship is a friendship with a member of the opposite gender in which there is affection but the two people are not considered a couple. Platonic Friendship help you realize that all people, regardless of gender, have similar feelings, needs, and concerns.

Casual Friendships A casual friendship between peers who share something in common. You may form a casual friendship with a classmate, a teammate, or someone who you work with. Casual friends are usually people with whom you share some interests but are not necessarily people with whom you form deep emotional bonds.

Close Friendships Close friends have strong emotional ties and feel comfortable sharing their thoughts, experiences, and feelings. They trust and support each other, acting with kindness, courtesy, and loyalty. When problems arise in the relationship, close friends will try to work them out together.

Close Friendships Similar values, interests, in beliefs Open and honest communication Sharing of joys, disappoints, dreams, and concerns Mutual respect

Cliques A clique is a small circle of friends usually with similar backgrounds or tastes, who exclude people viewed as outsiders. Cliques can have positive and negative influences on peers. Positive: sense of belonging Negative: if members are discouraged from thinking for themselves or acting as individuals

Forming Healthy Relationships Peer pressure: the influence that people your age may have on you. Positive Peer Pressure- participation in activity, role models, worthwhile cause Negative – manipulation, engage in behaviors that go against values, etc.

Unhealthy Relationships What happens when things don’t go as planned? How do you avoid or get out of uncomfortable or unsafe situations or relationships?

Passive, Aggressive, Assertive

Passive & Aggressive Passive- have a tendency to give up, give in, or back down without standing up for their own rights and needs. Aggressive- people are overly forceful, pushy, hostile, or attacking in their approach. This can encourage fighting or harm.

Assertiveness Being assertive means standing up for your rights in a firm and positive way. Refusal skills: are communication strategies that can help you say no when you are urged to take part in behaviors that go against your values. Step One : State your position, sound like you mean it, say “NO”, give an honest reason for your response to strengthen your refusal.

Step Two- Suggest Alternatives By offering an alternative you create an opportunity for your friend to be with you in a way that is comfortable. Suggestions should take you away from the dangerous or unpleasant situation. Ex. “Let’s go to the movies instead.”

Step Three- Stand Your Ground Make it clear that you mean what you’ve said, use strong body language and maintain eye contact. If this does not work, remove yourself from the situation. Simply say “I’m going home.”

Which is better…Passive, Aggressive or Assertive? Being assertive allows you to get your point across without escalating the situation.

Dating & Setting Limits Dating can be an enjoyable learning experience. Develops social skills, communication, and also allows people to learn more about themselves. Infatuation- or exaggerated feelings of passion for another person. Although such feelings are natural, it is important to not mistake them for genuine affection.

Affection Is a feeling of fondness for someone, that comes when you know another person well. Friendship and caring are essential for building an affectionate, close relationship with a dating partner.

Deciding to Date Not everyone dates. Shyness Other interests and time commitments Family traditions or values Group dates Double dates Relieve the pressure of being alone with someone new

Avoiding risk situations - pressure to participate in sexual activity. Know where you are going Find out who else will be there Discuss what time they expect you home Bring money and a phone Avoid places where alcohol and other drugs are present. Avoid being alone with a date at home or in an isolated place.

Dating Relationships Ongoing relationship with only one person. This type of relationship may help you develop skills that will someday prepare you for the dignity, respect, and responsibility required in a marriage. Keep in mind that dating one person may limit your chances for socializing with others.

Dating Beginning and ending relationships can be hard, but this experience can mature you emotionally. Honesty and open communication are necessary.

Communication It is important to get your point across! Use clear language Use words not just body language Get right to the point

Setting limits Limits are intended to protect your health and safety. For example, a curfew. Limits should be established ahead of time and agreed upon by both teens and their families before the date. As you mature, you set your own limits. Age of the person you date, how to get there, how late you will be staying out, what you’ll be doing, etc. When you communicate your limit on sexual activity, you need to be clear and firm.

Abstinence Abstinence- is a deliberate decision to avoid high risk behaviors, including sexual activity before marriage. What to consider: your priorities, personal limits on how you can express affection, share your thoughts with your partner, talk with a trusted adult, avoid high-pressure situations, do not use alcohol or other drugs.

Abstinence will keep you safe from Unplanned pregnancy Sexually transmitted diseases Emotional strain Social implications “Labeled as easy, etc.”

Birth Control Behavioral methods Over-the-counter methods Prescription methods Permanent Methods

Sexual Harassment Terminology Explicit- clear, direct, straightforward Implicit- not clear, implied or hinted at Harass- to annoy, intimidate, frighten, threaten or bully another person Physical sexual conduct- touching another person in a sexual way, usually to show affection; in the case of sexual harassment, this touch is inappropriate and unwanted

Why victims don’t report sexual harassment They blame themselves They feel powerless They don’t know how to report the harassment They are afraid or embarrassed They don’t want to get the harasser into trouble They don’t trust their perceptions of what happened- maybe they “misunderstood”

Dating an Abuser Warning signs that you might be dating an abuser…..

Power & Control in Dating Verbal abuse Destruction of personal property Threats, anger, intimidation Jealously, isolation, possessiveness Abuse of the “male” privilege Sexual abuse Physical abuse Psychological and emotional abuse

Healthy vs. Unhealthy SupportiveUnsupportive Some Arguing Excessive Arguing Sex(if desired)Unwanted, forced sex Shared respectPossessiveness TrustDishonest, mistrust LovingControlling, Obsessive CaringAggressive Give complimentsGive put downs Raises self esteemLowers self esteem Instills happinessInstills fear Takes on dates/romance/surprisesTakes for granted Shows off to friendsExcludes from friends Proud of partner’s accomplishmentsJealous of partner

Respect Yourself Live your life with dignity. Respect yourself to do the right thing for YOU! You deserve to be cared for, NOT scared for. “Thank You For Being A Friend” (Andrew Gold)